


Beyond The Walls

by Light_Within_Darkness



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: (Partially) Posted Elsewhere, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst and Humor, Awkward Boners, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Community: snkkink, Dirty Talk, Eren is adorkable, Eventual Smut, Explicit Language, Fluff, For The Kink Meme!, Hand Jobs, Hurt/Comfort, Jean has a crush on Bertholdt and it is amusing, Jean is comic relief, Levi is a badass, M/M, Male Slash, Men Crying, Minor Character Death, Oral Sex, Platonic Male/Male Relationships, Sexual Tension, Sharing Body Heat, Slow Build, Some Jean/Marco Feels, Sorry Jean, TW: Blood, TW: Hunting scenes, TW: Violence, Yaoi, so many awkward boners
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-02
Updated: 2014-10-30
Packaged: 2017-12-28 05:05:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 18
Words: 72,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/988025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Light_Within_Darkness/pseuds/Light_Within_Darkness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was Eren's first mission with the Survey Corps, and it was supposed to be an easy one.  However, the Titans never make anything easy.  What was supposed to be a simple reconnaissance turns into a fight for survival when a Titan attack leaves Levi, Eren, and Jean stranded out in the woods, miles away from the Walls.  As if that wasn't bad enough, it's the middle of winter.</p><p>With their 3D Maneuver Gear broken beyond repair, they'll have to overcome more than just the elements to make it back home.  Namely, each other.  As well as the feelings that Levi and Eren may or may not be starting to have for each other.</p><p>One thing's for certain: survival is going to be a <i>bitch.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally written for a prompt on the Shingeki no Kyojin Kink Meme on Dreamwidth, involving Eren, Levi, and Jean getting lost in the woods together during the winter. I'll be posting it on the kink meme as well as here on AO3. You can find the original prompt here: http://snkkink.dreamwidth.org/2848.html?page=18#comments
> 
> This is a canon AU that takes place around the time of the Female Titan arc. The events of this fic take the place of the Survey Corps expedition where Titan!Annie shows up for the first time in canon. So this is an AU, but a canon-compliant one. :)
> 
> Enjoy~

Levi had no idea how it had come to this. He was still half-hoping that the day's events would turn out to be some sort of terrible nightmare. In another minute or so he would wake up safe and sound in his warm, clean bed back at the Survey Corps HQ. In order to test this theory, Levi closed his eyes and pinched the skin of his wrist as hard as he possibly could. The Corporal had heard, when he was very young, that such an action would cause a person to jolt awake out of a bad dream.

_"Shit,"_ Levi breathed out, feeling a sharp pain shoot through his arm. The Corporal immediately released the abused skin, which was now an angry red color. He opened his eyes to see that nothing around him had changed. Levi was still knee-deep in a snowdrift, with an unconscious Eren Jeager lying in a sprawled-out heap a few feet away. Levi's 3D Maneuver Gear lay in a heap of tangled wires and broken metal around him, bits and pieces sticking out of the snow like jagged teeth. A broken canister near his foot was slowly oozing out gas, staining the snow around it a dirty gray. And on top of all that, the wind was picking up, biting straight through Levi's green cloak and making him shiver. Closing his eyes again, Levi let the memories of how this had happened filter slowly back through his mind.

**-x-**

Levi had been leading a mission out to check on one of the few supply depots the Survey Corps had managed to set up beyond Wall Maria. The Survey Corps had to run these sorts of checks periodically, in order to make sure that there was no structural damage and that the food and other supplies inside were in good condition. The supply depots were small, to be sure, but they were still crucial outposts for humanity in the fight against the Titans. A ruined depot could mean the difference between life and death during a battle.

Erwin had ordered that Eren come along on this mission. It was considered "routine," at least by Survey Corps standards. In reality, there was no such thing as a "routine mission." Titan territory was dangerous and unpredictable in even the best circumstances. For many soldiers, it proved to be fatal. Still, Erwin argued, Eren needed to experience what it was like to be outside the walls on a scouting mission. Since this particular mission was considered low-risk, the military brass had decided that it would be perfect as Eren's first. Levi had rolled his eyes at that - Eren had lived through Shiganshina _and_ Trost, so what was the point in treating him with kid gloves now? Still, he supposed, it was better than throwing a brat who could barely control his own Titan powers into the middle of a raging battlefield.

It was a cold morning in early January when they'd left. Despite the clear blue sky and bright sun, the air outside was the coldest Levi had ever felt it to be. The wind never seemed to let up either, a freezing cold gust that bit right through the Corporal's green traveling cloak. Powdery snow blew right into their faces, flashing in the sunlight and making for poor visibility. Levi could tell right away that it was going to be a miserable trip.

They rode off in a basic scouting formation, with Levi, his squad, and Eren making up the center group. Two other groups of soldiers flanked them on the right and left. A few other soldiers would be serving as messengers, riding between the groups to relay orders. One of these messengers was a soldier from the 104th Trainee Corps like Eren, a boy by the name of Jean Kirschtein. Levi had ordered Jean to ride with the center group, so that he wouldn't have to waste precious time looking for the kid in an emergency. This proved to be a mistake, as no one had bothered to tell Levi that Eren and Jean apparently couldn't stand each other.

"It's _freezing_ out here," Jean complained for what had to be the hundredth time in an hour, as the amber-eyed soldier huddled slightly further into his cloak. "I think my balls are gonna fall off."

"Yeah, if you _had_ any balls," Eren muttered quietly. Gunter, who had been riding alongside Eren, let out a loud snicker that managed to catch Jean's attention. The disgruntled frown Jean had been wearing ever since they'd departed deepened as he glared at Eren.

"You're one to talk, Jaeger," Jean growled. "Have you ever gotten laid at all in your life? Cause I gotta say, it's gonna suck to die a virgin."

Eren's big blue-green eyes lit up in anger. "Like any girl would willingly sleep with you, horse-face! You'd have to put a bag over your head if you wanted to get any."

"If the two of you continue speaking, I will _personally_ make sure neither of you ever gets the chance to fuck _anyone,_ period," Levi said curtly, before Jean had a chance to even open his mouth. "This isn't the fucking academy here. If you idiots end up getting eaten, it'll be because you wouldn't shut up long enough to watch out for - " 

_"Titans,_ Captain!" Petra's shout cut through Levi's speech. The woman pointed to their left, her light brown eyes wide with urgency. Levi turned in time to see the huge silhouettes of three Titans. Large ones, by the look of things. Two of them looked to be at least ten-meter class, and the third was probably a six- or seven-meter class. The ground trembled beneath the heavy footfalls of the monsters as they approached.

"Fuck," Jean breathed a few feet away. All of them were standing in the middle of a wide-open, snow-covered plain. The only kind of cover for miles was a single, albeit fairly large, tree. Levi could only just barely make it out against the northern horizon, and it was probably at least half a mile's ride away, if not more. Still, it was their only hope for survival.

"Head towards the tree!" Levi shouted. "If we can make it there, we can use our maneuver gear to mount a counter-offensive!" The Corporal spurred his horse into a full gallop, and heard the sounds of his squad, Jean, and Eren doing likewise. Before long the horses' hooves were kicking up snow in a great powdery cloud behind them, the landscape racing past their eyes in a blur of white. Levi focused solely on the tree in the far distance, growing slowly but steadily larger. They would make it. They _had_ to make it.

"Sir!" Erd rode up on Levi's right, their two horses racing alongside each other. "We never received a signal flare from the left flank warning us of Titans approaching! Do you think - "

"Keep your mouth shut and don't worry about it until we've killed these fuckers!" Levi shouted. At this point, however, it was probably fair to assume the worst. Even the most hardened soldiers would have shit their pants at the sight of three large-class Titans approaching. The left flank had probably followed their first instincts and tried to flee, but a horse could only outrun a Titan for so long in an open area. The left flank's soldiers had probably been wiped out before any of them had thought to fire a signal. _Damn you, Erwin,_ Levi thought angrily. _Why did you make me lead this stupid fucking mission in the first place? You should have led this one, dammit!_

Levi immediately wiped the thought from his memory. Thinking about the gruesome ways in which soldiers died was not conducive to survival at the moment. "Auruo, fire the signal!" He shouted. A moment later there was a loud _bang,_ and a plume of red smoke flew up above their heads, signaling that a Titan had been sighted. Hopefully, the right flank at least would be alerted to the situation.

They were perhaps a little more than halfway to the tree when Levi heard Eren shout, "Captain Levi, sir! Gunter is in trouble!"

Levi risked a brief glance over his shoulder, and saw that Gunter's horse was struggling. The animal had probably thrown a shoe and injured one of its hooves, since bright circles of crimson were staining its prints in the snow. The horse was still trying to gallop at full speed, but was quickly flagging. One of the Titans was practically close enough to grab Gunter right off of his horse.

"Sir, if you'll let me transform, I can save him!" Eren shouted. He was riding only slightly behind Levi now. Levi watched out of the corner of his eye as Eren brought his hand up to his mouth, those bright blue-green eyes of his blazing with determination.

"Don't do it, Eren!" Petra shouted. "Commander Erwin said that you were only allowed to transform if your life is in danger!" 

"You're still not able to fully control your powers!" Erd added his voice as well. "It won't be safe if you transform now!"

Levi could see Eren staring at him, confusion showing in his face. _What should I do?_ The boy's eyes asked Levi silently. _Tell me what to do. I don't know what the right choice to make is._

"Eren." The Corporal raised his voice so that Eren could hear it above the din of the galloping horses and roaring Titans. "If you want to transform now, I won't stop you. Only you can make that choice. Know, however, that I and my squad have sworn to protect you. We will not let you die without a fight. So make your decision, Jaeger: trust in your comrades, or trust in yourself?"

For several long moments Eren's hand hung suspended in midair, only an inch away from his mouth. Then, finally, the young soldier dropped his hand to his side, and resolutely closed his mouth. "I will go forward with the Squad, sir!" Eren shouted.

"Thank you, Eren! We won't let you down, promise!" Petra replied.

Despite the fact that Titans were mere yards away from them now, Levi felt a brief, warm feeling bloom in his chest at the realization that Eren had decided to trust them. Eren trusted _him_ to lead them to safety, and he trusted Squad Levi with his life. Privately, Levi swore that he wouldn't let Eren down. He would prove that the brat's trust wasn't misplaced.

Then, predictably, everything went to shit.

One of the larger Titans suddenly lunged forward, making a wild grab for Eren. It missed by several yards, but still managed to knock up a great heap of snow, which caused Eren's horse to stumble and fall with a high-pitched scream. Eren was pitched out of the saddle, and sent tumbling and bumping through the snow to land a short distance away from another Titan. The monster only had to take one more great stride forward and it would crush the brat. Eren's eyes were fixed on the Titan's feet, wide with the thought of his impending death.

_Shit shit goddammit Eren you fucking brat shiiittt..._ Foul language coursed through Levi's head a mile a minute as he activated his 3D maneuver gear, latching one of the wires onto the Titan's shoulder. The Corporal swung forward out of his saddle, flying through the air towards Eren. Levi managed to grab his young charge around the waist, sending up another cloud of snow into the air scant moments before the Titan's foot came down with an earth-shattering _thud._ Levi swung up and around to land in the crook of the Titan's neck, Eren pressed firmly to his side. The boy blinked up at him, confused as to how he was still alive.

"Corporal, what...?" Eren was cut off by a deafening roar of anger from the Titan they were currently riding on. It raised one of its hands to try and brush off the two humans in much the same way a man would brush off a bothersome fly on a hot day. Once again Levi sent wires flying forth from his maneuver gear, this time swinging Eren and himself around to land on the Titan's knee. Angry roars erupted from the Titan, and the monster took off at a run, probably hoping to shake off the painful spikes of the maneuver gear embedded in its flesh. It kicked up great waves of snow which battered against Levi and Eren like a blizzard from hell.

"Fuck!" Levi hissed as the cold snow whipped against his body. The stuff seemed to permeate all the gaps in his cloak and uniform, and it felt painfully cold against Levi's skin. The Corporal pressed himself further against the Titan, doing his best to shield Eren and himself from the snow.

_"Captain Levi! Eren!"_ Upon seeing his commanding officer and Eren get trapped against the Titan's knee, Jean had sprung immediately into action. Before Trost, Jean would probably have let one of Levi's squad handle the rescue while he rode his horse as fast as possible in the other direction. But after seeing his comrades fall by the hundreds in Trost - after seeing Marco die - Jean was determined not to let another soldier die in front of him while the brunet could still do something about it.

Jean let his maneuver gear pull him up off his horse, shooting the wires forth to latch onto the Titan's shoulder blade. He felt the air hit him in a sudden rush of cold as Jean pulled out his swords from their places in his maneuver gear, the blades flashing deadly silver in the sunlight. Crying out in rage, Jean swung up towards the nape of the Titan's neck, arm poised to swing...

Only to feel a harsh pull on his torso, as the wire that had been supporting him was suddenly pulled tight. The Titan, having felt yet another sharp pain in its body, had raised its arm up in a desperate, bestial attempt to get rid of whatever was causing it pain. Its fingers happened to catch against the wires of Jean's maneuver gear, which they soon clasped around and pulled. _Hard._

There was a loud, metallic _snap_ as the wires were pulled free of the main maneuver gear unit. In fact, the entire front half of the maneuver gear was pulled apart with a terrible, screeching noise. Jean watched in horror as bits of metal and wire went flying everywhere, catching the light and glimmering like stars before falling to the ground below. And then he was falling as well, the air rushing past his ears and drowning out all other sound. The sky spun in a wild blue disc above Jean's face, the sun's rays blinding him. This was it, he was finally dead, he'd be crushed to bits against the ground or a Titan's foot any moment now...

_WHUMP._

All of Jean's breath was forced out of him in a great rush as his back landed hard against the springy bough of a tree. The bark was slippery with snow and ice, however, and Jean felt himself sliding off. He scrabbled around for something to hold onto, felt his fingers catch briefly onto a piece of half-frozen bark sticking off of the tree's trunk, before Jean slid off completely. He was falling again, although this time it was the dirty, snowy ground that was coming up to meet him. There was something else down there too, something hard and gray...

Jean recognized the large rock beneath him just before he landed on it. A brief but intense jolt of pain ran through his body, and then the world went dark around him.

A few moments later, the Titan Levi and Eren had been riding on kicked its leg out in one last-ditch attempt to get rid of the pain in its knee. This time, however, it worked. The 3D maneuver gear had never been built to withstand holding onto a fast-moving Titan for long periods of time. Having been pushed past its limits, Levi's maneuver gear broke apart with a loud wrench of metal. Levi and Eren were sent flying through the air to land hard in a nearby snowdrift, where they both promptly lost consciousness.

**-x-**

Now, Levi was sitting in that same snowdrift where he'd been knocked out, the shattered pieces of his maneuver gear lying around him. A forest of tall trees surrounded him, their leafless, snow-covered boughs stretching up to dim the sun's rays. _Damn,_ Levi thought to himself. _That fucking Titan must have carried us farther than I'd thought._

The Corporal moved to check Eren, who was still lying unconscious next to him, grunting in pain as he did so. Apparently, Levi's body had not taken well to riding on a Titan for several miles, followed by being thrown off and lying in an unconscious heap in the snow. At least nothing felt broken though, so there was that. 

Eren was, luckily, still breathing. Knowing the brat's crazy regeneration abilities, Levi was willing to bet that he was probably unscathed. "Come on, Jaeger, get up," he grunted, roughly shaking Eren's shoulder. "We have to get out of here."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi and Eren find Jean, and awkward boners are had.

"...get up, Jaeger! Fucking wake up already!"

Eren groaned as his eyes slowly fluttered open. The world around him was a blurry, black and white mess. He blinked hard a few times, and after a minute or so his surroundings came into focus. He was currently lying in a bank of snow, and had been for some time now, if the cold in his arms and legs was anything to go by. The dark, skeletal branches of trees towered high above his head, crisscrossing over the sky like cracks in a pane of glass. Crouching over Eren's form was a pale man with neatly parted black hair and concerned gray eyes. _Captain Levi?_

Eren winced as the memories of how he'd ended up here rushed in all at once, like an engorged river after a heavy rainstorm. The three Titans chasing them, one of them managing to pitch Eren off of his horse. Captain Levi managing to save him at the last minute. The Titan taking off at a run, with Levi and Eren clinging to its knee by the 3D Maneuver Gear. Then the monster had kicked out its leg, Levi's maneuver gear had broken...and the last thing Eren remembered until now was flying through the air. He must have been knocked unconscious. 

Eren sat up, crying out softly as his head spun. A dull, throbbing ache pulsed right behind his eyes, and his body felt stiff and numb from lying in the snow for so long. At least nothing appeared to be broken.

"Easy, brat," Levi said, laying a steadying hand on Eren's shoulder. "I don't need you passing out on me after I've finally managed to get you awake."

"Captain Levi...where are we?" Eren mumbled. He managed with some effort to lift his arms, and pressed his hands gently against his eyes, trying to alleviate his headache at least a bit.

"I don't know," Levi grunted, and Eren thought he could hear a hint of concern underneath the Corporal's normally cool and collected exterior. "But we need to get moving now. It'll be nighttime soon, and I sure as hell don't want to be out in the open like this after the sun goes down. Can you stand?"

"I...I think so." Forcing his leaden arms and legs to work, Eren managed to push himself up into a standing position. He wobbled unsteadily for a moment, but stayed upright. After a few moments, there was a tingling sensation as Eren's limbs began to warm up slightly with use.

"Does anything hurt, Jaeger?" Levi asked.

"My head," Eren mumbled, rubbing at the place between his eyes with two fingers.

"That's not what I meant, brat. Do your arms and legs hurt? Does anything feel broken or bruised?"

Eren swung his arms and stomped his feet a little, then prodded gently along his torso for injuries. He was relieved when nothing hurt. "I feel fine, sir."

"Good." Levi squinted up at the sun, frowning as he saw it starting to dip beneath the western horizon. "Come on, Jaeger. We only have about an hour of sunlight left, hour and a half tops. We need to find somewhere to hole up until then. We can figure out what we're going to do next in the morning." Levi started off at a brisk pace, Eren hurrying after.

They had only been walking for around ten minutes, by Levi's estimation, when they came across a large, flat rock, half-covered in snow, between two trees. Lying in a crumpled heap atop the rock was the tall, gangly body of a boy in the end stages of adolescence. A green Survey Corps cloak was tangled around his form, and poking out from the folds of green cloth was an all-too familiar head of messy, ash-brown hair.

"Holy shit... _Jean?"_ Eren cried. The young soldier ran forward to kneel by the prone body, with Levi close behind. Eren's fingers struggled to remove the cloak, scrabbling uselessly against the fabric for a few moments until he was firmly pushed aside by Levi.

"Idiot, you're going to tear his winter gear if you keep doing that! Now help me flip him over." With a bit of effort, Eren and Levi managed to get their hands underneath Jean and turn his body until he was lying on his back. Levi unclasped the cloak and pressed his fingers against Jean's wrist and neck, searching for a pulse.

Eren bit his lip with worry as he watched the Corporal look Jean over. Sure, he and Jean...had their differences, if one were to put it kindly. But that didn't mean Eren wanted him dead! He'd seen enough death in his life already, and Eren wasn't keen on seeing more people die, no matter who they were.

"He's alive," Levi said after a few terse moments. "There's a steady pulse. Which is good, because I sure as fuck don't want to perform CPR in this freezing weather." Much as he had done with Eren earlier, Levi gave Jean's shoulder a rough shake. "Get up, soldier!"

"Come on, horse-face! I'm not getting eaten by Titans because you won't get your lazy ass off the ground!" Eren yelled, pushing at Jean's side.

A loud groan issued from Jean's mouth, and his amber eyes slowly fluttered open, blinking blearily up at the two males hovering over him.

"Fucking finally," Levi muttered. "You feeling all right, kid?"

"Am I dead?" Jean moaned. "Is this hell?" 

"You're not dead yet, kid. Now get the fuck up, because I sure as shit won't be dragging you around," Levi ordered. Jean turned his bleary amber eyes towards the dark blur of Levi's face, and the first thing he was able to focus on were the Corporal's piercing, narrow gray eyes. Jean audibly gulped. Those eyes alone looked like they could kill him with the force of their glare alone. Lance Corporal Levi was a scary man, that was for sure.

Jean tried to sit up, only to feel a sharp pain lance through his upper torso. It felt as if someone had just jammed a blade between his ribs. "Ah! Fuck!" He hissed out between clenched teeth, squeezing his eyes shut against the pain. He reached a hand up to press against his ribs, wincing when even the light pressure of his fingers sent jolts of pain through his body.

"Jean? Are you OK?" Jean opened his eyes once again, and this time Eren's face swam into view, large blue-green eyes full of concern. One of Eren's hands hovered near Jean's torso, unsure of whether or not direct contact would cause more harm than good.

Jean swatted the hand away with a loud groan. "This must be hell," he muttered. "There's no fucking way I'd be in heaven with you, Jaeger."

"H-hey! I was concerned about you, asshole!" Eren spluttered.

"Both of you _shut the fuck up,_ and that's an order," Levi said. It was strange how the Corporal could manage to sound so intimidating without raising his voice at all. Maybe it was because Jean and Eren had seen Levi in combat, and knew that the smaller man could rip them apart with little effort if he wanted to. The two boys immediately went quiet.

Eren moved back so that Levi could kneel in front of Jean, hovering nervously in the background while Levi's hands felt along Jean's ribs. The Corporal's rough, callused fingers and palms hurt as they poked and prodded. Jean sucked in a breath and let it out in a hiss of half-audible obscenities. This was perhaps the most physical pain he'd ever felt in his life, and Eren and Levi were most definitely _not_ helping matters any.

"Bruised ribs," Levi said after a few moments. The Corporal's hands left Jean's body, and Jean couldn't help a slight sigh of relief. "You're lucky they aren't broken, though you'd probably be dead if they were. It's not hard for a broken rib to pierce a lung; I've seen it happen before."

Both Jean and Eren looked at the Corporal in panic. "What should we do, Captain?" Eren asked. "Bastard or not, Jean's still my comrade. We can't just _leave_ him here. If a Titan comes along, he's done for."

"We'll just have to carry him until we find somewhere to bed down for the night," Levi grunted. "It won't be pleasant, but there's nothing else for it." 

Levi pulled up Jean's left arm, ignoring the boy's slight cry of pain at the motion, and wrapped it around Levi's shoulders. "Grab his other arm, Jaeger," Levi instructed, and Jean cried out again as he felt Eren lift his right arm to rest over Eren's shoulders.

"On the count of three, we lift," Levi instructed. "Kirschtein, although Jaeger and I will be supporting most of your weight, you'll have to try and walk at least little bit, understand? You'll only hurt yourself worse if you let your body be dead weight."

"Yes, sir," Jean said, in what was most definitely not a whimper, no sir. Jean Kirschtein did not fucking _whimper_ at pain, no matter how bad it was.

"Alright then. Jaeger, on the count of three we lift, got it?" Eren nodded affirmatively. "One...Two...Three!"

Jean practically screamed in pain as Eren and Levi stood up, hoisting him up alongside, and supporting his weight between the two of them. For a few moments the three of them simply stood there, as Jean adjusted to standing up. The taller boy's breath came in and out in pained little hisses. 

"Don't fucking scream, you idiot!" Levi growled. "Do you _want_ to give our position away to the Titans?!"

_"Fuck,_ that hurt," Jean hissed.

"Well, fucking get used to it," Levi replied. "Now let's go."

**-x-**

The three of them trudged through the snow at a snail's pace. Jean's feet dragged every step of the way, and little cries and grunts of pain escaped his clenched jaw every few minutes. They wove through a seemingly never-ending maze of trees, picking slowly and carefully over rocks, bare roots, and patches of ice.

"Sir...do you think we're close to the walls?" Eren asked quietly at one point. 

"We'll figure it out in the morning, brat," Levi answered gruffly. Eren stopped talking, keeping his worries to himself. Still, he couldn't help but worry. Was it possible that no one knew where they were? But...in that case, how were they supposed to make it back home?

_No,_ Eren thought to himself firmly. _I have to make it back to Mikasa and Armin, and everyone else too._ _I will_ not _die out here._

The last few rays of sun were quickly disappearing over the horizon, cloaking the world around them in blue-gray dusk. It was getting difficult to see, and even the normally unflappable Levi was beginning to feel a few stirrings of anxiety. Jean's face was almost as pale as the snow underfoot, and his moans and grunts of pain were getting more frequent. They were moving even slower than they had been before, and it was clear that Jean wouldn't be able to hobble along for much longer. Neither could Levi and Eren carry him all night - Eren especially was starting to show signs of strain. Privately, Levi admired the two boys for holding up so well under these difficult circumstances. 

There was a harsh crunch and a high pitched yelp from Eren as his foot crashed through the snow, causing the young soldier to stumble and fall flat on his face. Levi was only just barely able to save Jean from falling over as well, by quickly yanking the taller boy over so that Jean's body was half-slumped over his own. "Quit fooling around, brat!" Levi said curtly. "I can't carry Kirschtein on my own over here."

"Sir, I...I think I've found something!" Eren got back to his feet and started to brush away the snow around him. It was soon clear that Eren had accidentally discovered a small cave of sorts, tucked away between three large, cracked boulders, that had previously been hidden by the snow. 

Levi's heart leapt, and he gently laid Jean down for a moment in order to go and help Eren clear away the snow. Chunks of the cold white stuff fell away quickly, and before long Levi and Eren had cleared away a small opening between the rocks, just large enough for the two of them and Jean to squeeze into. It would be a tight fit, to be sure, and they were bound to be uncomfortable, but it sure as hell beat dragging Jean around until they ran into a Titan.

"Alright Jaeger, get in," Levi ordered, and Eren climbed down into the little opening. Eren curled up near the back wall as Levi climbed in after him, dragging Jean in by the legs. Jean couldn't help the cry of pain that escaped his mouth as he landed on top of Levi and Eren.

"Relax, Kirschtein, it'll be OK," Levi said absentmindedly. He'd always been terrible at trying to calm people down, but Jean's breathing seemed to even out slightly all the same. There wasn't a lot of room to move, but Levi, after quite a bit of swearing and accidentally elbowing Eren in the stomach at several points, managed to get Jean's cloak tucked around the boy's tall, wiry frame in order to make him at least a bit more comfortable.

"It's...cold out here..." Jean mumbled softly. Levi and Eren only heard it because the three of them were pressed so closely together.

"Well, no shit," Levi replied. "There's no room to make a fire in here, and even if there was, it's too fucking dark to go out and gather materials for one by now. We'll have to huddle together for body heat. Jaeger, move closer to me."

"Don't wanna touch Jaeger," Jean slurred. The taller boy was obviously half-delirious from pain, but of course Eren didn't pick up on that.

"I don't want to touch you either, horse-face!" Eren growled out.

"Brat, get closer to me and Kirschtein _right this fucking second,_ and that is an order!" Levi said, in the loudest and most commanding tone he could manage without actually yelling. It appeared to have worked, because a moment later Eren's body was pressed tightly against Levi's. The Corporal in turn pressed himself against Jean, making sure that there wasn't an inch of space between the three of them. 

Despite the fact that he was currently huddling in a tiny, dark cave with two teenagers, Levi had to admit - only to himself, of course - that being pressed up against Eren felt...rather nice. Hanji had said that the brat's body temperature was higher than a typical human male's should be, due of course to Eren's Titan powers. In the freezing cold, though, Eren felt like a space heater.

Eren shifted slightly against Levi's back, and he felt the boy's stomach muscles undulating ever so slightly with the movement. Levi had to admit that the kid had a nice body, thin and lithe. Of course, all soldiers had to keep fit, except perhaps for those lazy bastards in the Military Police. However, Eren's body just seemed...nicer somehow. Maybe it was his eyes, forever caught between green and blue, with that delicious, ever-present spark of anger and purpose in them. Or his hair, which always seemed to be messy even if the rest of Eren wasn't. Or perhaps it was Eren's mouth...

Levi noticed that his pants suddenly felt awfully tight around his groin. A wave of dread swept through the Corporal as he realized that thinking about Eren had given him an erection, which was currently being pressed right up against the small of Jean's back.

_Oh fuck,_ Levi thought. This had just become the most awkward evening of his life. Not only was he huddled in a cave with two teenagers, but now Levi had an awkward erection to boot. Really, it was absolutely ridiculous for Levi to even _have_ a boner in the first place. He didn't feel about Eren in _that way..._

...Right?

"Mmm," Jean muttered sleepily. "Yeah Bert, just like that...just a little further..."

Levi felt his cheeks heat up in embarrassment, suddenly immensely grateful for the fact that it was dark. He dearly hoped that Jean didn't have an erection too.

On the Corporal's other side, Eren had begun to snore softly. Unfortunately, the brat's mouth was right up against Levi's ear, and so it sounded to him like a stampede of crazed horses.

It was going to be a long night, that was for damn sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was supposed to be up last week, but I got buried under a deluge of homework and was unable to write very much. Also Pokemon X and Y came out this weekend, and that was...also unhelpful in terms of getting any writing done.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed reading! Thank you very much to everyone who left kudos and comments. You lovely, wonderful readers are all amazing~


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi and Eren go out to gather resources. Levi gives Eren one of his extremely rare Inspiring Speeches, and Eren is forced into becoming Jean's doctor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is late because I'm taking a writing-intensive course at college this semester, and because applying for grad school should be a form of torture prohibited by the Geneva Convention. 
> 
> I also had to rewrite a portion when I remembered that running water doesn't usually freeze over. u.u

The next time Levi opened his eyes, light was filtering down into the tiny cave. Jean and Eren were sleeping more or less peacefully around him - Eren was still snoring, but Jean had thankfully stopped moving around and muttering about "Bert," whoever the fuck that was. Levi's entire body ached, his muscles having cramped up after hours spent in close quarters with two other people. It was high time to wake Eren and Jean up so that they could find out just where the fuck they were. Oh, and go about the business of surviving in a dangerous, hostile wilderness with no 3D Maneuver Gear, when Titans could show up at any time. Couldn't very well forget _that_ little detail.

Levi dug his elbow into Eren's ribcage - perhaps a little more roughly than was absolutely necessary, but the damn brat had given Levi the most uncomfortable erection of his life. Not to mention that infernal _snoring._ "Get up, Jaeger, we've got work to do." 

Eren gave a slight yelp, then groaned as his eyes fluttered open. Despite their dire situation, Levi couldn't help but think that Eren's eyes were absolutely beautiful up close. The Corporal didn't think he'd ever seen a more vivid shade of blue-green before. The brat's eyes were a little on the large side, true, but they worked for Eren.

Mentally, Levi kicked himself for these thoughts. Hadn't he already decided that last night's erection hadn't happened, as far as he was concerned? Here they were, trapped in Titan territory, and Levi was mooning over Eren's _eyes,_ of all things. He must have hit his head when his Maneuver Gear broke, and sent him and Eren flying off of that Titan.

Levi pushed Jean aside as gently as he could, staying mindful of the amber-eyed boy's injuries. Nevertheless, Jean awoke instantly with a quiet groan of pain. "Kirschtein, you stay in this cave today. Keep quiet and don't come out unless you have to piss. I don't want you attracting any Titans or wild animals."

"Kay..." Jean moaned, eyelids still heavy with sleep.

"Come on, brat," Levi said over his shoulder as he clambered out of their tiny shelter. The cold air felt like a punch to the face, but Levi still relished the fact that he was out in the open and could stretch out all his limbs. He and Eren spent a few minutes just stretching out their arms and legs. Based on Eren's quiet sigh of relief, Levi could guess that his subordinate was just as relieved to be out of that cave as well. 

Levi worked a few kinks out of his neck, feeling slightly warmer now that he'd gotten his blood flowing. "Alright, we've got a lot of work to do today," he said. "First, we're going to head back to the spot where you and I landed after that fucking Titan bucked us off. We'll need to salvage the remains of my Maneuver Gear there. Hopefully we can find yours too, while we're at it." Though Levi figured it wasn't too likely that they'd find Eren's 3D Maneuver Gear in one piece. Levi hadn't seen it on the brat when he'd regained consciousness, and it had probably broken off when Eren had been thrown from his horse. Just another shitty piece of luck to add to the already stinking heap.

Eren looked confused. "Um, Captain? If I might ask a question...why are we going back to get your broken equipment? Shouldn't we be trying to get Jean well enough so that we can head back to the Walls?"

Levi sighed deeply. Eren was a smart kid, but the brat could still be so fucking dense at times. "You said it yourself, Jaeger. We can't head back to the Walls right now, not when Kirschtein can barely walk. So we'll be stuck out here for at least a few days, which means that we'll need food and water. We can use the remains of my Maneuver Gear to make weapons and tools and such. Now come on, we're wasting daylight." Levi set off across the snow-covered forest at a brisk pace, Eren hurrying to follow.

"Sir, how are we going to find the spot we woke up in again?" The entire forest looked the same to Eren - a vast whiteness only broken up by the dark, jagged shapes of trees and rocks. The turquoise-eyed soldier doubted that he'd be able to find where he and Levi had been yesterday even if he'd been given a map.

"I remember where it is," Levi said simply. Eren's brow knitted in confusion, but he decided not to try and test the Corporal's already thin patience further with more questions. 

**-x-**

The sun was nearing its high point in the sky by the time Levi and Eren arrived at the snowbank still littered with the remnants of Levi's 3D Maneuver Gear. Thankfully, the spot was relatively undisturbed, aside from the messy depressions that marked where Levi and Eren had lain the day before. Levi bent and began gathering the scraps of metal and wire scattered about the area, all that remained of his formerly pristine 3D Maneuver Gear. 

Eren went to help, sweeping away the snow in order to uncover the smallest bits of gleaming metal and wire. There was a deep sinking feeling in the turquoise-eyed soldier's stomach, as if he had just swallowed a lead weight. Eren had been harboring a faint hope that perhaps Levi's Maneuver Gear could be repaired. After all, he hadn't gotten a very good look at it, since he and the Corporal had set off almost immediately after Eren had regained consciousness. Eren had known, of course, that this wasn't likely. But there was just something about seeing the total wreck that had formerly been a working 3D Maneuver Gear that drained the optimism out of Eren like a sieve. Jean's Maneuver Gear had broken as well, Eren had seen the same scraps of metal and wire surrounding his comrade's prone body yesterday. And Eren had no idea where the hell his own 3D Maneuver Gear was. It hadn't been on him when he'd had woken up, and it was probably gone for good.

Eren took a few deep breaths, trying hard not to let the panic set in. Outside the Walls, Maneuver Gear was a soldier's first, best, and only defense against the Titans. Losing one's 3D Maneuver Gear was analogous to death out here. Eren's own Titan-shifting powers were unstable at best, and certainly nothing that could be relied on in this kind of situation. Suddenly, it dawned on Eren that things had gotten a lot more serious for them.

Levi stood up, brushing the snow from his knees. He'd found several pieces of good, unbroken wire, and some of the larger chunks of metal would make perfectly serviceable containers for water and such once they were scrubbed out. The Corporal had even found a few unbroken blades lying near the foot of a tree. Just the simple feel of a weapon in his hand again made Levi feel at least a bit better. Even the smaller, jagged pieces of metal could be used as makeshift knives or spear points. "Alright Jaeger," the Corporal said. "Let's head over to where we found Kirschtein yesterday. I want to see what we can salvage from his 3D Maneuver Gear."

"Ye...yes sir," he heard Eren say, very quietly, from his right. Looking up at his young subordinate, Levi had to bite back a sigh. The brat had never been good at concealing his emotions, and the fear and concern Eren must be feeling at the moment were displayed clearly in the sharp set of his mouth and deeply furrowed brow. Eren was biting his lip harshly, and Levi could see that the turquoise-eyed soldier was trying his hardest not to cry.

The Corporal sighed slightly, wondering how he, formerly the most ruthless crime boss of the underground world, had become an emotional support for teenagers. "Look at me, Jaeger," he said firmly. 

Eren turned slowly to face the Corporal, though he kept his eyes downcast. "I'm sorry, Captain," Eren said softly. "I must look like such a useless weakling to you right now..."

Levi clapped a hand onto Eren's shoulder, startling the brat into lifting his head and meeting Levi's eyes. "Listen Jaeger," Levi said. "I won't sugarcoat it for you, we're in a real shitty situation right now. Even a hardened soldier twice your age would be pissing his pants right now. We're trapped in Titan territory with no 3D Maneuver Gear, Kirsctein's wounded, and we have no idea where we are."

Eren's face went pale with nerves, but Levi pressed on regardless. "You can't think about any of that right now, alright Jaeger? Spending your time worrying about where we are and how we'll get back will only get you killed. You have to stay in the moment. Focus on how we can survive in the here and now. And right now, brat, what you need to do is stay alert for Titans, and _follow my lead._ "

Eren's eyes were wide and unblinking, fixed intensely on Levi's own dark ones as if they were a lifeline. Looking into those bright eyes, Levi found himself saying something he probably wouldn't have under any other circumstances. "I'll get us through this, Eren. I promise you, we _will_ survive out here and get back home."

Eren's eyes widened slightly at the Corporal's use of his first name. Then he blinked, and Eren's expression stiffened into one of fierce determination. "Yes, Captain Levi!" Eren said, fisting his hand over his heart in a salute. "I will follow your lead, sir!"

Levi almost smiled at that. For a homicidal Titan, the brat could be unbelievably cute at times. "Then come on, we're losing daylight."

**-x-**

It was when they were heading back to the cave, loaded down with all of the bits and pieces of what had formerly been Jean's 3D Maneuver Gear, that they found the river. Levi had suddenly stopped mid-stride, cocking his head slightly to the left. "Jaeger, do you hear that?"

"Huh?" Eren stared at his commanding officer in confusion. "Sir, I don't understand - "

"Shut up and listen," Levi said sharply.

Eren did as he was told, and after a few seconds he heard it, too. A babbling, rushing sound that could only mean one thing. "Captain Levi...there must be water nearby!"

"Exactly. We need to find it." Levi set off, winding between the trees in the direction of the sound of running water. Eren followed, suddenly very aware of just how dry his mouth was. Until now, he and Levi had been eating handfuls of snow whenever they got thirsty. However, the snow was cold and unpleasant to swallow, and left Eren's mouth feeling uncomfortably numb for awhile afterwards. Getting a drink of unfrozen water from a stream sounded like heaven right now.

They found the stream by a copse of willow trees, bubbling cold and clear over a bed of slippery rocks. Eren let out a small cry of happiness, running forward to flop on his stomach and take a good, deep drink, uncaring of the snow and the cold. Levi snorted slightly at the brat's enthusiasm, before getting to his knees and taking a long drink of his own.

"Aaaahhh..." Eren flung his head back, sending droplets of water flying everywhere. Levi winced as a few hit his cheeks. "That was amazing."

"Sit up, Jaeger, you're getting your uniform wet," Levi said, glaring at the stray drops of water staining the collar of Eren's cloak. Although they were both decked out in warm winter gear - wool-lined cloaks, gloves, and sturdy boots - none of it would do Eren any good if it was wet.

"Sorry, sir," Eren mumbled apologetically, wiping his mouth with the back of his glove before filling up his canteen. Levi filled his as well, along with the Maneuver Gear parts that still retained enough shape to hold water.

After having drunk his fill, Eren's attention turned to the willow trees alongside him. The long branches and leaves of the nearby willows, though withered and dry from winter, appeared starkly elegant as they dipped gracefully to touch the water below. Eren took out his standard-issue military knife, and started cutting off bits of bark.

Levi stared at his subordinate, wondering if perhaps Eren was going crazy. "What the fuck are you _doing,_ brat?"

"Getting some willow bark for Jean, sir," Eren explained, now cutting off a few of the smaller willow branches that were within his reach. "My dad often prescribed willow bark as a painkiller for his patients. If we can make a fire, I can brew it into tea. Something hot would do us all some good, I think."

"Oh...that's right. Your father was a doctor, wasn't he? I'd almost forgotten." Levi's head was whirling with the implications of this realization. How much did Eren know about medicine and healing? Levi himself didn't know much beyond setting sprained limbs. Since anyone who was seriously wounded out in the field was usually eaten by a Titan before anyone could try to help them, most soldiers were taught only the most rudimentary first aid. If Eren could do anything to make Kirschtein heal up faster, it would make their time stuck out here a hell of a lot easier. "Jaeger, will you be able to doctor Kirschtein?"

"Huh?" Eren turned to look at Levi. "Well, I'm not really sure...I mean, I used to tag along with my dad when he went on house calls, and I picked up a few things along the way, yeah. But I'm no doctor. I mean, I was only twelve when Shiganshina fell and my dad..." Eren's voice caught in his throat, and he trailed off, abruptly turning back around and cutting off more strips of bark with a bit more force than what was strictly necessary. 

Realizing that they'd strayed onto a topic Eren clearly wasn't interested in pursuing, Levi decided to drop the issue. "Whatever. Just do the best you can with Kirschtein, alright? You probably won't hurt him any worse, anyway." Levi bent down to pick up a metal container of water. "Help me carry these, we should be heading back."

**-x-**

The sun was past its peak in the sky by the time Levi and Eren returned to their tiny cave. Jean was still asleep inside, his arms and legs wrapped protectively over his wounded ribs. Levi carefully set the water down in the snow nearby, and gestured for Eren to do the same. The Corporal leaned down into the mouth of the cave and gently shook Jean's shoulder. "Oi, Kirschtein. You alive down there?"

"Nnnnnn..." Jean moaned, amber eyes blinking tiredly open. "Cap'n...sir...'m cold..."

Levi touched the back of his hand to Jean's forehead ad cheeks, wincing slightly when he felt the burning skin beneath him. Just when he started thinking that it was impossible for things to get any worse... "He's got a fever, brat," Levi said calmly, turning to meet the look of concern on his subordinate's face. "You'll need to tend to him the best you can."

"O-Okay, Captain Levi," Eren was worrying his lip as he knelt down beside Levi in order to get a better look at Jean.

Levi got to his feet and brushed the snow from his pants. "I'm going to go and gather firewood. I'll be back before nightfall, so don't worry."

"Captain Levi, sir!" Eren cried, causing Levi to stop and look over his shoulder at his subordinate "Um...what about the Titans?"

"Well, we haven't run into any so far, so who knows? Maybe this is an area that's relatively Titan-free. They're not exactly subtle, though, so I'll hear one coming long before I see it. So I'll have time to find a place to hide." Levi was clearly bluffing, and he could tell by the raw concern in Eren's eyes that the brat knew it, too. Titans were uncannily good at sniffing out humans, no matter how well-hidden. If Levi did come across a Titan, it wasn't going to be good. But what else could be done? Levi was practically helpless without Maneuver Gear. The way he figured it, though, it was better to fight, to survive, than to simply lay down and wait for death. 

"Be careful, sir," Eren said quietly. Levi could hear the worry in his subordinate's voice, but there was nothing he could say that would assuage it. So Levi simply nodded before heading off into the woods.

Eren stared after Levi's retreating figure until it was completely swallowed up amidst the trunks and branches of the trees around them. Then he turned to crouch down in the cave next to Jean. It was uncomfortable and there wasn't a lot of room to maneuver, but Eren didn't want to risk aggravating Jean's injuries by dragging him out into the snow.

"You're not gonna like this, horse-face, but I need to take a look at your injury," Eren muttered, carefully unbuckling the straps across Jean's chest. Jean moaned and weakly grabbed at Eren's wrist in a futile attempt to stop him, but Eren simply sighed and shoved the amber-eyed boy's hand out of the way. "Hold still, you'll only hurt yourself worse."

Eren rolled up Jean's shirt, causing Jean to hiss as his bare flesh was exposed to the cold air outside. The skin around Jean's ribs looked awful, mottled blue and purple with bruising. Eren touched the area as gently as he could, and let out a long breath he hadn't known he'd been holding upon confirming for himself that nothing was broken. A broken bone would take a long time to heal, and they'd all be stuck out in Titan country for a lot longer if that was the case.

"Hang on a sec," Eren muttered, pulling his knife free of its small leather pouch and sticking it into a small crevice between two rocks for safekeeping. He ducked outside in order to fill the now empty pouch with a generous handful of snow. "Brace yourself, asshole, this is gonna sting," Eren muttered, as he carefully pressed the crude icepack to Jean's bruised skin.

Jean positively _yelped_ in shock at being brought into contact with something even more cold, and he scrabbled against Eren's hands in a futile attempt to get the other boy to remove the icepack. Eren sighed in annoyance, one again pushing Jean's hands out of the way. It was lucky that the amber-eyed boy was half-delirious, or else Eren might have had to use actual force to subdue him.

"Beeeeerrrrt..." Jean moaned, tossing his head slightly. "Touch me Bert, make it better. Make the pain go awaaaayyyy."

"You're such a pain, horse-face," Eren muttered. "I'm trying to numb the area so you won't feel as much pain."

"Ugggghhhh..." Jean moaned again, giving no indication that he'd even heard what Eren was saying.

"I don't suppose you'd be willing to turn over and lie on your injured side, hm?" Eren asked dryly. Upon receiving nothing but another moan of "Beeerrrt," from Jean, Eren lost what was little patience he had left. He simply rolled Jean over onto his bruised side, effectively pinning the icepack against the other boy's injury in the process.

Jean cried out and tried to turn himself back over, but Eren held the amber-eyed boy's shoulders in place until Jean's struggles subsided. After a few moments Jean's breathing evened out, becoming slow and regular as he drifted back into sleep.

Eren let out a deep sigh of relief. He'd have to wake Jean up and get him to eat a bit later, obviously, but Eren would wait until Corporal Levi came back to do that. There was no way he wanted to deal with a conscious Jean right now, and _especially_ not when the amber-eyed boy had just been moaning about their fellow teammate. Eren hadn't known that Jean felt that way about Bertholdt before. Smirking slightly, Eren filed that little tidbit of information away to use as potential blackmail material later.

A loud growl from his own stomach reminded Eren of just how hungry he himself was. All Survey Corps members carried a few days' rations with them out into the field, but Eren was fairly certain it wasn't going to last until Jean got better. He and Levi would have to find some other food source, but Eren wasn't sure what. Any edible plants that might grow out here would have died by now, with how frigidly cold and snowy it was. Perhaps they could dig for roots or something, if they found a piece of ground that wasn't too frozen.

In order to keep himself from worrying any further, Eren dug around in the large pouch at his waist and pulled out a piece of dry, salted beef, along with a chunk of equally hard and dry bread. Field rations always tasted like shit, but Eren was so hungry that he eagerly bit into the food anyway, just to fill his stomach.

Eren ate just enough to quell the worst of his hunger pains. Although he could have eaten much more, the turquoise-eyed soldier forced himself to leave the rest of his food for later. He took a long draught of water from his canteen instead, and made himself comfortable as best he could, considering the cramped conditions. There was a scant inch of space between Eren and Jean, which Eren was doing his very best to ignore. 

Eren focused on Jean's breathing, trying hard not to think about anything. He still couldn't help wondering if Levi's squad was alright. They hadn't seen hide nor hair of any of them, which made Eren think that the Titan must have carried him, Levi, and Jean off faster than any of them could stop it. Petra, Erd, Auruo, and Gunter had probably returned to the Walls and were organizing a search party right now. There was no way in _hell_ Commander Erwin would let Levi and Eren die out here. Not Levi, Humanity's Strongest, and Eren, their Last Hope. Mikasa and Armin were probably chomping at the bit to get out there and search for Eren.

_We'll be alright,_ Eren thought firmly to himself. _I trust Captain Levi. He will not let us all die out here. Jean will get better, and we will make it back to the Walls. We're probably not even that far away from them, and it only seems like we are because of how thick the forest is out here._

He hoped desperately that getting back home would be that simple. But deep inside his heart, Eren knew that things were never that easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually did research on how to treat bruised ribs for this chapter, you guys. Let it never be said I don't take my fanfictions seriously. ;)
> 
> Willow bark has actually been used by native peoples as a natural painkiller. The bark itself used to be (and maybe still is, but don't quote me on this) a key ingredient in Aspirin.
> 
> Also, Delirious!Jean is best Jean. XD Also the most fun to write, for me at least.
> 
> (The gang will start running into Titans eventually, don't worry. The way I figure it, Levi, Eren, and Jean lucked out in one respect - they're in an area with relatively few Titans. For now).


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi and Eren go through the arduous process of starting a fire. More awkward erections are had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really wanted to get this out before Thanksgiving for all of you lovely readers. I'm not sure if I'll actually get to write over the next few days, since I'll be with relatives and all. WE'LL SEE. I shall certainly try my very best to get at least a little writing done. :)
> 
> A lot of the survival stuff in this chapter comes from watching copious amounts of "Man vs. Wild" with my sister, who thinks Bear Grylls is cute. Note that you should probably _not_ use any survival tactics you learn from Bear Grylls in a real-life situation, since a lot of his show is dramatized for TV. However, I feel that the stuff I took is innocuous enough to work in Levi, Eren, and Jean's situation. 
> 
> (Also, I promise that fever-addled Jean is going away after this chapter, and he won't go spouting off about Bertl anymore. Remember, he's sick and doesn't really know what he's saying).

It didn't take Levi long to gather enough wood for a fire. They were in a forest, after all, and there were enough sticks and branches lying around to keep Levi, Eren, and Jean warm for years. All of it was wet with snow and ice, however, which meant that actually starting the fire was going to be a real bitch. Levi still gathered as much wood as he could, however, bundling it all together with a few wires from the Maneuver Gear so that he could carry all the sticks and branches on his back. Hopefully, some of the smaller bits would dry out if they were kept in the cave overnight, away from the snow. Then perhaps Levi could start enough of a blaze to at least boil some water, so that Eren could make Jean some of that willow bark tea. The sooner that brat got better, after all, the sooner they could all get out of this miserable forest.

Just thinking about having to stay out here in the wilderness while Jean's ribs healed caused Levi's gut to constrict with anxiety. He couldn't show Eren just how on edge he was, however. Panicking in these kinds of situations only made it more likely that you would die, and the brat had very nearly been overwhelmed by panic earlier. Growing up on the streets since he could walk, however, Levi knew the importance of hiding his emotions behind a cool and collected mask, even when everything around him was going to shit. As their commanding officer, Eren and Jean were Levi's responsibility. _I can't - I won't - let them die out here, dammit. Not in a shithole place like this._

But the fact remained that Levi had no fucking idea where the hell they were. Nothing about his surroundings looked even the slightest bit familiar, and it didn't help that the woods were a monochrome black and white for as far as Levi could see. Wherever that fucking Titan had taken Levi, Eren, and Jean, it was far beyond the supply depot they had originally been heading for. Not to mention, Levi felt entirely too helpless without his 3D Maneuver Gear. It had always been a human soldier's only real defense against the Titans. Levi felt naked and vulnerable without it, despite the blade swinging from his hip. Without Maneuver Gear, getting to a high enough vantage point to try and figure out just where the hell they _were_ was going to be a real bitch. 

He hadn't seen any Titans so far, but Levi knew that things would go south when one actually appeared. In his experience, it was always _when_ , not _if_ , a Titan showed up. It was uncanny, the way the damn beasts were able to track down human prey so well. Not even Hanji had figured out how the Titans were able to do that yet. The fact remained that if a Titan showed up, the three of them would either need to find a place to hide, or if that wasn't an option, Eren would need to transform. Which was something Levi wasn't keen on ordering the brat to do, since the little information they knew about the brat's Titan-shifting abilities couldn't even fill up a thimble. A single transformation left Eren drained for at least two days afterwards, unable to do much of anything beyond eat and sleep. The last thing Levi wanted was to have to take care of _two_ brats who couldn't move.

_Not to mention,_ Levi couldn't help thinking to himself, _Eren might lose control of his transformation. If that happens...I'll have to kill him. I won't have a choice._

Levi cursed under his breath as he hefted the last bundle of sticks onto his back, turning to head back for the cave, where Eren and Jean were. He wondered when the hell he'd gotten so attached to Eren, that shitty little brat with the too-bright eyes, who burned with a level of passionate intensity that Levi had previously thought impossible to attain. The thought of killing his subordinate filled Levi with a sick, cold dread, causing the Corporal to shiver and pull the hood of his cloak up over his head. _Fuck this shit,_ he thought sourly. _I just want to go home, take a nice long bath, and sleep for the next week._

**-x-**

It was nearly dark by the time Levi returned to the cave. The forest was blanketed in a hazy purple twilight that seemed to blur the edges of the trees into fuzzy, dark shapes. The thick blanket of snow on the ground was almost glowing in the dim light that remained. Had Levi not been stuck out here, he probably would have thought it beautiful. Now all he could think was that at least he didn't need to worry about Titans at night. Just wild animals. Thrilling. 

Jean was sleeping soundly inside the cave, with Eren lying next to him. For a moment Levi thought the turquoise-eyed soldier was sleeping as well, but Eren's eyes flew open as soon as the Corporal crouched down to shift the bundles of wood off of his back. They caught the fading light and glittered like two bright, mysterious jewels. For a moment Levi and Eren didn't move, merely looked at each other. A silent message seemed to pass between the two of them at that moment, communicated solely by their eyes.

_I'm glad you're OK. I'm glad that you're safe._

"Captain," Eren said softly, quietly climbing out of the cave so as not to wake Jean, and kneeling on the snow next to Levi. Jean shifted slightly and muttered something unintelligible in his sleep, but didn't wake up. "You're back. Did you find anything out there?"

"Other than wood, no," Levi muttered. "It's just trees for as far as I can see. We'll have to figure out some way of getting to higher ground, so that we can scope out our surroundings. In the meantime, help me get these bundles of sticks into the cave. They won't do us any fucking good if they're wet, so we need to dry them out first." As he spoke, Levi lowered the first bundle down, being careful to avoid Jean's head. The cave was so tiny that it looked like Levi, Jean, and Eren were going to spend the night half-buried in sticks and twigs.

Levi's hands brushed up against Eren's, as the turquoise-eyed soldier picked up a second bundle. Even through the material of Eren's gloves, the brat felt abnormally warm. He practically radiated heat due to his Titan-shifting abilities. Privately, Levi wished he had that kind of internal heat source. Even wrapped in layers of thick clothing, he felt like he was freezing his ass off.

And that was when Levi had an idea.

"Sir?" Eren asked warily. "Why are you looking at me like that...?"

**-x-**

"Captain Levi...are you sure this will work?" Eren asked, as Levi packed the last bundle of sticks around his body. Eren currently looked like some strange kind of bright-eyed tree, with bundles of sticks packed as close to his body as Levi could possibly get them without hurting the brat. 

"Trust me, Jaeger," Levi said. "You're the warmest thing around here for miles. Whatever weird Titan ability it is that keeps you so warm, it'll dry these sticks out in no time."

"If you say so, sir..." Eren still looked doubtful, but he nevertheless stayed in place atop one of the boulders that made up part of their cave, which Levi had cleared the snow off of. He almost looked like he was growing out of it, what with all the sticks around him, like some kind of wild spirit of the forest.

Levi snorted to himself. _Spirit of the forest?_ He really was getting too poetic about the brat lately.

"Uhhhhnnnn..." Down in the cave, Jean was waking up. "Can someone help me get out of this fuckin' cave?" He called out, in a voice still thick with sleep. "I gotta pee..."

Levi sighed harshly. _Fuck my life,_ he thought. "Wait there, Jaeger. I'll go help Kirschtein take a piss."

**-x-**

Half an hour later, the wood was almost completely dry. Levi was now faced with the arduous task of having to start a fire with nothing but two rocks that he'd picked up earlier while gathering wood, and a small pile of dried pine needles for tinder. "Fucking shit!" The Corporal swore, after the sparks that formed from the rocks striking against each other failed to catch on the tinder for what felt like the millionth time.

It didn't help that Eren was crouching only a few feet away, silently looking on with those big-ass eyes of his. "Stop fucking watching me, Jaeger," Levi barked out, perhaps a bit more harshly than he'd intended. "Go in the cave with Kirschtein and wait for me there." He greatly resisted the urge to fling the rocks at the nearest tree after yet _another_ failed attempt at starting a fire. 

"Captain Levi, would you allow me to try?" Eren asked.

At this point, Levi figured that _anything_ had to be better than sitting in the cold, wet snow all night, hitting two rocks together and failing miserably at getting a spark to catch into fire. "Knock yourself out, Jaeger," Levi grumbled, tossing the two rocks to the ground in front of Eren. If the brat couldn't manage it they were going to be in for another cold, wet night on Levi's part. He didn't trust himself to sleep too close to Eren again, after how he'd felt last night.

The turquoise-eyed soldier picked up the rocks, holding one in each hand. He looked at them for a few long moments, brow furrowed in concentration. Just as Levi was about to ask his subordinate just what the hell was so fascinating about a pair of rocks, Eren readjusted his grip and struck the rocks together. They made a hard, sharp sound as they made contact with each other, and a shower of sparks fell atop the pine needles. A puff of smoke rose into the air, and Levi could see a few embers starting to catch on the dry needles.

Ignoring his immediate reaction to stare at his subordinate in amazement, Levi immediately scooped up the small pile of tinder, cradling it in both hands as he blew at the pine needles. With each harsh breath of air Levi sent over the small embers, they glowed a little brighter, and after a minute or so a small blaze had sprung up. Levi quickly dropped the now flaming tinder among the sticks he had arranged earlier. The flames caught quickly, and after ten minutes or so of Eren and Levi fanning the flames with their arms and poking at the wood with long sticks, they managed to get a decent fire going.

Levi went to get Jean's canteen, refilling it with fresh water from the stream. He handed it to Eren, who dropped a few pieces of willow bark into the canteen, along with some fresh pine needles. "For flavor," he explained, when Levi looked at him curiously.

Although the Corporal had his doubts about whether or not pine needles could be considered a "flavor," he added a few from Eren's pouch to his own canteen anyway. Eren had already surprised him once so far when he'd managed to get the fire going, perhaps the brat would do it again.

For several minutes the two of them were quiet, basking in the warm glow of the fire. To Levi the flames seemed uncannily beautiful, leaping and flickering in chaotic patterns against the night sky, occasionally throwing up a few glowing embers that were quickly lost to the wind. Just being able to warm his cold hands and feet, and to let his damp clothes dry out, felt like heaven right now. Levi could feel energy and life returning to his cold limbs by the moment. It was the best feeling in the world right now.

Levi glanced over at Eren. His subordinate seemed less comforted by the heat of the fire, probably because he'd already been so warm already. Eren was gazing intently at the dancing flames as if they held all the secrets to the universe, his brow furrowed with worry. It didn't take a genius to guess what Eren was worried about.

"That was a good job getting the fire started, Jaeger," Levi said, eager to distract the turquoise-eyed soldier from his gloomy thoughts. "How did you manage to do that, anyway?"

Eren looked up at his commanding officer, and Levi could see the bright spark in his eyes at being complimented. Really, the brat was like a puppy sometimes, the way he thrived off of the slightest praise from Levi. Thinking about it made Levi's chest feel strangely warm. "I had to start fires like that when I was a child in Shiganshina, sir," Eren explained. "The winters could get pretty bad out there, and sometimes we'd run short on matches."

Levi nodded. He'd had to start fires without matches a few times as well, living out on the streets as he had for such a long time. However, Levi had usually started a blaze in trash cans, where there was almost always a bit of grease-soaked paper or cloth to help the flame spread. Starting a fire from scratch like Eren did was impressive, and Levi told him so. "You've done well, brat."

"Thank you, sir," Eren said quietly. A light blush bloomed along his cheeks, and Eren quickly turned his gaze back to the fire, embarrassed. Levi decided against speaking further, as he didn't want to cause Eren to be uncomfortable. Instead, he turned his attention to the three canteens they had placed by the fire, the skins of which were now pleasantly warm to the touch. He would have to wake Jean up soon and get the boy to eat and drink a bit. He didn't need to be dehydrated on top of everything else, after all.

Eren, meanwhile, was now looking at his commanding officer out of the corner of his eye. He couldn't help but think that Levi looked...well, _beautiful_ was really the only word for it. Highlighted in the flickering firelight, the Corporal's eyes were like molten steel, able to crush and burn and forcefully shape the world around them into something beautiful. Although he was small, Levi's entire body was made of lean, compact muscle. The man didn't have so much as an ounce of excess fat on him. Eren found his eyes drawn upwards, to Levi's hair. He wondered if it was as soft as it looked, and the turquoise-eyed soldier found himself wanting to run his fingers through the Corporal's short, dark locks, and over the shorn part of his undercut. 

Eren's eyes moved further down, over Levi's sharp nose, the angled slope of his jaw, and down to the man's hands. Levi had taken his gloves off for the first time since they'd wound up in this forest, and was now holding them out over the fire. Eren couldn't help but admire the battle-roughened skin, the calluses on Levi's fingertips from the man's frequent use of Maneuver Gear and blades. This roughness might be a strange thing to admire for some, but for Eren it showed that Levi was a warrior, a man who had fought and killed scores of Titans in order to survive. A man who had dragged himself up from the dregs of the criminal underworld, to become Humanity's Strongest Soldier. 

He wondered what it would feel like, to have Levi's rough hands running all over his skin, running over all Eren's most sensitive places. He would moan and cry out as Levi touched him with his warrior's hands, his steel eyes cutting into Eren's soul as easily as the Corporal's blades cut open a Titan's nape. Shaping Eren into a weapon, a strong and powerful weapon that was capable of killing all the Titans, every last one...

Levi's eyes suddenly shifted over to Eren, and the turquoise-eyed soldier felt his face heat up as those steely eyes met his own. It wasn't the first time Eren had thought of his commanding officer this way - many times down in the dungeon at the old Survey Corps HQ, before this expedition, he had touched himself to his mind's image of Levi's face and body, and had come with Levi's name on his lips. But now, when they were trapped out in Titan country with a high chance of dying, when Jean was injured and sick, now was _not_ the time to be thinking about Levi like this. 

To his increasing embarrassment, Eren noticed that his pants felt awfully tight around the region of his crotch.

"Jaeger?" Levi asked, concerned. "Are you alright?"

"Fine!" Eren squeaked out, causing Levi to arch a disbelieving eyebrow at him. The turquoise-eyed soldier cleared his throat, mentally forcing himself to calm down. "I mean...I'm fine, sir," he said, in a more normal voice. "I just realized that I, erm, need to wake Jean up! He needs to eat something and drink the tea, or else he won't get better. It should be hot enough now, right?"

"Yes..." Levi said, his voice now laced with confusion.

"Great, then I'll go wake him up!" Eren practically leapt to his feet in his haste to escape the situation, going into the cave to retrieve a rather woozy and disoriented Jean. Although Levi still had no idea what it was that had caused Eren to act so strangely, he put it aside in order to deal with Jean. The amber-eyed soldier's health was more pressing than whatever strange emotional fits Eren was having. 

Eren spent the next hour fussing rather unnecessarily over Jean, holding his comrade's canteen steady while he drank, and tearing some of Jean's rations into small pieces for him to eat. "Will this make Bert love me?" Jean slurred as Eren helped him drink some of the willow tea, clearly still disoriented.

"Yeah, yeah, horse-face, just drink up," Eren muttered. "Fuck, just when I thought you couldn't get any _more_ annoying, it turns out you have some weird crush on _Bertholdt_ , of all people."

Levi smirked slightly. Eren's bedside manner left quite a lot to be desired, certainly. The Corporal lifted his own canteen to his mouth, taking a swig of the warm liquid. He made a face as soon as the "tea" hit the back o his throat. "Blech. Tastes like an animal took a shit in this," he mumbled. Eren, who was now shoving bits of jerky into Jean's mouth, didn't hear.

That night, Eren made sure that Jean's body was between his and Levi's when they went to sleep. The three of them were still huddled close together for warmth, but Eren felt that he would be less likely to get an erection when pressed up against Jean's lanky frame as opposed to Levi's lithe, muscular one. Thinking about his comrade's stupid, horsey face was also helpful, in terms of keeping Eren's dick flaccid.

Still, it took Eren a long time to fall asleep. And when he finally did manage to drift off, his dreams were filled with images of Levi's rough hands and sharp eyes, caressing Eren's body with gentle but firm touches...

**-x-**

The next morning, Eren opened his eyes to rays of harsh winter sunlight filtering down into the cave. Jean was still, unsurprisingly, fast asleep. Upon leaning over and touching his forehead, however, Eren was pleased to discover that the amber-eyed soldier's skin felt much cooler than it had yesterday. After another few days of rest, Jean would hopefully be able to walk well enough for them to head back home.

Then Eren discovered that Levi wasn't in the cave with them, and he was immediately wide awake. In the process, he banged his head on the uneven, rocky surface of the cave's ceiling. "Owww..." the turquoise-eyed soldier grumbled, rubbing at his head for a moment before crawling outside. What if something bad had happened to Levi? Had he wandered off in the middle of the night? Had a Titan eaten him? What if there were Titans outside _right now_? The Titan that had brought them here seemed to be gone now, but what if it had come back?

Eren's racing thoughts were silenced, however, when he saw Levi crouched by the ashes of their fire last night. The man was perfectly safe and sound, currently sharpening a long, thin stick into a point with his knife. For a moment, Eren was so relieved that his whole body went slack. "Good morning, sir!" He called out, exiting the cave completely. "What are you doing?"

By the Corporal's feet, Eren saw a long, flexible branch, which had been bent into a curved shape and notched at both ends. Strung between the notches was a thin wire, which he recognized as being from the 3D Maneuver Gear. _A bow?_ Eren wondered. 

Levi's sharp eyes looked up and met Eren's. "Morning Jaeger," he greeted, putting the stick he'd been working on down as he stood up. "Come with me. We're going hunting."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have a happy Thanksgiving everyone! Stay safe and eat lots of turkey. :)
> 
> HUGE thanks to everyone who leaves comments and kudos. I love all of you readers, and your kind words make me very, very happy. :D *kisses your faces*


	5. Interlude 1: Jean and Bertholdt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean reminisces about the aftermath of Trost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since there's a lot of focus on Eren and Levi in this fic, I decided to include a few shorter "interlude" chapters that will focus more on Jean's side of things. And in this one, we learn the origin of Jean's crush on everyone's favorite Colossal Titan. 
> 
> I feel like everyone is going to hate me by the time they get to the end of this chapter... e.e
> 
> Enjoy~

The days immediately following Trost had been a nightmare for Jean. The fight to regain the district had been ten times worse than Jean could ever have imagined. Not that he'd ever given much thought to what actually fighting Titans would be like, though. He and Marco were going to join the Military Police, after all. They were going to live happy, safe lives inside of Wall Sina. Together.

_Together..._

Jean had searched high and low for Marco after the fighting was done, after Eren had sealed the breach in Wall Rose and the last remaining Titans still inside the district had been dispatched. He had been certain that Marco was still alive. Marco was too good to die, too strong, too cheerful. Marco had in many ways been the emotional backbone for the boys of the 104th Trainee Squad. He was always the first to offer a congratulatory slap on the back for a job well done, or a few encouraging words of support if someone was feeling down. Whether it was a shoulder to cry on, a cheer for success, or a cool head to calm raging tempers, Marco had been there. He had always known exactly what needed to be done in any given situation.

To not have him around now was heartbreaking for Jean. Less than a week ago, he and Marco had been curled up together in his bunk, sharing kisses and talking in hushed voices about what life would be like behind Wall Sina. The two of them were going to live in the lap of luxury. Marco was excited about getting to be close to the King, of course. Jean was looking forward to the great food they would get to eat, and the warm and comfortable beds they would get to sleep in. _"Don't you ever think about anything besides food and sleep, Jean?"_ Marco had laughed. Jean had grinned as well, before leaning in to kiss his boyfriend's lips once more.

_"Yeah, I think about this one idiot and his stupid freckles a lot."_

The amber-eyed soldier had wandered the streets of Trost for hours, until it was pitch dark outside and he could barely see two feet in front of his face. Jean had yelled Marco's name until his voice gave way to a hoarse whimper. Around every bend, Jean had expected Marco to appear - tired, of course, but with his usual big smile that was reserved just for Jean. And Jean would hold Marco close, and hug him, and kiss him fiercely, and reassure him that they would never, ever have to see another Titan again. The Military Police didn't have to deal with Titans, after all. Marco's face would be the last thing Jean would see before he went to sleep at night, and he'd wake up every morning to Marco's big, sweet brown eyes and cute little freckles. Life would be perfect.

Somehow, Jean had made it back to the Trost town hall, which the army was using as their temporary base of operations. He sat in a dazed stupor until dawn, not registering much besides the dull gray stones of the floor beneath his feet. The next morning, a cold dread had settled in the pit of Jean's stomach when he saw Marco's name on the missing persons list that was nailed to the wall right next to the door. Everyone knew that if a soldier was declared missing, it really meant that they had probably been eaten by a Titan and no one had seen it. To be a missing soldier was to be as good as dead.

Jean had refused to give up, however. There was no way Marco could be dead when he'd placed in the top ten among their graduating class! Perhaps the freckled boy was lying grievously injured somewhere, pinned under the rubble of a fallen building. Jean's search took on a new kind of urgency, as his mind filled with images of Marco, lying bleeding and helpless in an alleyway, begging for Jean to come and save him. So Jean volunteered for the duties that would allow him the most opportunity to search the streets. Namely, this involved collecting the mangled, splattered corpses of the soldiers who had died in the fighting, but hadn't been eaten. It was far from a pleasant duty, but since none of the bodies were Marco's, Jean was able to manage. Once he found Marco, everything would be OK again. It had to be.

Then, Jean finally found Marco. 

The amber-eyed boy had been cleaning up after dead soldiers, as usual, only this time he was assisting a woman from one of the medical units. The woman was there to identify and make a count of the corpses. With so many dead bodies around, sickness was starting to spread throughout the district. So it was important to get everything cleaned up as soon as possible.

He was dragging a body around a corner by its ankle, planning to dump it atop a nearby pile of corpses that were going to be burned later, when he saw it. Marco, slumped against the wall of a dilapidated old house. The freckled boy hadn't been eaten by a Titan, but he was dead all the same. Behind Marco's body was a huge splatter of blood, stretching at least halfway up the wall. It had long dried into an ugly dark brown color, bits of it flaking off and getting blown away in the breeze.

The worst part, however, were Marco's eyes. They were wide open and staring straight ahead at nothing, resembling cold, glassy brown marbles more than an actual human's eyes. His mouth was set in a grim line below them, and all Jean could think was that it looked absolutely _nothing_ like Marco. Marco's eyes had always been alive, dancing and shimmering with some kind of emotion, whether happy or sad. His mouth had almost always been smiling, which made Marco's freckles stand out even more. This...this blank, expressionless corpse was _not_ Marco.

The woman from the medical unit was at Jean's side, tugging on his sleeve and asking if he knew who this person was. Jean was just barely able to choke out Marco's name in a strangled whisper, before he started running away from the cold, dead stare of his boyfriend's body. Jean wanted nothing more than to put as much distance as possible between himself and Marco's corpse. Marco, who would never laugh again, never smile again, never look at Jean with soft eyes while running his fingers through the amber-eyed boy's short, messy hair at night...

Somehow Jean made it back to the town hall, where he collapsed in the middle of an empty hallway, his breath coming out in choked sobs. Tears and snot were running down his face in messy streams. All Jean could think about was that he couldn't save Marco in time. He hadn't been strong enough or fast enough to save the person he loved most in this world. Marco had died alone, bleeding out from his wounds on a shitty battleground. Jean hadn't even been there to say good-bye.

**-x-**

Jean had no idea how long he'd simply laid there, unmoving, in that hallway. It could have been hours, or days. It didn't matter. The next thing he remembered was a hand gently shaking his shoulder. "Jean? You need to get up and have something to eat now. Everyone's worried about you."

Jean looked up and saw Bertholdt, leaning over him with a concerned expression on his thin face. He was a bit surprised that it was Bert of all people who had come to get him. The taller boy had always been pretty quiet and withdrawn. He and Jean had never really spoken much. Actually, Bert had never spoken to anyone much outside of Reiner and Annie. Yet here he was now, holding out a hand to help Jean up.

Jean batted Bertholdt's hand away. "Leave me alone," he grumbled. "Just let me stay here."

Bertholdt sighed loudly, before bending down and digging his hands in under Jean's armpits, hauling his comrade up to his feet like a sack of potatoes. Jean opened his mouth to protest this rough treatment, but Bertholdt spoke first. "You know Jean, I lost someone very close to me, when I was just a kid. My best friend. He died right in front of my eyes, and I...I couldn't save him." Bertholdt's voice went quiet, his olive green eyes filled with a pain that was similar to Jean's own. It was clear that this event was still painful for Bertholdt to talk about, even though it had happened a long time ago.

"I know how you feel, Jean," Bertholdt said quietly, pulling the amber-eyed soldier into a brief but comforting hug. "It sucks."

All Jean could do for a moment was stare. Marco's loss still hurt terribly, but Bertholdt's words had managed to make Jean feel just a tiny bit lighter. It helped to know that he was not alone in his grief. "Thank you, Bert," Jean said, his quiet voice filled with sincerity.

The corners of Bertholdt's mouth twitched upwards in a rare smile. "You're welcome. Now come on, we should get some dinner before it gets cold." He reached into the pocket of his jacket and pulled out a handkerchief. Well, it looked more like an old rag than a handkerchief, but at least it was clean. "You should clean up your face too."

Jean followed Bertholdt to the mess hall, wiping his face off as they went. And the first time since the battle for Trost, the amber-eyed soldier felt like things really _were_ going to be OK.

Ever since that day, Jean Kirschtein had harbored an embarrassing crush for Bertholdt Fubar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case it wasn't clear, the childhood friend Bert's talking about is Berik. ;)
> 
> Thank you so, so much to everyone who's left kudos and comments. You're all too kind, and I love each and every one of you.


	6. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi and Eren go hunting. There are some touchy-feely moments, and the boys continue to dance around their feelings for each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter contains a hunting scene. If you aren't OK with: descriptions of skinning and cleaning out a dead animal, descriptions of blood and guts, and descriptions of shooting an animal with a bow and arrow, this chapter isn't for you. 
> 
> That being said, I have taken liberties with the bow and arrow scene. Levi and Eren are using really crappy "arrows," since they don't have any feathers available to fletch them with. And my own experiences with archery are limited to one unit I took in gym class back in high school, which I was not very good at. I don't think anything is too unbelievable, but if anyone who knows more about archery and/or hunting has feedback for me, please let me know!
> 
> Anyway, enjoy!

"Have you ever gone hunting before, Jaeger?" Levi asked, as the two of them walked further into the woods. Eren practically jumped at the Corporal's words. He'd been feeling on edge since the two of them had set out on this little hunting trip, around an hour ago. The trees in this part of the forest grew tall and close together, their branches interweaving to create a kind of skeletal canopy across the sky. Until now, Eren and Levi hadn't spoken at all. The only sound had been the crunching of their footsteps across the snow, and the gentle rubbing of tree branches against each other in the light wind.

"No sir," Eren replied. "My family was poor, yeah, but we weren't _that_ poor. We could afford to buy food at the marketplace. Shiganshina wasn't so out of the way that we couldn't afford trips into town, after all." Eren laughed nervously, and winced almost immediately afterwards. _Idiot!_ He berated himself silently. _First I get a weird boner just from_ looking _at Captain Levi, and now I'm babbling like a total moron in front of him! Way to keep it cool, Jaeger._

"Hm," Levi muttered thoughtfully. "Well, it can't be helped, I suppose. Not very many people actually hunt wild animals for food anymore. I'll just have to teach you. If we're going to survive out here, you'll need to learn some things that the idiots in basic training probably never got around to teaching you. Kirschtein too, once he gets better."

"Of course, sir," Eren said quietly. Inwardly, his stomach was in knots. He was always slightly nervous whenever he trained with Levi, constantly striving to impress the man and worrying that he was falling short. The last thing Eren wanted was for Levi, Humanity's Strongest, to think that Eren was unfit to be in the military. Now, though, there was the added concern of getting hard in front of Levi. Although Eren had gotten himself off to thoughts of Levi touching him on several occasions, he had never actually gotten an erection when the Corporal could actually see it. Eren had trained only with Levi back at the old Survey Corps HQ, but there were always other soldiers around them, hurrying to and fro as they worked on any number of tasks. Being alone, truly alone with Levi, with not a single other person (save for Jean) around for miles, was a completely new situation. And it was more than a little terrifying for Eren.

As they went along, Eren noticed that Levi would reach up every now and again to break a low-hanging branch at a ninety-degree angle, or to tear a long strip of bark off a tree trunk, or to kick a few small rocks together into a pile. The Corporal had done the same thing yesterday as well, when he and Eren had found the stream. At the time, Eren had been worrying about finding a way home, and hadn't really focused on the Corporal's behavior. Now, however, he was curious. Was this how Levi let off aggression when he wasn't in combat? 

"Um, Captain Levi, why do you keep doing that?" Eren asked. "Breaking branches, and peeling off bark, I mean."

"I'm marking our path," Levi replied, "so that we can find our way back to the cave later. Everything in this forest looks the same, so it'd be easy to get lost if I didn't distinguish our route somehow."

"Oh," Eren was surprised. It was such a simple strategy, yet Levi had successfully used it to map their way through the forest yesterday. Eren was impressed, and more than a little bit confused as well. How exactly did Levi know how to do all of this survival stuff? Admittedly, Eren didn't know much about what Levi had done before joining the Survey Corps, aside from Petra telling him that Levi used to be a criminal. Did criminals typically know how to survive in the wilderness? Eren had no idea, but he didn't ask Levi. From the way Petra had sounded, it seemed like the Corporal didn't like to talk about his past.

Levi held up his hand for them to stop when they arrived at a small clearing. "There are tracks here," he murmured, gesturing at several sets of paw prints running through the snow at their feet. The prints were small, probably belonging to a rabbit or squirrel. Levi had been hoping for something a little bigger, but decided that it was worth sticking around to try and hunt whatever animal had come through here anyway. Eren didn't even know how to hunt in the first place, so it was probably best to practice killing a small animal instead of a big one for the brat's first time. Baby steps and all that. 

"Come on, brat," Levi said, taking Eren's arm and pulling him behind the trunk of a large tree at the edge of the clearing. "We'll wait here until something shows up."

"Sir?" Eren whispered, as the two of them crouched low behind the tree trunk. "Are you sure that whatever animal was here will come back...? I mean, what if it was just passing through here?"

Levi sighed slightly, reminding himself that Eren had grown up in a fairly urban area. Therefore, the brat had no idea that the questions he was asking were incredibly obvious. "Use your eyes, Jaeger. There're a bunch of different sets of tracks around here, which probably means that animals either live around here or have a food source nearby. Now be quiet, or you'll scare the damn things away when they show up."

They waited for what felt like hours. For Eren, who was ridiculously impatient even at the best of times, it felt like torture. Crouching in the snow and remaining quiet for long periods was definitely not his forte. At some point, Eren's legs started to ache from staying in one position for so long. When he tried to shift his position slightly in order to alleviate the discomfort, Eren slipped and fell on his butt in the snow. The turquoise-eyed soldier blushed redder than a tomato under the force of Levi's glare as he picked himself up. Levi had crouched perfectly still this entire time, and didn't look even slightly uncomfortable. Eren had no idea how the Corporal managed it - but then again, he'd also been making a concerted effort to not look too closely at Levi so far.

 _Finally,_ just as Eren was worrying that his thighs were going to give out on him, there was a slight crunching of snow, and a rabbit popped into view from out behind a thicket of dry brown underbrush. It was a good-sized rabbit, too, with soft brown fur and large, powerful haunches. Eren wondered if it would be enough for Levi, Jean, and himself to all get a meal out of tonight. The rabbit looked like it might just be big enough to manage it. 

Levi silently got to his feet, tugging Eren up along with him. The turquoise-eyed soldier felt the bow Levi had made, as well as one of the crude arrows, pressed into his hands. He tried very hard to suppress the pleasant tingles that shot down his spine at having Levi's body only a scant inch away from his own. Levi had never been this close before when the two of them had trained back at the old Survey Corps HQ. The Corporal hadn't gotten physically close to Eren at all, save to chain him to his bed in the dungeon at night, since Eren's military trial. And that closeness had been anything but sexual in nature. Last night's revelations concerning just how attracted Eren was to his commanding officer certainly weren't helping to calm his arousal, either. Eren felt a slight flush heat up his cheeks, which he desperately hoped he could blame on the cold.

Levi leaned in to whisper at Eren's ear, sending another wave of tingly shivers down the turquoise-eyed soldier's spine. "We need to move quickly, before our dinner gets away. Follow my orders _exactly,_ Jaeger. I'm going to give you a crash course in hunting with a bow.

"First, stand with your legs shoulder-width apart." Eren did so, earning a brief nod of approval from Levi. "Now move your body to the side, like so." Levi's hands moved to Eren's hips, carefully positioning Eren so that his body was angled sideways, with Eren's head still facing forward. Levi's hands felt warm through his gloves, and the taller boy couldn't help but imagine the Corporal's hands on other, more sensitive parts of his body. "Good. Keep your back straight." Levi's hand went to the small of Eren's back, causing his subordinate to straighten his posture.

"Line the arrow up like so," Levi had moved to touching Eren's hands now, guiding the turquoise-eyed soldier's fingers into the proper positions around the bowstring, gently moving the crudely sharpened end of the arrow into place. Eren kept his eyes fixed firmly on the bow, on the rabbit still burrowing about in the snow only a few feet away. _Anywhere_ but at Levi.

"Now pull the string back all the way," Levi murmured. "Keep your arm up." Gentle fingertips touched Eren's elbow, preventing his arm from slanting downwards.

"Be sure to aim properly, Jaeger. Take the time to line up the shot; you aren't getting another one." Eren focused all of his attention on the rabbit, lining the arrow up so that the point aimed right at the creature's side. He felt surrounded by Levi, close enough to feel the heat of the Corporal's skin against his own body. Eren could practically feel Levi's breath against him. Levi's fingers were still pressed against Eren's body, keeping his elbow and hip in the proper position. And Eren couldn't help but think, deep down, this was what he _wanted._ For the Corporal, whom Eren felt was much stronger than he was, to mold him into a weapon. Into a fighter worthy of saving humanity, of avenging all those who had already been lost, who would still be lost in the never-ending fight against the Titans...

It was with these thoughts racing through his mind that Eren let the arrow fly. For a moment, it seemed the only sound in the entire forest was the high-pitched _whoosh_ the projectile made as it sped away from the bow.

There was a loud squeal from the rabbit as the arrow made contact. It struck hard and deep, driving into the flesh just above the animal's haunch. A spray of blood shot up from the wound as the animal collapsed on its side, emitting loud cries as it flailed its limbs about in the snow.

"Excellent shot, Jaeger," Levi said, clapping Eren on the shoulder as he quickly moved forward, striding across the clearing to the wounded rabbit. For a moment, Eren just stood there, unmoving, staring after the Corporal's retreating form. The sudden absence of Levi from his side, after he had been so close for those last few moments, felt a bit like a splash of cold water to the face.

"Well? Aren't you coming?" Levi called over his shoulder. Eren shook his head slightly to clear it, and hurried after him.

Cleaning the rabbit took some time. Levi insisted that they clean the animal right then and there, instead of back at the cave. "Cleaning an animal is messy business. As long as we're sleeping in that cave, I don't want any blood and guts around. That's disgusting," he'd said. So Eren had knelt alongside Levi in the snow and watched as the Corporal used his knife to slice the rabbit's belly open with nearly surgical precision. A few more quick, graceful cuts, and the animal's skin was lying beside it in a bloody little pile. 

Blood and guts were pooling out of the animal's corpse, staining the snow beneath a garish crimson. Looking at it made Eren feel a little ill, but any potential nausea was trumped by the turquoise-eyed soldier's determination to not fuck up in front of Levi. Following the Corporal's instructions, Eren removed his gloves and cloak and rolled up the sleeves of his short jacket, grimacing as the cold air bit against his bare skin. Then Eren was wrist-deep inside the carcass alongside Levi, helping the Corporal to remove the rabbit's internal organs.

The sun was past its peak by the time Levi and Eren finished cleaning the last of the guts from the rabbit. Levi carefully packed the meat and skin into one of the 3D Maneuver Gear pieces that he was using as a makeshift container. The Corporal couldn't help but make a face at just how damn _messy_ everything was, and especially cleaning out the damn rabbit. Levi bent down to wash his hands in the snow as best he could, giving Eren a sharp look in order to make sure that his subordinate did the same. He'd be damned if the brat went around the rest of the day with bloodstained hands.

Levi was trying very hard not to think about how dirty he was getting out here. Not being able to bathe for a few days at a time was something he put up with, seeing as how the Survey Corps spent extended periods of time outside the Walls on expeditions. Usually Levi at least had a change of clothes with him on expeditions, but in this case his spare clothes had been strapped to the back of his horse, which was long gone now. Levi let out a few choice curses under his breath at the thought. He supposed that at some point they'd all have to wash their clothes and bathe in the stream. The water would be frigid and highly unpleasant, but if the three of them had a fire going nearby and were only in the water for a short period, it would probably be alright.

However, Levi had a more pressing problem at the moment than just getting dirty. Namely, Eren. The brat had been completely focused on Levi all day. The Corporal hadn't missed the way Eren had been sneaking peeks at him as they walked, out of the corner of his eye when he thought Levi wasn't looking. The brat's body had been extremely tense all day long - it was clear in the jumpiness of Eren's movements. Levi had become a master at reading body language after his years of living on the streets. He had to be, or else he would have been shot by some rival thug carrying a hidden gun years ago. 

Not to mention the way Eren had reacted when Levi had touched him earlier, in order to get him into the correct position for taking a shot at the rabbit. The brat had gone stiff as a board the moment Levi had laid a hand on him, his breathing rough and uneven. If Levi was going to be completely honest with himself, it had actually been a little arousing, to make Eren react like that to his touch. Levi hadn't been able to help getting just a bit closer to his subordinate than he had to in order to teach Eren how to fire a bow.

The problem with all of this was that it appeared Eren was attracted to him. Levi had suspected this before they had left on the mission. The brat had always seemed a bit too focused on Levi for his feelings to be simple hero worship. However, Levi had chosen not to talk to Eren about it. In part, it was because their days had been full of training, and preparing for Eren's first expedition outside the Walls. And of course Hanji had always been dragging the brat off for some experiment or another. There hadn't been time for romantic liaisons.

More importantly, it was because Levi didn't want to hurt Eren. The two of them were both highly important assets to the Survey Corps and to humanity in general, after all. As such, they had both seen more than their share of battle, and were likely to see even more in the time to come. The odds that one of them would get killed in battle were quite high, though Levi didn't like to think on it. He didn't _want_ to die, of course, but the Corporal had seen many talented and battle-savvy soldiers who also didn't want to die fall shrieking and screaming down the gullet of a Titan all the same. After seeing as many soldiers die as Levi had, he knew that he had to face the sobering facts of his own mortality.

And of the two of them, Levi was the one who was more likely to die. Compared to Eren's Titan form, even Humanity's Strongest was just a frail, human man flinging himself at creatures that were tens or even hundreds of times his height. Levi didn't have the added benefit of being able to regenerate, either. If Levi died, his death would be hard enough on Eren even if they _weren't_ romantically involved. If the two of them were lovers, it would only be that much worse on the brat. It was for this reason that the Corporal hadn't taken any lovers since his first expedition with the Survey Corps. The last thing Levi wanted to do was cause Eren that much pain. Not only because the brat was perhaps humanity's last hope for survival against the Titans, but because Levi cared for Eren - perhaps a bit more than a commanding officer should about his subordinate.

Eren was young, with his whole life ahead of him. He didn't deserve to be out in the field fighting Titans day in and day out. Nobody did. Eren deserved to meet someone truly special, settle down, and have a family. The last thing Levi wanted was to chain Eren down with himself - a hardened street thug-turned-soldier who was pushing thirty. So for Eren's sake, he would keep their relationship firmly between that of commanding officer and subordinate, nothing more. It would save them both a lot of heartache in the future.

**-x-**

They arrived back at the cave just as the sun was starting to dip below the trees, painting the snow beneath a sort of pale, shimmering orange color. Jean was sitting atop the roof of their cave, huddled up in his green woolen cloak with a rather grumpy expression. When Levi and Eren emerged from the forest, Jean greeted them with a glare. "You know, you could have _told_ me you were leaving!" He yelled. "I thought you guys had been eaten by wolves or something! Er...no offense meant, sir," the amber-eyed soldier hastily tacked on at the end, remembering that one of the people he was speaking to was his rather intimidating commanding officer.

Levi looked surprised, and quickly turned around to narrow his eyes at Eren. Clearly, the brat had neglected to tell Jean that they were leaving to go hunting. Said brat was currently staring at his boots as if they were the most fascinating thing in the world. 

"I apologize, Kirschtein," Levi said, turning back to Jean, whose mouth dropped open in surprise. Humanity's Strongest, actually _apologizing_ for something?! Jean hadn't thought that Levi was the type of person who apologized for _anything._ Rumors about the legendary Lance Corporal spread throughout the newest Survey Corps recruits like wildfire, the most scandalous being that he was a sadist who engaged in BDSM orgies with the most expensive prostitutes from Sina on a nightly basis. Apparently, these rumors were all more wrong than Jean had originally suspected.

"Are you alright?" Levi asked. "Why didn't you stay in the cave; you would have been warmer that way."

"I...um...I don't know..." Jean muttered, an embarrassed flush suffusing his face. "I was nervous, I guess...I thought you and Eren were dead, sir..." 

"Jaeger," Levi said in a voice of unnatural calm, now glaring at his subordinate. "Why didn't you tell Kirschtein we were leaving camp?"

"W-well, I mean...he was sleeping, sir, and I didn't want to wake him - " Eren replied sheepishly, still not looking Levi in the eye.

"Jaeger, I am your commanding officer and as such, you need to _look at me_ when I am asking you a _direct question._ "

Eren's eyes hesitantly lifted to meet Levi's steely gray ones. The Corporal looked angry, of course, but beneath that anger Eren could see something else in Levi's face. Worry. Levi had obviously been concerned for Jean's well-being. Eren's eyes widened as the full impact of what could have happened to Jean while they were gone finally hit him. Jean could have left the cave to go look for them, and gotten lost. Or a Titan could have come along and eaten him. Or wolves, or even bears. Eren had no idea what kind of horrible things could have happened to his comrade. At least Jean had the sense to stay put when he was injured. Eren couldn't really say the same about himself.

Eren had clearly fucked up, big time. "I'm sorry, sir!" He said, in the most formal and respectful voice he could manage. "Jean was asleep, and I thought it was best that he get his rest. I didn't want to wake him up and disturb him. I see now that I should have, and I apologize for my mistake, Captain Levi and Private Kirschtein!"

Levi's angry, worried look softened. "Alright, brat," he said quietly, "that's good enough. In the future, though, remember that Jean is your comrade. As members of the Survey Corps, we are all responsible for each others' safety and well-being."

Jean snickered slightly. "I dunno, I kind of preferred 'Private Kirschtein' to 'horse-faced asshole,' though. Maybe you should screw up more often, Eren."

Eren glared at the amber-eyed soldier, and opened his mouth to retort. Levi swiftly stepped in - the last thing he wanted was for his two idiot subordinates to start fighting. "That's enough out of you two. Let's eat dinner and try to relax, we've all had an extremely stressful last few days."

"You've got food!?" Jean asked, clearly excited to eat something other than his dwindling supply of military rations. The amber-eyed soldier frowned slightly as Levi lifted up the metal container filled with bloody meat. A few drips of dark blood were starting to ooze slowly down the side. "Eurgh..." Jean wrinkled his nose at the carcass. "Are you sure that's safe to eat, sir?" He asked hesitantly.

"It will be after we wash and cook it, yes," Levi answered. "I'll head to the stream to get some more water. Jaeger, you and Kirschtein stay here get a fire going."

**-x-**

A little over an hour later, the sun had gone down completely. Levi, Eren, and Jean, however, were comfortably seated inside the warm circle of light created by their fire. The air around them was thick with the rich scent of roast game. After washing the meat in fresh water Eren had brought from the stream, the rabbit had cooked up beautifully. The cooking was helped along by a spit Eren and Jean had managed to rig up out of branches, amidst several mutters of "horse-face" and "suicidal moron." Levi had cut it into three generous pieces, two of which Eren and Jean were now eagerly devouring. Levi tried not to look at the grease that stained the two boys' mouths, and occasionally dripped down onto their uniforms. The Corporal was eating his rabbit much more carefully, slicing off bite-sized chunks that he could eat without getting messy grease everywhere. Eren and Jean must have been raised in pigpens, with the messy way they ate. Didn't they know what a bitch it was to wash grease stains out of clothes?

Eren's eye caught Levi's by accident, and stopped mid-bite upon seeing the way Levi was frowning at his short leather jacket. Eren silently swore as he saw that he'd dripped rabbit grease all down his front. There wasn't much he could do about it now, though, not without access to soap. The turquoise-eyed soldier wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, however, and took smaller bites of his food. Sneaking another peak at Levi a few minutes later, Eren saw that the shorter man's frown had lessened somewhat. It made Eren feel warm inside, a kind of warmth that had nothing to do with the fire or the hot meal he was currently eating.

It was surprising, how good just a warm fire and a hot meal could make a person feel. It was a bit like being out on a long wilderness training session, back when Eren and Jean had still been in basic training. For once, Eren and Jean stopped arguing, and reminisced over stories from their basic training days. _"Do you remember when Sasha stole that whole sack of apples from the kitchens?" "Yeah, and do you remember that time Christa organized a sleepover in the girls' barracks, and all the girls came down to breakfast the next morning with braided hair?"_

Levi smiled slightly as he listened to Eren and Jean talk. Despite their dire situation, it was really nice to just spend an evening around the fire like this. It was rare enough for soldiers to be this relaxed even within the Walls. No matter what happened afterwards, for this one brief moment, Levi had hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who left comments and kudos! You're all lovely, wonderful people~
> 
> Unfortunately, the next chapter might be a bit late. Next week I have a final and an essay due, so I'm going to be pretty busy with all of that. I procrastinated enough just writing this chapter. xD Please bear with me! After next week, I'll have a whole semester free until grad school start up. So I will have plenty of time to write then :)


	7. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi teaches Eren and Jean how to survive in the wilderness, and they all finally take a bath. Levi, Eren, and Jean set out to return to the safety of the Walls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just barely avoided making it a month between updating this fic by three days. Victory is mine...? 
> 
> While I have tried my best to make the survival tactics the characters use as realistic as possible, I have taken some liberties for ease of storytelling. I would not recommend actually trying any of the tactics I have described in this chapter in an actual emergency situation.
> 
> WARNING: There is another brief scene where Levi kills a wild animal, though not nearly as in-depth as last chapter. So slight gore, I guess? Just thought I'd give you guys a heads-up.

Surprisingly, the next few weeks went quite smoothly for Levi, Eren, and Jean. They hadn't seen or heard a single Titan so far, which was nothing short of a miracle, considering that Survey Corps expeditions usually attracted the monsters in droves. Of course, it didn't stop the three of them from remaining on edge; and Levi most of all. The slightest unexpected noise - the sound of a breaking branch, or a sudden breeze through the treetops, for example - would cause the Corporal's hands to fly to the blades at his sides. They would be utterly useless against a Titan without 3D Maneuver Gear, of course. It wasn't like slashing at a Titan's ankles was going to kill one, unfortunately. Levi had been outside the Walls too many times for him to hope that a Titan just wouldn't show up.

Levi ruminated over this question in his mind at night, after the brats had fallen asleep. _Why hadn't they run into any Titans so far?_ The only theory he could come up with was that three people, alone in a large forest, were less of a draw to Titans than the hundred-plus soldiers that made up an expedition. The three of them weren't barreling across the countryside on noisy horses, either, which probably helped. For perhaps the first time in his life, Levi wished that Hanji was there for him to talk about Titans with. It was probably a sign that he was going crazy. 

On the bright side, however, Jean was getting stronger every day. Thankfully the amber-eyed soldier was now able to piss unaided, for which Levi was extremely grateful. Jean and Eren still bickered, of course, but Levi couldn't help noticing that the insults the two soldiers threw back and forth were less caustic and angry than before. Levi thought that the muttered insults of "horseface" and "asshole" sounded almost _fond_ sometimes. Perhaps Jean had realized that it was thanks in part to Eren's doctoring that he wasn't dead right now. It seemed that the two might be approaching something close to a healthy camaraderie - or at least, as close to a healthy one as people like Jean and Eren were ever going to get.

Levi was now dedicating his time to teaching Eren and Jean how to survive in the wilderness. There was a lot to do, after all, in terms of getting enough food and water and fuel for them to stay alive. He would never be able to do all of it alone, so it Eren and Jean would have to help. Levi had another reason for teaching the young soldiers as well, but one that he refused to let rise from the shadowy corners of his mind where it lurked. If something should happen to him out here - if, for some reason, he wasn't able to protect Eren and Jean anymore - the two of them needed to know how to survive. Levi needed to keep the promise he'd made Eren on their first full day out here, that he would make sure they all made it back to the Walls safely. And the Corporal would do so by any means within his power.

However, teaching Eren and Jean was not an easy task. Levi was starting to wonder if the two of them had rocks in their heads instead of brains. The Corporal was starting to feel deeply sorry for Shadis. The poor bastard had to teach these brats for months during basic training, and Levi felt frustrated enough to pull his hair out after only about a week. 

For example, one morning the Corporal taught Eren and Jean how to make simple traps in order to catch small wild animals, such as squirrels or birds. "Doing this saves you the energy of trekking around the forest for miles looking for things to shoot with a bow," Levi explained. "Setting traps allows for the prey to come to you." 

By now, the three of them (or rather, just Levi) had managed to bring down a few more animals, including a small deer. They were having meat for dinner at least twice a week, and it felt like heaven to Eren and Jean. More importantly, though, were the skins, sinews, and furs that Levi painstakingly dried by the fire each night, wrapping them carefully in blankets of dry pine needles and leaves during the day in order to protect them from the cold and wet. These materials were vital for crafting tools and such for survival, according to Levi. Right now, the Corporal was demonstrating how to weave simple nooses out of dried sinew and small, flexible branches. These nooses would then be attached to stout branches in the underbrush, a little ways from their cave. "The way these traps work is, you put a bit of food nearby," Levi explained, "and some curious little fucker comes along to eat it. Then the animal's leg will trip the noose as it moves, causing the noose to tighten around the animal's leg so it can't get away."

After about an hour of intense concentration, Eren and Jean were finally able to tie nooses that didn't break apart in a stiff breeze. Levi started to lose patience with them in about half that time. "Kirschtein, were you born with paws instead of hands? A three year-old could tie a better knot than that miserable fucking tangle you've got. And congratu-fucking-lations, Jaeger, you've managed to break _another_ sinew. That shit isn't exactly easy to dry, brat."

Once the two soldiers had managed to create traps that Levi deemed acceptable, he sent the two of them off to gather water while he got the fire going. By the time Eren and Jean returned, toting containers full of water and bitching at each other every step of the way, at least another hour had gone by and Levi deemed it time to go and check on the traps. 

They came across the trap Levi had set first, which had managed to catch a crow. The animal was hopping about and cawing furiously, trying in vain to dislodge the noose that had tightened around its leg. Levi knelt down next to the bird and drew his knife across its breast. The animal let out one last choked, panicky _caw-caw,_ and there was a splatter of bright crimson across the snow. Then Levi was standing, holding the dead crow by its legs. "Now let's see if the traps the two of you made have anything for us," he said.

Eren's trap was less successful. The noose, which had snapped in two, was lying forlornly in the ground next to several sets of animal tracks. The food he had left as bait was, obviously, long gone by now. Upon seeing his mess of a trap, Eren;s face flushed and he started stammering out apologies to Levi while glaring at Jean, who was snickering under his breath. Levi sighed harshly and held up a hand to stop the brat's chatter. "Let's just go look at Kirschtein's trap," he said.

At first, it looked like Jean's trap had been successful. The noose had tightened around a small, dark shape that was lying motionless in the snow. "All right! I did it!" The amber-eyed soldier whooped, rushing ahead to see what his trap had caught. 

"So what'd you get, horseface?" Eren sniped, as he and Levi came up behind the amber-eyed soldier. Jean, who had been kneeling in the snow in order to see what kind of animal he'd caught, had gone motionless.

"Oi, Kirschtein. Your ribs bothering you?" Levi placed a hand on Jean's shoulder. Jean jerked slightly at the touch, then slowly got to his feet and turned around. In his hand was the noose of his trap, which had tightened around...a pinecone. Clearly, it had fallen from a nearby tree and somehow set the trap off. Animal prints were scattered around the spot where Jean had left his bait, which was also gone.

Eren immediately burst out laughing. "So...so are we going to be eating that for dinner tonight, horseface?!" He gasped, clutching his stomach as tears of mirth escaped his turquoise eyes.

Jean glowered, wearing the same sulky expression that a small child whose toy had just been broken might. "Shut up, asshole! It's not like you caught anything, either!"

"Better I catch nothing than a stupid pinecone!" Eren retorted between chuckles.

Levi somehow resisted the urge to start banging his head against the nearest tree. He settled instead for snapping at the two soldiers. "Shut the fuck up and let's go back to camp. If I hear another word out of either of you on the way back, you'll be eating the rest of your military rations for dinner tonight instead of this crow."

**-x-**

Despite the cold outside, Levi desperately wanted to take a bath and wash everyone's clothes. The uncomfortable fact that this was probably the longest he'd gone without bathing and clean clothes in his entire life weighed heavily on his mind. Especially now that sleeping in the cave with Eren and Jean was starting to smell less than ideal. Unfortunately, however, it was still too cold to spend any length of time without clothes on, even if the three of them did stand close to the fire. Not to mention the potential dangers - a Titan catching Levi, Eren, and Jean in their birthday suits would be an absolute nightmare. 

There was only one solution that Levi could see, and he didn't much like it. He was going to have to teach the two idiots how to sew. 

So the next morning, the Corporal set Eren and Jean up with a few skins and furs, some thin strips of animal sinew for thread, and slivers of bone for needles. He patiently demonstrated a few stitches for the two soldiers, going over each one three times each in order to make sure that Eren and Jean understood how to do them. Then Levi braced himself for the worst.

Surprisingly enough, the two of them didn't completely suck at making clothes. Sure, Eren pricked his finger a million times with the needle, and spent a good deal of time sucking the digit free of blood while thin, wispy curls of smoke rose from his quickly healing skin. And yes, the crude deerskin robe Jean created had four extra arm-holes, but at least that was fixable. All in all, Levi considered the sewing lesson a success. By mid-afternoon, the three of them had crafted suitable robes and hats out of skins and furs, with enough left over to wrap around their hands and feet in place of boots and gloves. 

It was a sad, sad day, Levi thought, when he felt cleaner wearing some freshly-dead animal skins than his own uniform. "Alright, you two," he said. "We're going to the river and taking a damn bath. Bring your uniforms, we'll clean those too."

There weren't any arguments. Both Eren and Jean realized that they and their clothes were filthy, after all. Neither of them were particularly looking forward to hopping into a freezing cold river, but they both disliked going without bathing for over a week even more. Besides, it wasn't a big deal for Eren to be naked around Jean, and vice-versa. Years of communal showering in the training barracks had long since erased those concerns from the two young soldiers. 

The Corporal, however, was a totally different story. Levi had always bathed separately from everyone else. In the former Survey Corps HQ, where he and Eren had been staying right up until this disaster of a mission, there had been few enough soldiers around for Levi to get away with having his own private bath. So Eren had never seen Levi naked before. And now here the Corporal was, removing his uniform piece by piece and cursing like a sailor as the cold bit uncomfortably into his skin. _Holy mother of Maria,_ Eren couldn't help thinking to himself. _He's built. Really fucking built._

The Corporal's body looked almost like one of the carved marble statues of men Eren had seen once, a long time ago, during a school field trip to an art museum in Rose. He looked to be made entirely of lithe muscle, with perfectly sculpted abs and smooth, pale skin. Levi's dark hair and eyes contrasted perfectly against the rest of his body, drawing attention to his sharp jaw and strong neck. Eren surreptitiously checked the corner of his mouth to make sure he wasn't drooling.

"All right, you two," Levi said, as he finished folding his uniform into a neat pile next to his boots. "Let's get in the water before we freeze our asses off out here." Without any further ado, the Corporal walked to the edge of a large, flat rock nearby, which jutted out over the riverbed. He took a deep breath and jumped in, submerging his entire body in the cold water at once.

"AGH! FUCKING SHIT THAT'S COLD!" Levi hollered. "FUCKING HELL I THINK MY BALLS JUST FROZE OFF!"

Eren's forehead furrowed in concern. The Corporal had never _hollered_ before, to his knowledge. Levi barked, lectured, and occasionally shouted out orders if the surroundings were particularly noisy, but never before had Levi sounded quite so...emotional. "Sir?!" The turquoise-eyed soldier cried, hurrying to the edge of the riverbank. "Sir, are you alright?" 

Behind Eren, Jean was eyeing the river nervously. "I knew this was a bad idea," he muttered.

With a slight splash, Levi's lithe body came swimming up to the edge of the riverbank. "I'm f-fine, Jaeger," he muttered through chattering teeth. "Now g-get your ass in this r-river; y-you need to get cl-clean as well."

Eren stared into the river below him. The fresh, clear water would have looked inviting on a warm summer's day. Not so much in the middle of winter, when everything was blanketed in a layer of snow and ice. Nervously, Eren stuck out his foot and dipped his toe in, positively yelping when he felt how cold it was against his skin. The water almost _burned._ "Um...Captain, if you could just give me a minute to adjust to the water - "

Eren's excuses were cut off with another abrupt yelp when Levi's arm reached out from the water, latched around Eren's ankle, and pulled him in. For one brief, horrible second Eren's entire body was submerged below the water, Levi's body above merely a blurry, shimmering outline. Then Eren's legs kicked out, his toes brushing the smooth pebbles of the riverbed as he propelled himself upwards. With a loud gasp, the turquoise-eyed soldier surfaced, and shook his wet hair out of his face.

"Sir, with all due respect," Eren choked out, still feeling shocked from his sudden contact with extremely cold water. "What the _hell_ did you do that for?!"

Eren blinked his eyes open and came face to face with Levi, who was treading water just a scant inch away. "I needed to get you in the water somehow, brat," the Corporal said. "The way you were pussyfooting around, you would have maybe gotten half your leg in by the time the sun went down." 

The turquoise-eyed soldier merely nodded, transfixed by how close he was to Levi. He watched as drops of water dripped from Levi's hair to run down his chest. If Eren leaned forward just an inch, in fact, he could kiss the Corporal's lips...

His face suddenly burning, Eren whirled around and swam quickly over to the opposite bank. "Jaeger, what the fuck are you doing?" Levi cried after him.

"Excuse me, sir!" Eren replied, suddenly glad for the cold water against his face, which was probably red as a cherry right now. "I'm absolutely filthy! I - I need to get clean right away!" Eren dunked his head under the water briefly to scrub viciously at his mop of brown hair. 

Levi sighed deeply. Teenagers were strange creatures indeed. "Alright Kirschtein," he said, turning his attention to Jean. "Get in the water before I have to drag your scrawny ass in."

It was times like this when Jean seriously wondered why he hadn't just joined the Military Police. Hell, even the Garrison probably had access to warm showers.

**-x-**

Now out of the river, after what had to be the most miserable bath he'd ever taken in his entire life, Jean was scrubbing his cloak clean in the river water next to Eren. A little ways downstream, Levi was washing his pants with a furor, as if the item of clothing had personally wronged him at some point. The three of them looked like primitive cavemen, wrapped in their animal furs, but at least Jean was warm. 

"Dude, what the hell's up with you and Captain Levi?" Jean muttered, so that only Eren would be able to hear.

Eren startled at the mention of the Corporal's name, and very nearly dropped the jacket he was washing into the river. Jean stifled a laugh against his hand, and Eren glared at him.

"I don't know what you're talking about, horseface," he said, trying to sound nonchalant and failing miserably. "Captain Levi's my commanding officer. I'm grateful to him for saving my life, and I admire his skills as a soldier. That's it."

Jean snorted. "Yeah, whatever. So the reason you went red as a tomato when he took his clothes off is because you were thinking about how good Levi is at killing Titans. Riiiiight."

"Shut _up_ ," Eren snapped, his cheeks coloring pink. "I wasn't wearing any clothes, and in case you hadn't noticed, it's really freaking cold out here! So excuse me if my skin turns a little red, dumbass."

"And I guess that's why you turn into a blushing girl every time you get close to him. I thought you were gonna faint in the river earlier." Jean adopted a high-pitched falsetto: _"Oh, Captain Levi, I need to wash my hair before you look upon me!"_

"Shut the fuck up, Kirschtein, or I'll throw you into the river!" Eren shouted, making to get to his feet as he raised a fist. 

"Knock it the fuck off, you two, or you'll both be back in the river!" Levi barked. Eren sat back on his haunches, glaring murderously at Jean.

"Calm _down,_ moron, I'm not gonna tell him," Jean hissed. "He'd probably take my head off for wasting his time, anyway. We're kinda trapped in the middle of nowhere right now, and Titans could show up at any time. So I'm sure the Captain has better shit to worry about than his subordinate's stupid crush."

Eren opened his mouth to retort, but Jean kept talking. "All I'm saying is, try to get your dumb hormones under control, Princess. Cause if I can pick up on the fact that you've got the hots for Levi, I'm sure he can too."

**-x-**

Levi guessed it was around two weeks after the Titan had landed the three of them in the forest when Jean could finally stretch his entire body without any pain. It was hard to keep track of time out in the forest, without any calendars or timepieces. Out here, the only time that really mattered was when the sun rose and set. But now that Jean was finally well enough, the three of them could start their journey back to the Walls. And Levi would never have to spend another night sleeping practically on top of Eren and Jean in that dirty, cramped cave ever again. Jean talked in his sleep, and Eren was...distracting.

The first thing Levi did was have Jean climb a tree, in order to better observe their surroundings. Unfortunately, the only tree around that looked sturdy enough to support Jean's weight had branches that started around halfway up its trunk. Eren basically had to stand on top of Levi in order to boost Jean high enough up to reach the lowest bough. 

"Um, sir, not to disregard your authority or anything..." Jean said nervously, as he balanced precariously atop Eren's shoulders, "but maybe Eren should be the one to do this? I mean, I just got over an injury and all..."

"You're the tallest here, Kirschtein, so you'll be able to get the best view," Levi explained, from his position anchoring Eren's feet. "Just get up there and see if you can spot the Walls."

"O-Okay, sir - hey! Eren, stop wobbling around like that! You're gonna drop me, asshole!"

"Stop yelling at me and focus on reaching that branch! I can't support your fat ass for much longer!" Eren snapped back.

"Oi! I'm the one who has to hold up both of you little shits, so quit your bickering up there!" Levi shouted.

"Urgh..." Jean grunted, digging his heels into Eren's shoulders as he stretched up. "Just...a little more...hang on...got it!" Jean yelled triumphantly, clasping his hands tightly around the branch. Levi and Eren collapsed at the base of the tree, both breathing heavy sighs of relief as Jean began to climb up.

"Go slowly, Kirschtein!" Levi shouted up at Jean. "It won't be good for any of us if you hurt yourself again."

"Yes, sir!" Jean's voice echoed down. Climbing the tree was slow going, as each bough was slippery with snow and ice. Little showers of snow fell each time Jean moved to a new branch. Still, it felt good to finally be able to exert his body painlessly. The amber-eyed soldier couldn't help smiling a little as his body moved upwards, towards the bright afternoon sun shining overhead.

Finally, Jean's head poked out past a bunch of twigs to look over the surrounding landscape. The first thought he had was that from this point of view, the forest was truly beautiful. The sky above was a bright azure, the sun lighting up the snow-covered trees below so that they looked encrusted in shimmering white jewels. A lone bird flew by overhead, making lazy circles in the air.

The next thought Jean had was that they were all in some deep fucking shit.

"Are you at the top yet?" He could hear Levi's voice from down below. "What do you see?"

Jean swallowed hard before shouting back. "Nothing but trees, Captain! I can see some mountains in the distance...but the forest seems to go on all the way to their slopes..." He squinted against the bright sunlight. Had there been something moving among the trees?

"Do you see the Walls at all!?" It was Eren was shouting this time, with a note of anxiety in his voice. 

"Hang on, I think I see something moving!" Jean shouted back. His throat suddenly felt like sandpaper, and his belly was on fire with nerves. But he had to make sure. Jean put a hand up to shade his eyes...and watched in horror as a great flesh-colored shape straightened itself up. It was at least a head taller than the surrounding pines, with a head of hair the same blinding white as the snow around it.

The monster's head whipped towards Jean, and the amber-eyed soldier could have sworn that it locked eyes with him for one terrifying moment. It roared loud enough to cause the surrounding trees to tremble, startling a nearby flock of birds into flight.

Down below, Levi was on his feet instantly. He drew his swords, trying to gain some small comfort from at least holding a weapon. Next to the Corporal, Eren had gone white as a sheet, his face contorted into an almost inhuman snarl as great footsteps sounded in the distance. The branches of the nearby trees rustled ominously.

It was Jean who gave voice to what they were all thinking, to what was their biggest fear. To what had been their biggest fear for years. Since Maria. Since Trost. 

"TITAN!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DUN DUN DUUUUNNNN! Sorry not sorry.
> 
> I am honestly shocked and humbled by all the positive reception this fic has been getting. uvu You guys are all incredibly sweet, oh my gosh~ All these lovely comments and kudos make me blush and squee like an idiot. *_*
> 
> *hides in the corner* I promise it'll be less than a month between updates this time.
> 
> (Is it just me or did this chapter have a ton of swear words in it holy shit Levi control your mouth around the children)


	8. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi, Eren, and Jean have a run-in with a Titan, and find sanctuary in a relic of the past. Eren learns a bit more about his reserved superior officer's feelings towards him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little background info is necessary before this chapter: I have this odd headcanon that Titans first appeared during the modern era. When humanity was unable to defeat them and retreated behind the Walls, they reverted back to living with Middle Ages-style technology due to limited resources and space. Eventually, due to the passage of time and the decree against talking about the outside world, people forgot about the wonders of modern technology.
> 
> Obviously this isn't strictly SnK canon, but I just like incorporating my headcanons into fics. ;) Besides, I've always wondered how the Survey Corps would react if they ran into old relics of humanity before the Titans came. One of these days I may have to write a fic exploring that topic a bit more...
> 
> Anyways, I've rambled enough. Enjoy!

Jean practically fell out of the tree in his haste to get down. Somehow, he was able to catch himself against the tree trunk every time his foot slipped on a branch. It helped that the bark was rough, providing Jean with plenty of handholds. Unfortunately, the last bough was quite a few feet above the ground. Jean didn't think he would be able to jump down without injuring himself, which was something he wasn't keen on doing, considering that he'd just recently gotten over an injury.

"Jump, Kirschtein!" He heard Captain Levi shout up at him. "I'll catch you, just jump down!"

Jean eyed the Corporal nervously. From ten feet off the ground, Levi looked even smaller than usual, and Jean was uncomfortably reminded of the fact that he was a good four or five inches taller than his superior officer. He couldn't help wondering if Levi would even be able to catch him. _And what if I accidentally squash the Captain!?_

" _Jump,_ you idiot!" Levi's tone had become more annoyed now. Meanwhile, the expression on Eren's face was reminiscent of a feral animal. It would have been frightening, if Jean hadn't already seen it a hundred times during basic training. It was the expression Eren always wore when the topic of fighting Titans came up.

_Oh, what the hell,_ Jean thought. _Dying because Captain Levi didn't catch me after I jumped out of a tree is probably a less painful way to go than getting eaten by a Titan would be._ And with that, he jumped.

"Oof!" All the air went out of Levi's body as Jean impacted against it. The Corporal wrapped his arms firmly around the younger soldier's body, and they both toppled backwards into the snow. "Fuck, Kirschtein, you're heavy!"

" _Jean,_ you idiot!" Eren yelled. "There's a Titan coming this way _right now,_ and you're crushing Captain Levi!"

"I'm...I'm alive!?" Jean carefully sat up, choosing to ignore Eren for the time being. He carefully patted his arms and legs in order to make sure that nothing was broken. "I'm not dead!" _Wow. I guess they don't call the Corporal "Humanity's Strongest" for nothing._

"You will be in a moment if you don't _get the fuck off me,_ " Levi growled. Jean felt his face heat up as he realized that he was sitting on top of the Corporal.

"I'm so sorry sir!" Jean cried, and scrambled to get off of Levi. "Are you hurt at all?"

"No," Levi grunted, getting to his feet. "But we'll all be a lot more than just hurt if we don't get the hell out of here. Come on." The Corporal turned and set off at a run, weaving his way expertly through the trees. Eren and Jean took off behind him. The Titan's footsteps were growing louder and louder as it drew closer to them. They could hear the loud creaking, snapping sounds of what must be entire trees breaking as the Titan stepped on them.

"Kirschtein, were you able to see how large this Titan is? I need to know what we're up against here." Levi's voice was curt and no-nonsense as always, and Jean couldn't help but admire his calm in the face of what had to be certain death.

"It looked really big, sir," Jean responded as he leapt over a tree root. "I mean _huge._ It was taller than all the trees around it. But what does it matter anyway; we're never gonna be able to outrun - "

"Sir!" Eren interrupted. The turquoise-eyed soldier ran a few feet ahead of Jean, so that he was keeping pace with Levi. "If you'll give me permission to transform, I might be able to kill it - "

" _No,_ Jaeger." Levi's voice left absolutely no room for arguments. "You _will not_ transform unless I explicitly authorize it. Do I make myself clear?"

Eren looked dumbstruck. Even in a situation like this, where they very well might all die in a few moments if he didn't transform, Levi _still_ wouldn't allow it? _Does the Corporal really have such little trust in me?_ "But sir, I - "

_"IT'S COMING!"_ Jean shouted, stumbling over leaves and patches of snow. The Titan's leg, a great pillar of flesh that dwarfed everything around it, came breaking through the forest behind them. The huge slab of its foot smashed down onto a nearby pine tree, instantly reducing it to splinters. Its tongue lolled out from between swollen lips, dancing around huge, square teeth the length of a man's leg. Its blank, glassy eyes were focused on the three tiny humans scurrying away below it, and it wasn't hard to figure out what the Titan was thinking. It was the same thing all Titans thought when faced with humans - the _only_ thought, it seemed, that Titans were capable of having at all.

_Hunger. Food. Prey._

"We're gonna die! Fucking hell, we're all gonna die!" Jean shouted, tears stinging at the corners of his eyes as he ran blindly through the forest alongside Eren and Levi. _Please, I don't want to die!_ The amber-eyed soldier thought desperately. _Not now. Not like this. Oh gods, Marco..._

Levi spotted it as the three of them burst out of the dead, frozen underbrush into a small clearing, the Titan still right on their heels. It was a well - an extremely old well, as the round stones that made it up were crumbling and half-covered with the crawling brown stems of what was probably ivy. Hiding inside of it probably wasn't the safest option - after all, Levi had no idea how deep the well was - but it was the only chance of survival they had at the moment.

"Get in the well! Hurry!" The Corporal shouted. He grabbed Eren's arm with one hand and took Jean's in the other, and Levi practically yanked the two younger soldiers with him as he leapt down the well.

The three of them landed in a messy heap of flailing limbs several yards down. Thankfully, the well had gone dry at some point, since all there was at the bottom was a puddle of half-frozen muck. Which had now splattered all over their freshly-washed Survey Corps uniforms. 

"Are either of you hurt?" Levi grunted, managing with some effort to disentangle himself from Eren's leg in order to sit up straight.

"Unnnghhh," Jean moaned, also sitting up and rubbing at his head. "No...just a few bruises, I think..."

"I'm OK too, sir," Eren said quietly. There was steam rising from a nasty gash on the brat's arm, which would have probably needed immediate medical attention had it happened to any other soldier. With Eren, however, the skin was knitting right before Levi's eyes through a haze of hot steam. It was truly remarkable, but the Corporal didn't have time to dwell on his subordinate's amazing regenerative powers at the moment. Another loud roar echoed just overhead, and the stones of the old well trembled as the monster stopped right beside it.

The creature's hand came sweeping down over the top of the well, breaking off the rotting, mostly collapsed wooden beams that would normally have supported a rope and bucket. Levi, Eren, and Jean crouched down, huddling close together in the bottom of the well. For a few moments, there was no sound save for the slight rumblings of the Titan's movement, and the three humans' breathing, harsh and ragged from running.

Then there was another loud roar, and one of the Titan's fingers came plunging down the well. It was easily as long as the tree Jean had climbed earlier, tipped with a fingernail yellowed and chipped from age and dirt. Levi grabbed the backs of Eren and Jean's cloaks and pulled the two back against the far wall. The Titan's one finger was scraping about, creating deep furrows in the muck, and the way it moved reminded Levi uncomfortably of a small child trying to get the last sweet out of a jar. The Titan caused one part of the well to collapse completely by scraping against it, the crumbling rocks sliding down to land in a pile next to Levi, Eren, and Jean. One of them narrowly missed Jean's foot, causing him to stifle a whimper as he quickly yanked the appendage back.

Amazingly, the Titan withdrew its finger, letting out its loudest roar yet in frustration at not being able to catch the three humans. Levi, Eren, and Jean winced, covering their ears as the Titan's shout echoed around them and caused a few more smaller rocks to crumble off the sides of the well. There were more splintering and crashing noises up above, along with the thudding, crunching sounds of footsteps as the creature moved about. The Titan's hand passed over the top of the well a few more times, but it appeared that Levi's gamble had paid off. The well was too small a hiding place for the huge Titan to be able to reach them. For the moment, at least, they were safe. Apparently Eren and Jean realized this as well, since Levi could feel their bodies relaxing ever so slightly beside his own.

"What should we do now, sir?" Jean whispered, looking at Levi with huge, fearful eyes.

"Wait until nightfall," Levi answered gruffly. "That bastard'll stop moving once there's no sunlight, and then we can get to someplace safe."

"Captain Levi!" Eren was glaring at Levi, his bright turquoise eyes filled with the same intense fury that had attracted Levi to the boy in the first place. It was much less pleasant, however, to have that same intense anger focused on himself. "With all due respect, sir, why won't you let me transform!? Why don't you _trust_ me, Captain? I can kill that Titan, I _know_ I can, and we can get out of here! I can take us back to the Walls, and we won't have to stay out here in the woods any longer - "

"Jaeger, _shut the fuck up,_ " Levi hissed through clenched teeth. Eren's mouth shut with an audible click, his eyes going wide at the intensity of the Corporal's tone. Levi had been harsh with him before, of course. He'd sworn like a sailor around Eren, had called him a brat more times than Eren could count. Hell, Levi had beaten him black and blue during the military trial in order to save Eren's life. But the Corporal had never once told anyone on his squad to "shut the fuck up." The turquoise-eyed soldier found himself unable to say anything more as Levi's intense gray eyes bored into him.

"First off, brat," Levi said, "I trust every member of my squad completely. Since you are a member of my squad, that includes you. _However,_ your Titan power is far from being reliable. You're exhausted for a long period of time after transforming, Jaeger, and we can't afford to be dragging your unconscious body around the woods. And the fact of the matter is, there's still a high chance that you'll lose control and go on a rampage."

Eren opened his mouth to retort, but Levi held up a hand to stop him and kept talking. "You are Humanity's Last Hope, and I have been tasked with keeping you safe, Eren. This is not something that I take lightly. More importantly, I have to be the one to kill you should something go wrong. Have you ever even _once_ considered, in that thick head of yours, that maybe, _just maybe,_ I want to keep you alive? That maybe _I don't want to kill you, Eren?_ "

Eren was completely lost for words. He just stared at the Corporal, bright turquoise looking into cool gray. _He...trusts me? Really? He doesn't want to kill me?_ Eren supposed he probably should have figured this out sooner, having spent a month in Levi's company prior to this expedition. However, it was always difficult to tell with the Corporal, since he kept his feelings so closely guarded. Eren was never sure what exactly Levi was thinking at any given moment. For now, however, the turquoise-eyed soldier's insides felt pleasantly warm at this newest revelation.

For several long moments, everything was silent save for the rumbling movements of the Titan above them. Jean, having realized that Eren and Levi were having A Moment, was trying his best to pretend he wasn't there by staring intently at the weathered stones to his left.

Finally, Eren broke their gaze with a slight sigh, a light blush tingeing his cheeks pink. "Corporal...thank you," he murmured, staring intently down at the palms of his hands. "For...you know. Protecting me, and everything."

Levi's lips twitched up in the slightest of smiles. "Of course, brat." He said quietly. "Now let's try and make ourselves as comfortable as we can. There's still plenty of hours until nighttime."

Eren and Jean grimaced down at the cold mud they were currently sitting in, and groaned inwardly. It was going to be a long afternoon.

**-x-**

Keeping warm at the bottom of a freezing cold well was a difficult task. If it wasn't for the incredible warmth Eren gave off, they might very well have frozen to death. As it was, Levi draped several furs over the three of them, and they all huddled close for warmth while nibbling on the last of their military rations. Despite the situation they were in, with a man-eating Titan literally only twenty or so yards away, Eren couldn't help but enjoy the feeling of the Corporal's body pressed flush against him, Levi's short black hair tickling the underside of his chin. It was a peaceful, content feeling, being so close to a person you admired and cared for greatly.

Of course, the feeling was ruined somewhat by Jean's body pressed against Eren's other side. The taller boy smelled like a bad mixture of dirt and sweat. Of course, Eren probably didn't smell much better, since he had taken exactly one bath in weeks. However, Eren thought that Jean had always smelled funny. Probably because he was actually part horse, or something.

Exhausted from the earlier stress, Eren, Levi, and Jean dozed off. Levi didn't know how long he'd been asleep for, but when he blearily opened his eyes again, the sky was dark overhead and filled with twinkling stars. The Corporal yawned and stretched as best he could in such close quarters, listening hard for several moments. Except for the typical rustling noises of the forest, all was silent. It was time for the three of them to make their escape.

Levi looked down at his side, where Eren was snoring softly into Jean's ear. "Oi, get up you two," he hissed, poking the younger soldiers in the ribs. Eren made an absolutely adorable little squeak as his eyes slowly opened. "Mmm...wha' time izzet." He mumbled.

Next to him, Jean groaned as he slowly sat up, brushing a few stray locks of hair out of his eyes. "Ugh. My back hurts," he grumbled.

"It's nighttime now, so we need to get the hell out of here and away from that Titan," Levi explained. "It's not safe to stay here any longer. We don't have much food or water, and that big fucker could succeed at breaking down the well tomorrow and killing us all. We have to go _now._ "

"But sir...anything could be out there besides Titans," Jean said. "Like wolves, or bears..."

"Or moose," Eren added. Levi and Jean stared down at him in disbelief. "What? Mikasa says it's a legitimate concern - "

"That's why you have weapons," Levi cut in, not wanting to hear anything more about Eren's apparent fear of moose. He gestured to the swords salvaged from their maneuver gear. "If some animal gets close to you, just stab it." It was times like this that the Corporal wished he had his gun with him. He never brought it along on expeditions, seeing as how firearms were useless against Titans. Right now, though, the Corporal dearly wished he had. A gun would have been handy in fending off wild animals.

Eren and Jean looked unconvinced, but nevertheless followed Levi in climbing out of the well. It took a good ten or fifteen minutes for the three of them to inch their way up, since it was difficult to find hand- and footholds among the old, crumbling stones. There were several close calls where a rock literally fell away after a hand or foot was placed near it. Levi breathed a deep sigh of relief when they had all managed to pull themselves up onto the snowy ground beside their hiding place.

Slowly getting to his feet, Levi looked up at the great behemoth of a Titan that was slumped on the ground a few feet away. The creature was curled up in a ball, knees pressed up to its chest and half lidded eyes staring blankly at nothing. It was completely still, save for the deep, heaving motions of its sides as the Titan breathed in and out.

The Titan was huge, perhaps the biggest that Levi had ever seen in his entire time in the Survey Corps. It easily dwarfed everything around it, the tallest trees not even reaching its hip. Wild white hair fell in tangles around its shoulders, almost glowing in the moonlight. Levi felt a pang of fear run down his spine as he realized that this Titan was probably bigger than Eren. Would the brat be able to defeat it, if he had to? Hopefully they'd never have to find out.

Eren and Jean were also staring at the Titan, eyes wide and faces filled with fear (and anger as well, on Eren's part). Levi didn't blame them. Even after a soldier stopped wetting him- or herself at the sight of a Titan, seeing the monsters never got any less terrifying. Although it couldn't move right now, Levi didn't want to hang around the Titan any longer than they had to. "Weapons out," he ordered Eren and Jean as he drew his own swords. "Let's go, and remember to _stay alert._ "

**-x-**

Thankfully, it wasn't quite as dark out as Levi had originally feared it would be. The moon was nearly full, hanging bright and heavy in the sky. It cast a soft silver glow over the surrounding forest, reflecting off of the snow in a way that was positively ethereal. Levi would have found it beautiful, had there been time to stop and admire the scenery. Right now, it was important that they keep moving. Even more worrisome than wild animals was the pressing need for Levi to get himself, Eren, and Jean to a safe place before the sun came up, and the Titans started moving again. It was still pretty dark out despite the moonlight, and the going was slower than usual as Eren, Levi, and Jean had to carefully pick their way around uneven ground and rocks that threatened to trip them up at every turn.

They came upon the house completely by accident. After rounding a particularly tall stand of trees, the three soldiers found themselves standing at the foot of a small hill overlooking a sizeable clearing. At the top of the hill was a ramshackle structure, half-covered by now-dead growth and weeds but still recognizable as something man-made. Even Levi, who had come across old human structures from before the Titans on a few expeditions now, was surprised to find it. Eren and Jean were completely shocked.

"What the hell..." Jean breathed softly.

"Is that a...a _house?_ " Eren gaped in disbelief. "Like...a house where _people_ lived?"

"Well, it sure as fuck isn't a house for Titans," Levi grunted. "It'll make a good place to camp until tomorrow, at any rate. Assuming the place hasn't completely fallen apart." The Corporal started to trek up the hill towards the house. Eren and Jean followed, eyes still wide with amazement, as if the house might disappear if they blinked.

The house proved to be a stout log cabin, and even in the dim moonlight Levi could see that the walls were coated with moss and the remains of plant life that would doubtless bloom again in the summer. There were some sizeable cracks in the wood, but the simple fact that the house hadn't completely fallen apart yet was a testament to the skill of whoever had built it, over a century ago. The roof was still there as well. Even the door was sort of intact, although a large part had rotted away and what was left was barely hanging on by a very rusty metal hinge. Levi carefully pushed the door open, half expecting it to crumble into dust at his touch. It didn't, although the rusty hinge shrieked something awful. The Corporal carefully stepped inside, Eren and Jean right at his heels. 

Inside, everything was covered in a thick layer of dust that rose up into small clouds as it was disturbed by their footsteps. They could hear the skittering of small animals that had made their homes inside the building. Jean immediately broke into a coughing fit, and Eren thumped his comrade on the back to bring him out of it, although perhaps a bit harder than was strictly necessary. The first thing the three of them noticed after Jean had calmed down was the sizeable hole in the middle of the ceiling, allowing for a shaft of moonlight to illuminate their surroundings. It was still too dark to make out anything but a few dark shapes inside, however, so they spent several minutes cursing and groping about for wood and kindling to start a fire. This was then followed by several more minutes of cursing as they tried to get a spark to catch. Finally, Eren was able to start a small blaze in the center of the room, throwing a warm light on their surroundings and allowing the three soldiers to get a proper look at the inside of the house for the first time.

Right now, they were in what appeared to be a central sitting area, since there were remains of furniture around them. There was an old wicker chair, sizeable chunks of which had been gnawed away by animals. A rotting sofa, with huge tufts of stuffing poking out between rusty metal springs. The rusted metal legs of what had probably at some point been a table or chair. And on the floor, a few scraps of worn, ragged cloth that might have been a carpet at some point. Now, even the color of what little fabric remained couldn't be determined. 

There were entryways leading into other portions of the house, as well as a broken old staircase leading up to a second floor. However, the fire didn't quite stretch to the other rooms, and they were still shrouded in darkness. "Let's all just stay in this room for tonight," Levi said. "We can't see shit right now, and the last thing I want is for one of you to trip over something you can't see and break your neck."

Eren was immediately attracted to a large, square-shaped object at the far side of the room, resting on a decaying chest of drawers. He didn't know what the hell it was, and the thing only got more mysterious upon closer inspection. The side that was facing him was made of a large glass screen, with a hole the size of Eren's fist smashed through it. The other three sides were made of some kind of black material that the turquoise-eyed soldier had never seen the likes of before. Eren reached out and brushed his fingertips against the square object's surface. It was cool and smooth to the touch underneath a thick layer of dust, but it didn't feel quite like metal or wood. Just what had the people of the past _used_ this thing for?

"Don't go around touching shit, brat." Levi's voice startled Eren out of his thoughts. The turquoise-eyed soldier turned around to see the Corporal staring at him from next to the fire, arms crossed over his chest. "That stuff's filthy, and we don't know if your freaky regeneration abilities prevent against infection or whatever if you hurt yourself." 

Eren looked longingly back at the mysterious square object that had captivated his attention. "But sir, this thing could be useful to us!" He exclaimed, peering inside the hole in the glass screen. "Look...there's _wires_ in here! Like with 3D Maneuver Gear, only smaller." Eren knelt down to examine the box a bit further. At the very bottom, he could just make out a tiny row of indents underneath all the dust. "And there are buttons on here too!"

_"Jaeger!"_ Levi snapped. At the tone in his voice, Eren was instantly on his feet and facing the Corporal. "I am ordering you not to touch that thing! Now get back over here right now."

"Yes, sir! Sorry sir!" Eren replied, hurrying back over to the fire. The Corporal could be really scary when he was angry.

For several long minutes, everyone was silent. The three soldiers stared into the flickering yellow flames, that were casting dancing shadows against the walls. Emotions swirled through Levi, Eren, and Jean, ranging from gratefulness at still being alive to terror of what would happen when the sun came up. Would the same Titan be able to find them again? Would others show up? 

It was Eren who spoke first. "Captain Levi, sir, what kinds of people lived out here before the Titans came?"

Jean snorted. "People who all got eaten, that's who."

Levi looked at his subordinate, who was currently staring intently at the fire. The flames lit Eren's eyes up, bringing out their intense color. Levi found himself wishing, for just a moment, that those bright eyes were focused on him instead. "That's...an odd question, Jaeger," he replied. "Why the curiosity?"

Eren shrugged slightly. "I dunno. I never heard much about the world before the Walls and the Titans, is all. Bits and pieces. My teachers never talked about it, and anyone who brought it up got yelled at."

"No surprise there," Levi said. "It's forbidden by law to talk about the outside world, you know." 

"But _why,_ sir?" Eren asked. He was looking at Levi now, and the Corporal's throat suddenly felt dry at looking into those fierce turquoise eyes lit up by the fire. 

"I don't really know, to be honest. We've come across relics of humanity before on expeditions, obviously. Old structures, remnants of tools, that sort of thing. It drove Hanji wild to see all that shit. You know, whenever there's some kind of mystery she gets all excited about it. Doesn't rest until she solves it." Levi's mouth quirked upwards, ever so slightly, at the thought of his friend. 

"She brought some shit back to the Walls once, after an expedition. Unfortunately, the Military Police got wind of it. Bastards raided Hanji's lab and destroyed it all. I'd never seen her so angry before. She was raging and screaming obscenities at them. Poor Berner had to hold her back, or else Hanji would have attacked them. Erwin was only able to keep her out of jail because a lot of people owe him favors."

Eren was still looking intently at Levi, as if he expected the Corporal to say more. "So no, Jaeger, I don't know what any of that shit does," Levi said, gesturing towards the box. "The political climate being what it is these days, I doubt anyone'll find out anytime soon."

Eren turned back to look at the fire. That familiar spark of righteous anger was shining in his face, but the brat didn't start angrily ranting like Levi had thought he would - and like Jean had expected, based on the surprise in the other boy's face. "Thank you for answering my question, sir," Eren said quietly. Once again, the room was filled with silence.

Eventually, Eren and Jean fell asleep, bathed in the warmth of the fire. Levi, however, was wide awake. A sick feeling of dread had settled in his stomach. He was at a complete loss of what to do. They had only just barely survived one Titan, and who knew how many more of them would show up? Were they even safe in this house? Levi knew damn well that a Titan could smash right through what was left of the roof as if it were made of toothpicks. For all he knew, a Titan could be close by right now. The thought sent shivers running down Levi's spine.

Should they continue foraging for food and water in the forest as if nothing had happened? Levi supposed that technically they could only go out at night, when the Titans would be inactive. But even that was problematic. Wild animals, decreased visibility, and the higher likelihood of getting lost were all very real dangers out here at night. So just what the hell should they do?

Levi glanced over at Eren, curled up asleep on the dirty floor, wrapped up in his cloak. Would he be forced to let Eren transform? Was it possible for them to survive if Eren didn't transform? The Corporal knew that they might be able to get out of this forest right away if Eren transformed. The brat would have a better chance at fending off any Titans they came across, and Eren in his Titan form would be a much faster mode of transportation than simply going on foot.

But all the same...Levi couldn't help thinking about the stories he'd heard, of Eren's transformation at Trost. The soldiers spoke of it in nervous whispers sometimes, when they thought Levi wasn't listening. The bloodcurdling roars, the furious rage in the boy's eyes...the way he'd lost control and attacked his own sister... Could Levi afford to risk that?

The Corporal sighed harshly, running a hand through his short dark hair. _Since when did I get so attached to the damn brat that I don't know if I can kill him anymore?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to end this chapter on a cliffhanger as well, but decided that would be too cruel. ^-^ In the next chapter, some exciting new developments of the Ereri variety!
> 
> And a question for my lovely readers: Does anyone know where I can read the newest translated chapter of "A Choice With No Regrets?" White Flower Translations, where I was reading the previous chapters, decided to drop the project. And I need my Levi fix... T^T 
> 
> Thank you to all the wonderful people who've left comments and kudos! It always makes me very happy to see that people enjoy my writing. *blushes*
> 
> (Bonus points of you can figure out what mysterious object it is that Eren's examining. ^^)


	9. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren is forced to transform.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had a few people wonder how Levi and Co. managed to get past Wall Maria to the outside world proper. The way I see it, since it was only a small expedition to start with, they just ran as fast as they could straight through Maria at night, when the Titans weren't active. I think that if you just went in a straight line aiming for the gates, and went as fast as possible, you could probably make it through by torchlight in one night. Obviously this strategy isn't feasible for exploring past the Three Walls or wandering around looking for The Basement, when you aren't traveling in such a direct route. But I think such a strategy could get them out past the Walls, at least.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER: Scenes of blood, gore, and violence. Nothing worse than in actual canon, IMO, but I'm giving a heads-up anyway so no one gets triggered.
> 
> I had a lot of fun writing this chapter. ;) Hopefully you guys will have just as much fun reading it! And without any further ado, enjoy~

Levi must have dozed off at some point, because his dreams were full of Titans. He was standing in the middle of the forest, without even a blade at his side for protection, while great hordes of the monsters closed in on him. The Titans all stared down at Levi with their terrifying, blank, glassy eyes. Their tongues lolled out of their mouths, long strands of drool dripping down the Titans' faces as they salivated in expectation of a meal. Hiding would be useless; there were simply too many Titans for Levi to be able to escape them all. All he could do in his dream was stand there and wait for the end to come. Meanwhile, the ground around him shook with the Titans' thunderous steps, as hundreds of pounds of flesh came lumbering towards him.

The worst part, however, was the sickening knowledge that Levi had failed his subordinates. Eren and Jean were nowhere to be seen, probably fermenting in the middle of a Titan's stomach right this moment. Levi had failed them. They were never going to make it back to the Walls, were never going to see their friends ever again. _He had failed them..._

Just as one of the Titans was bending down to snatch Levi up and put him in its mouth, his eyes snapped open. Levi's breath came hard and fast, as if he'd just run a mile without once stopping. For a few minutes he simply sat there, letting himself calm down as he clutched his cloak tightly to his body. Levi looked over at Eren and Jean, who were still sleeping peacefully next to the last few glowing embers of the fire. A few rays of morning sunshine were pouring in through the cracked and dirty windows of the cabin, gently illuminating the house in a soft light. _It was just a dream,_ Levi thought firmly. _They're still OK. Everyone's safe. It was all just a dream..._

But if it was just a dream...then why could Levi still hear and feel the booming, thunderous pounding of Titan footsteps? It were shaking the house, causing what was left of the windows to rattle in their frames. And the sounds were getting louder by the moment. Levi could feel the pounding in his body, reverberating through him, rattling his very bones...

Suddenly suffused with panic, Levi leapt to his feet and ran to the door of the house. He peeked his head outside, only to see his worst fear not only realized, but rapidly approaching. For a moment it felt like Levi's heart had stopped beating, his veins filled with a terror that felt like ice.

Titans. At least five or six of them, from what Levi could see, including the ridiculously huge white-haired one from yesterday. The rest of them were all smaller, probably around five- to seven-meter classes by Levi's estimation. Without 3D Maneuver Gear, though, even the smallest Titan was too much for them to take on.

Levi ran back inside, cursing loudly and prodigiously. Jean was slowly waking up, just opening his sleepy amber eyes as the Corporal walked in. Eren, of course, was still fast asleep. It never failed to amaze Levi just how _dense_ these two could be sometimes. They'd sleep through the apocalypse itself if Levi let them. "Get the fuck up, Kirschtein!" He shouted. "We've got trouble!"

Jean's eyes widened, all traces of tiredness quickly replaced by fear and panic. "Wha-?" He muttered, struggling to untangle himself from his cloak with panicked, flailing limbs. The amber-eyed soldier's eyes furrowed in confusion as his still sleep-addled brain finally registered the booming sound of the Titan's footsteps. "Wazzat sound...?"

Levi ignored Jean for the time being in favor of shaking Eren's shoulder. "Brat, get your ass up! Titans are coming our way!"

Predictably, the word _Titans_ woke Eren up faster than a bucket of ice water to the face. The brat's eyes flew open, and he leapt to his feet so quickly that he nearly knocked Levi over. "Titans!?" Eren shouted, his voice suffused with rage despite having just woken up. "Where?"

Jean had managed to get to his feet as well, and was now desperately trying to put his boots on. "Oh shit," the amber-eyed soldier muttered under his breath. "Oh shit oh shit oh shit how did they find us..."

If their circumstances had been any less dire, Levi would have laughed at how ridiculous Eren looked then. His furious demeanor looked completely at odds with his sleep-mussed clothes and messier-than-usual hair. The brat's cloak was in a pile of crumpled green material around his feet. Levi picked it up and practically threw it into Eren's arms. "Get your damn boots on and let's get the fuck out here," he snapped, hurrying back to the door. Levi could hear Eren and Jean following, Eren practically tripping over his own feet in his rush to put his boots on.

Upon reaching the doorway and seeing the Titans only a few hundred yards away, all the color drained from Jean's face. He fell to his knees, clutching at the short spikes of his ash-brown hair. "This is it," Jean muttered. "This is how I'm going to die." He barked out a short, panicked burst of laughter. "I never thought it would end like this..."

As he watched the Titans approach, Levi knew that he had no other choice. He certainly didn't like it, but there was simply no other chance of survival otherwise. It was impossible to outrun the Titans on foot, and the Corporal knew they wouldn't be so lucky as to find a hiding place that would keep them safe from a whole group of Titans. And a choice between certain death and a chance at survival was no choice at all, really.

Levi turned to face Eren. His eyes were intent on the boy's face, imparting the seriousness of their situation. "Jaeger," he said. "I'm ordering you to transform." 

Eren looked the very picture of shock. "But Captain, you said that I wasn't allowed to - "

"Well, obviously the situation has changed!" Levi snapped, throwing a panicked glance over his shoulder at the approaching Titans. Their roars were practically deafening at this distance. Nearby, clusters of trees were being dashed against the ground in the wake of giant footsteps. Jean was still on his knees next to Levi, his entire body trembling with fear. "Jaeger, if you don't transform _now,_ we're all going to die. I'm trusting you to be able to control yourself long enough to kill these Titans, alright? When you transform, pick Kirschtein and I up and put us on your shoulder. I'll cut you out after the Titans are all dead."

Eren's face lit up with that beautiful mixture of anger and conviction, the same passion that had attracted Levi to the brat in the first place. The turquoise-eyed soldier's expression was so intense now that Levi probably would have gotten hard had their lives not been in terrible danger at the moment. "YES SIR!" Eren shouted, his voice clear and passionate above the roars of the Titans. Eyes narrowed in fierce concentration, he lifted his hand up to his mouth.

_I have to keep Levi and Jean alive..._

_Levi trusts me._

_I have to keep Levi alive..._

With those thoughts racing through his head, Eren bit down. His teeth ripped right through the skin of his hand as if it was paper. For a brief moment Eren's mouth was filled with the salty, slightly bitter taste of blood, but it was quickly replaced by the rush of transforming into a Titan. Thick, ropy strands of muscle wrapped around Eren's body as his Titan form rose hundreds of feet above the ground.

Levi closed his eyes tightly against the blinding orange light accompanying Eren's transformation. He crouched down, bracing himself in front of Jean as a strong wave of hot air rushed over them. The next moment it was over, and the roar of Eren's Titan rang in the Corporal's ears, practically shaking the ground at their feet. Levi looked up at the hundreds of feet of skin and muscle that made up Eren's 15-meter Titan form. The brat was currently staring down at them with glowing green eyes amidst a tangle of long brown hair. His teeth were bared in that toothy, creepy-ass smile his Titan form always seemed to have.

Eren bent down and gently laid his enormous hand on the ground at Levi and Jean's feet. Levi jumped up into the Titan's palm, practically dragging Jean along with him. The amber-eyed soldier had apparently not gotten used to his comrade's Titan form yet, and this combined with two close brushes with death in as many days had rendered Jean a pale, wide-eyed mess. "Pull yourself together, Kirschtein," Levi growled, wrapping one of his arms tightly around Eren's middle finger while gripping Jean about the waist with the other. Jean let out a sound like a dying puppy, but nodded fiercely.

The next moment they were being lifted up through the air. Levi watched the ground recede below them, the cabin becoming a small brown dot on a vast expanse of white dotted with the dark green of trees. The Corporal and Jean were deposited neatly on Eren's right shoulder, and Levi reached out to grab a lock of the Titan's long brown hair. He gripped it firmly like a rope and swinging over to rest next to his subordinate's great pointed ear. Jean grabbed a lock of hair as well, clinging tightly to it while bracing himself against the long column of Eren's neck.

"Let's go, Jaeger!" Levi shouted into Eren's ear. The brat's roar of acquiescence was so loud that it physically hurt Levi's ears, causing him to wince slightly in pain. Then Eren was running forward, clearing the last few yards between himself and the approaching Titans in only a few bounds. 

One of the Titans made a clumsy swipe at Eren, which he quickly sidestepped, before counterattacking by smashing the monster's head in with one well-aimed punch. Blood went splattering everywhere, though luckily none of it landed on Levi and Jean. The Titan's headless body came crashing down to the ground, smashing a few dozen trees as it did. Eren roared happily, and Levi winced again. Really, he'd have to talk to the brat about this roaring business once they were out of danger. Eren was even louder in his Titan form than he was normally.

"Behind you!" Levi shouted, catching a glimpse of movement out of the corner of his eye. Eren cried out as one of the smaller Titans managed to bite into his leg, before whirling around and smacking the head right off of it, as if he were swatting away a particularly annoying fly. The Titan's body fell to the ground beside the form of its now lifeless companion.

"To the left!" Jean yelled, and Eren turned just in time to kick in a Titan's skull before it could bite him. Another Titan ran at Eren from the same direction, and the Titan shifter grabbed it by the arm and yanked it around so that he could bite out the back of the monster's neck. Blood splattered across Levi's uniform in thick crimson ropes, and the Corporal let out an angry growl of frustration. This was hardly the first time he'd gotten hit with Titan blood, of course, but he'd always been able to at least change clothes immediately after the battle. _Fucking great,_ Levi thought angrily. _Walls fucking know when I'll be able to wash this shit out. It'll probably stain, too._

Levi glanced over at Jean, who was still maintaining his balance against Eren's neck. The amber-eyed soldier's face was starting to take on a green tinge, however, and Levi hoped desperately that Jean wouldn't throw up. It was difficult enough to balance on Eren's giant, quickly-moving form without having to deal with vomit going everywhere too. 

The Corporal didn't have much time to worry about his clothes, however, as he spotted a giant fist come swinging down towards Eren's head. It belonged to the white-haired Titan, easily the biggest of the bunch - it stood a whole head above Eren. _"Dammit Eren, look out!"_ Levi bellowed into his subordinate's ear. Eren looked up and grunted in surprise, managing to leap aside just in time to avoid getting everyone crushed to death.

Eren's swift movements had the unfortunate consequences of causing Jean to lose his footing and go tumbling off of Eren's shoulder. He was only saved a ten-meter drop to his death by his iron grip on Eren's hair. "Agh! Fucking _hell,_ asshole!" Jean swore at his comrade, who was now punching the fifth Titan's face into a pulp of shattered bone and bloody muscle. 

Levi bit off a violent curse before kicking off against Eren's shoulder and using the brat's hair as a rope in order to swing over to where Jean was dangling in the air. "Grab my hand, Kirschtein!" The Corporal shouted. Jean reached out a clammy palm and grasped Levi's hand in the same death grip he'd been holding onto Eren's hair with. Levi pulled the younger soldier up against him, and swung back over to Eren's shoulder.

Wrapped inside the warm, pulsing cocoon of muscle, blood, and sinew that was his Titan form, Eren's emotions always seemed more potent. Namely, his rage against the Titans, and his sorrow at the family and friends they had stolen from him. Eren clenched his teeth in a fierce snarl, seeing in every Titan that fell before him the same monstrous, inhuman grin of the Titan that had swallowed his mother so many years before. The turquoise-eyed soldier could almost see Carla in the Smiling Titan's grip, her thin shoes dangling off of her feet as the Titan put her in its mouth. He could see his mother's body exploding in a garishly red burst of blood. If Eren concentrated, he could almost hear the sharp snap of his mother's bones as they broke against the Titan's great white teeth...

Eren's Titan form roared, a deafening bellow that caused the nearby trees to tremble right down to their roots. He drove his foot straight into the gut of the Titan corpse below him, sending bits of blood and guts flying everywhere. The monster was already dead, its body quickly evaporating and filling the air with hot steam. But still, Eren didn't stop. He continued smashing his foot into what was left of the Titan's corpse. _I'll kill it,_ he thought, every foot of his massive Titan form taut and quivering with rage. _I'll kill every last fucking one of these damn Titans!_

"Eren!" Levi shouted, from where he and Jean were clinging to the wild locks of brown hair close to the Titan shifter's ear. "Eren, that Titan's dead already! We need to take the big one down!" The Corporal glanced nervously over his shoulder at the white-haired Titan, which was charging towards them once more. The thing's great mouth was agape, long, sticky strands of saliva flying out around its huge, squared teeth...

Eren whirled around so quickly that Levi and Jean were both thrown off of his shoulder and into the air. Letting out a feral roar, Eren sunk his teeth into the white-haired Titan's side. Great spurts of blood burst into the air around Eren's mouth, and the larger Titan howled in pain, stumbling and falling to the ground on its knees. The monster's wound started regenerating the second Eren released it, but the Titan shifter didn't stick around to watch. Eren took off at a run through the forest, trees falling left and right as his giant body crashed through them. Only one thought was going through his mind. _Kill them. Kill all the Titans. Eradicate them, paint the world red with their blood!_

Levi grabbed Jean about the waist, saving the amber-eyed soldier from flying headfirst into a nearby tree. The Corporal used Eren's momentum to swing around on his subordinate's hair, landing him and Jean at the nape of the Titan shifter's neck. "You alright, Kirschtein?" He grunted. _Shit, Eren's losing control! I have to cut him out, now!_

Jean was white as a sheet and breathing hard, clearly winded from flying around on Eren's Titan body, but the amber-eyed soldier nodded weakly. "Ye-yes, sir."

"Good. You'll need to hold on as if your life depended on it, Kirschtein. Because, well, it does."

Jean nodded again, and wrapped his hands tightly around Eren's hair once again. He winced as Eren's hand flew out to clasp around a smaller Titan's head as he ran past it, crushing the monster's skull with a loud _crack._ "Go ahead, Captain," Jean said, his voice a bit steadier as he looked at Levi with determined amber eyes. "I'll be fine, just go and save Eren. You're the only one who can, after all."

Levi's mouth twitched up for half a second in the ghost of a smile. _Guess you're not half-bad after all, Kirschtein._ The Corporal grabbed another lock of Eren's hair and swung over to land at the base of the Titan shifter's spine. He knew that, underneath the pulsing skin at his feet, the real Eren lay curled up in a nest of guts. _Still, I don't want to cut him out if I can help it. Regeneration or not, it'll be a real pain in the ass if I accidentally cut off his limbs._ "Eren!" He shouted, pounding on the skin and muscle of the brat's Titan form. "Eren Jaeger, can you hear me?! You have to come out _now!_ "

 _"-ren! Eren, come out!"_ A sharp voice drifted into Eren's awareness, weaving its way past his Titan form's roars and the deep thrum of pulsing muscle and vein around him. Controlling his Titan took a great deal of energy and concentration, and Eren was so very tired. _Hmm...Captain Levi..._ he thought drowsily. _My Captain Levi. Won't you please touch me...?_

Eren closed his eyes. He was so tired...surely the Corporal wouldn't complain if he rested for just a moment? After all, pulling and clawing his way free from his Titan would take just as much energy as controlling it, if not more. Taking a brief nap couldn't hurt. Once he was refreshed, Eren would pull free and rejoin Levi and Jean. For now, though, the Titan shifter allowed himself to drift farther and farther away from the world around him. His Titan form continued to run, powered by blind rage as it smashed past everything in its wake.

 _"Goddammit Eren!"_ Levi cursed. He might as well have been pounding against the wall of an abandoned building for all the response he was getting from brat. The Corporal tried desperately to force down the panic building up deep in his gut. What if Eren was dead? What if he was too late to save his subordinate? Muttering every curse word he knew under his breath, Levi raised his swords and plunged them both deep into the flesh of Eren's nape. Blood spurted out around the sharp steel blades in great arcs, splattering against Levi's face and clothes and completely drenching him in crimson. It was disgusting and horrible, but the Corporal refused to think about the blood right now. He started hacking away at the Titan's skin and muscle, carving away chunks of flesh as he struggled to reach the human boy beneath.

Inside the groggy haze of his mind, Eren was no longer wrapped up in the warm, pulsing flesh of his Titan. He was lying atop his bed down in the dungeon of the old Survey Corps HQ, waiting for Captain Levi to come down and chain him up for the night. Eren let out a huge yawn, stretching his arms slightly above his head. He was exhausted after a hard day's training, and even the thin mattress and rough quilt of the dungeon bed felt like heaven against his aching body.

The turquoise-eyed soldier heard the sharp, precise sound of Corporal Levi's footsteps echoing down the stone stairs, and he struggled to pull himself up into a sitting position. Levi came up to the barred door of Eren's cell and stopped, the candle he was holding casting a soft, flickering orange glow on the rough stone walls and floor of the dungeon. He gently put the candle down on a small wooden table outside the cell and slowly walked in, shutting the creaky iron door quietly behind him.

Eren noticed that the Corporal wasn't wearing his usual impeccably neat Survey Corps uniform. Instead, Levi was dressed in a loose shirt and pants that seemed more suitable for lounging about than in commanding respect from one's subordinate. Levi's short hair seemed darker than usual in the dim light, falling like spilled ink around his ears and contrasting against his pale skin and sharp jaw. The Corporal's eyes rested on Eren's face. Their usual hard steel color had softened in the candle light, into something more like a smoky quartz color. _He's beautiful,_ Eren thought, his cheeks turning bright red at the thought.

The turquoise-eyed soldier fisted his hand against his heart in a salute. _"Sir?"_ He said, the word coming out more as a question than a firm affirmation. Levi had never looked at Eren like this before. The usual stern expression Levi wore whenever he so much as glanced in Eren's direction had made him despair of his commanding officer ever seeing him as more than just a subordinate, albeit one who was a powerful weapon in humanity's war against the Titans. Now, however...Levi was looking at Eren as if he was Levi's most precious person, someone to be treasured and admired.

 _"At ease,"_ Levi said with a soft chuckle, and Eren's hand dropped to his side more out of surprise than anything else. He had never heard the Corporal make any sound that might even be close to a laugh before. And...and was Levi _smiling?_ It was just the tiniest upwards curving of the older man's lips, but it was enough to get Eren's heart beating double-time against his chest. He hadn't thought Levi's mouth was capable of smiling at all. Yet Levi smiling right now, and just for Eren. Only Eren.

Levi walked slowly over to Eren, and sat gracefully down on the bed beside him. Eren's face felt so warm right now that he was surprised steam wasn't rising from it. The Corporal was so close, closer than he'd ever been to Eren before. The turquoise-eyed soldier could feel the hard muscles of Levi's thigh pressing gently against his own, could feel the heat radiating off of Levi's body. _"You've wanted this for awhile, haven't you now, Eren?"_ Levi whispered. _"I can see the way you look at me, when you think I'm not paying attention."_ He chuckled again, a soft, rich sound that Eren was quickly getting addicted to hearing. _"You want me to touch you, hm?"_

Eren's eyes widened with surprise and embarrassment. Had he really been so transparent that Levi needed to confront him about it? _"I'm sorry, sir,"_ he mumbled, turning away from his commanding officer to stare at the wrinkles in the bedsheet beneath his hand. _"It won't happen again."_

The turquoise-eyed soldier felt a strong, calllused hand gently but firmly cupping his chin, guiding him back to look at Levi. His commanding officer's smile had widened fractionally as he stared at Eren with those uncharacteristically gentle, smoky eyes. _"Don't be,"_ Levi whispered. _"I've wanted you too, Eren, for awhile now. I'll give you what you want."_

Eren felt the Corporal's long fingers move upwards to gently, soothingly caress his cheek. Despite the rough calluses on the pads of Levi's fingers, doubtlessly formed from long hours of wielding swords in battle, the older man's touch felt heavenly on the warm skin of Eren's face. Eren sighed softly, leaning into his commanding officer's touch. _If this is a dream, I don't ever want to wake up,_ he thought dreamily.

**-x-**

Levi cut away at the Titan's flesh until he was finally able to uncover Eren's face and upper torso. Beneath the long, thick strands of muscle connecting his subordinate's human body to the Titan one, he could see that Eren was still breathing. _Oh, thank the Walls he's not dead._ "Eren," Levi said, digging his hands into the wet, bloody flesh around Eren's head in order to gently cup the young soldier's cheeks. "Eren, you need to wake up." He leaned down and pressed his forehead against Eren's. "Please wake up."

"Mmmm," Eren mumbled, so quietly that Levi wouldn't have heard it at all if his head hadn't been touching the younger one's. "Mmmm...Captain Levi..."

 _Huh?_ Levi thought. He pulled away from Eren, his brow furrowing in confusion. _What the fuck...is the brat dreaming about me or some shit?_

"Please touch me, Captain..."

 _OK seriously, what the fuck?_ Almost against his own will, Levi's eyes flicked down to Eren's crotch, and...yep, the brat had a hard-on. Of course. Eren's Titan form would be going on a mad rampage through an uncharted forest miles away from human civilization, and the brat himself would be having a wet dream about his commanding officer.

Not for the first time since they'd been stranded out here, the Corporal was at a loss for what to do. Should he just cut Eren out now and wait for him to wake up on his own? Of all the times Eren had transformed at the old HQ, he'd always been able to emerge from his Titan's nape on his own. Once or twice Levi had needed to cut him out, if the brat had exhausted his energies doing some inane task for Hanji in his Titan form. However, Eren had always been conscious those times as well. If Levi cut him out now, would Eren be able to regain consciousness afterwards?

There was only one thing Levi could think of doing in order to get Eren's attention. If he was being perfectly honest, it was something he'd wanted to do for a long time now - though not while desperately clinging to the bloody nape of Eren's Titan form, obviously. Levi bent his head down and kissed Eren on the lips, hard.

His mouth filled with the coppery, bitter taste of blood, which was unsurprising. There was so much of it everywhere, around Levi and on him. Beneath that, however, was another taste. Rich and slightly sweet, a bit like a piece of dark chocolate Levi had had for a state holiday once, when he was very young. It was a nice taste, and somehow undeniably Eren. "Wake the fuck up already, brat," Levi whispered gruffly, stroking his thumbs across Eren's cheeks.

_Wake up..._

Eren's eyes slowly opened, revealing clouded yet still vibrant green-blue eyes. His eyelids felt like ten-pound weights. The mental image of Levi sitting next to him on his bed and gently caressing his face blurred and then vanished, only to be replaced by a blurry image of Levi bending over him with a look of desperation and...affection? Eren could feel the pulsing muscle and flesh of his Titan form around him once more, now mixed with the unpleasant warmth and stickiness of drying blood. _Did I lose control? Did Levi have to cut me out? Shit...is everyone OK?_

Eren groaned drowsily, his head aching fit to burst. He didn't want to think anymore. "Captain," he mumbled, lifting his heavy arms and wrapping them loosely around Levi's neck. "I'm...I'm alright, sir."

"I can see that," Levi muttered, relief seeping into his voice. "Hang on, we're going to cut you out now. Kirschtein!" He yelled over his shoulder.

There was a slight grunt, and then Jean came swinging over on a lock of Eren's Titan hair to land next to the Corporal. "Yes, sir?"

"I need you to cut the muscle connecting Eren to this damn Titan while I hold him, alright?" Levi grunted. His arms tightened around Eren, pulling the brat closer to his chest.

Jean nodded and unsheathed one of his blades as Levi wrapped his arms around Eren, grunting as he pulled the boy free of his Titan body as much as he possibly could. There was a disgusting squelching, sucking sound as Eren's human body was removed from the cocoon of flesh. Steam started to rise in clouds from the nape of the Titan's neck, the body starting to fall apart without Eren inside of it. "Now, Kirschtein!"

Jean's blade flew through the air with a sharp whistle, neatly severing the muscles connecting Eren to his Titan. The turquoise-eyed soldier's body slumped in Levi's arms as he fell unconscious. Meanwhile, Eren's Titan form came to a shuddering stop and started to fall. "Hold on!" Levi shouted, tangling his hand firmly in long brown hair as the ground started to rush up beneath them in a white blur. Jean closed his eyes against the wind rushing against his face, clinging tightly to the nape of the Titan's neck.

There was a crash that must have been heard for miles as Eren's body impacted against the forest floor. Hitting the ground felt like it jarred every single one of Levi's bones, but luckily the Titan's massive body was enough to cushion the fall so that he wasn't injured. A quick glance over at Jean proved that the amber-eyed boy was similarly unhurt. 

Jean slowly released the Titan's nape and took a deep breath. Smoke started to rise in thick plumes around them as Eren's Titan form began disintegrating in earnest. "Is Eren alright, sir?" He asked, gazing with concern at his comrade's body held tightly against the Corporal's own.

Levi could feel Eren's breathing against him, deep and even. Each inhale and exhale sent relief flooding through his tense muscles. He had no idea where the hell they were, or what they would do from here. But for now, the fact that Levi could answer Jean's question was enough. "Yes. Eren will be alright."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapters should be getting distinctly more Ereri-filled now. (I'm excited. ^_^) Of course, this doesn't mean that Eren and Levi will lie around and do nothing but have sex while abandoning Jean to his own devices. The boys still need to get out of the forest, of course, so there's plenty more plot to come!
> 
> You guys can look forward to another Jean interlude coming up very soon. Because Jean needs love too. :3
> 
> As always, your comments and kudos are my lifeblood. They are the fuel that keeps these chapters coming. Thank you all so much for your attentions. *bows*


	10. Interlude 2: Jean and Levi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi and Jean have a heart-to-heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh. OK, wow, I suck. It's been a month since this story updated. I was having a ton of trouble getting out the next chapter for my other fic, "In Dreams," so the update for BtW got pushed back while I was trying to finish that up. I'm so sorry, everyone. ;-; *hides in shame*
> 
> Anyway, have another Jean interlude! 
> 
> WARNINGS: Slight mention of (minor) character death. This chapter, I think, is a much-needed reprieve from the insanity that has been the last two chapters.

Not wishing to attract the attention of more Titans, Levi and Jean left the steaming, quickly disintegrating remains of Eren's Titan behind with haste. They hiked through the forest for what felt like several miles, picking their way over rocks and icy patches and around the exposed, knobby roots of trees. A chilling breeze had picked up that seemed to cut right through Jean's cloak, making his teeth chatter and his body tight and shivery. On top of that, he and Levi were both covered in dirt and dried Titan blood, which made their little hike just that much more uncomfortable. 

The entire time, Levi carried Eren's unconscious body on his back. Eren's arms were slumped around Levi's shoulders like dead weights, and the Corporal had placed the boy's legs firmly about his waist. Jean had to admire Levi's fortitude in carrying a body that was at least a head taller than the Corporal's own. Jean was carrying all of their packs and bundles, which were no small weight on their own, but he still had a feeling that Levi was bearing the greater weight. _Eren needs to stop taking all of those "second helpings" of stew at dinner. Second helpings my ass, he takes enough to feed all of the people in Connie's backwater village, I bet,_ Jean thought grumpily.

Jean noticed that Levi's face was starting to show just the tiniest bit of strain. There was a wrinkle between his brows that definitely hadn't been there twenty minutes ago, and Jean noticed a few drops of sweat trickling down the side of the Corporal's face. "Sir, if you'd like, we can switch off for a bit," Jean offered. "I can carry Eren for awhile, if you carry the packs."

Levi looked at Jean out of the corner of his eye. "That's alright, Kirschtein," he grunted, pausing for a minute to readjust Eren's legs around his waist. "Eren is my direct subordinate, after all, so it's my duty to take care of him if he becomes incapacitated." The Corporal started walking again, and Jean followed with a frown of confusion on his face. Was it just him, or had Levi somehow gotten more protective of Eren over the last few hours?

They stopped to make camp underneath the large trunk of a fallen tree, as the sun was hanging low and heavy on the western horizon. The tree had fallen against a large rock, leaving a space underneath that was protected from the worst of the snow and wind. It wasn't a large space, but after spending the last few weeks pressed up against Eren and Levi in the World's Tiniest Cave, Jean was used to these kinds of things.

Jean spent the last few remaining hours of daylight gathering sticks and small branches for firewood around their campsite, while Levi sat watching over Eren. Between the two of them, Jean and Levi managed to get a fire going, albeit in about twice the time it would have taken Eren to do so, and with many muttered curse words in the process. (Jean had to admit that even though Eren was an idiotic, suicidal asshole, he was pretty damn good at starting fires). The amber-eyed soldier felt positively triumphant when they finally managed to get a blaze going.

Levi cleared a swath of snow next to the fire, and laid Eren's still-unconscious body out to rest beside the blaze. The Corporal even took off his own cloak, bloodstained though it was, and draped it over Eren's body. Levi and Jean had scrubbed their faces and hands clean with snow as best they could, but there wasn't much either of them could do about their clothes. They'd changed into their rough animal skin-and-fur outfits, just to have something clean to wear. Although they both looked like wild hobos, it was still better than spending a prolonged period of time in their bloody, dirty Survey Corps uniforms. 

Jean and Levi ate a small amount of their remaining dried meat rations by the fire, just enough to quell the worst of their hunger pains. "We have to stretch what's left of this, unfortunately," Levi said, frowning deeply at the rough rabbit skin pack that held their dwindling amount of food. "I don't know when we'll be able to go hunting again, unfortunately. It'll have to be soon, though." Jean just nodded in reply as he stared at the fire, trying not to worry about where his next meal was coming from.

The amber-eyed soldier relaxed a bit once the sun went down, taking comfort in the knowledge that he wouldn't need to fear Titans in the dark. Jean would much rather face a pack of wolves or a bear than Titans. It was sort of funny, he thought with a wry smile. Throughout history, humanity had been afraid of the dark, had huddled inside next to fires and lamps in order to escape the seemingly impenetrable blackness. And now, Jean looked forward to the relief and safety from Titans that was brought by nighttime. How strange it was, the ways in which old customs and beliefs had been turned on their heads by the arrival of those monsters.

Levi was preoccupied with Eren, sitting close by the soldier's prone form and watching as Eren's chest rose and fell with each deep, steady breath that he took. Almost absentmindedly, it seemed, one of the Corporal's hands had buried itself amid Eren's locks of messy brown hair and was gently stroking his scalp. Jean thought he saw Eren sigh slightly in his sleep at the touch, but he could have been imagining it. His comrade certainly showed no signs of stirring anytime soon, at least. Jean knew that it was taxing for Eren to transform, knew that the turquoise-eyed soldier was often knocked out for a day or two afterwards. Still, Jean had to push down the fear that Eren would die out here in the woods. Although the two of them often bickered and argued and fought, Jean genuinely didn't want Eren to die. Annoying or not, Eren was his comrade, and Jean had lost enough comrades at Trost to know that he didn't want to lose any more.

Not to mention, they would all be well and truly fucked without Eren's Titan-shifting ability. Unreliable though it was, Eren's Titan was their best (and possibly only) hope of making it back to the Walls in one piece.

Sighing slightly, Jean moved his Survey Corps jacket a bit closer to the fire in order to warm it. The jacket was slightly damp as well as dirty, and the amber-eyed soldier wanted the garment to at least be dry, if it couldn't be clean. With how cold it had been today, he might very well need the extra layer of insulation his jacket would provide. A slight rustling sound caught Jean's attention as he smoothed the fabric out on the ground before the fire, and his eyes fell to the jacket's front pocket, where the tiny corner of something white was peeking out.

Jean's eyes went wide with panic as he suddenly remembered the portrait he'd grabbed from the cabin the night before. It had been lying underneath one of the old cabinets, and Jean had accidentally nudged it out with his foot when he'd laid down to go to bed that night. The image it bore had ignited his curiosity, so he'd decided on the spot to take it with him. With a quick glance around to make sure Levi and Eren weren't looking, Jean had snatched the bit of paper up and tucked it in his coat pocket. He'd completely forgotten about it, with all the action that had been going on today.

Levi was gazing intently at the fire, his hand still half-tangled in Eren's hair. The Corporal appeared to be thinking about something, though Jean had no idea what it could be. He understood Levi about as well as he understood why Titans ate humans - which was to say, not at all. Still, Levi wasn't paying attention to Jean right now, and the amber-eyed soldier wanted to examine the picture more closely, now that there was a quiet moment. Once Eren woke up and got back to picking fights with him all the time, Jean had no idea if he'd ever be able to look at the portrait again. With another quick glance to make sure the Corporal still wasn't looking at him (he wasn't), Jean reached into his pocket and drew out his treasure. In one smooth motion, he drew his knees up towards his chin, and placed the picture upon them, leaning back slightly so as to better look at it.

It looked like a family portrait of some kind. Such things were common among the wealthy elite of Sina, with family members all dressed in their best clothes and standing stiffly around in the parlor while they were painted. However, this portrait was unlike any Jean had ever seen before. For one, the paper it was printed on was smoother and shinier than any Jean had seen before. It felt almost slick to the touch, his fingertips skating pleasantly across it. Despite the portrait's age, Jean didn't think he'd ever come across a more high-quality bit of paper. He wondered if it could even be written upon, the paper was so smooth. It seemed as if ink would just slide right off of it.

In the picture, a man, a woman, and a small girl were standing together underneath a tree, with dappled sunlight shining down on them through its leaves. They were a family, from the look of it. The man had one arm wrapped over his wife's shoulders and the other holding his daughter close, grinning happily in their presence. The woman's long, loose hair floated about her head as if it had been caught in a playful breeze. Her mouth was open in laughter, eyes shining brightly with happiness and love for her family. Her arms were wrapped loosely around the little girl's, one of her hands resting gently over the man's. The girl, who looked to be around five or six years old to Jean, had her hair woven into two long braids that fell down to her waist, tied with brightly colored ribbons. She was beaming at the camera with a silly gap-toothed smile, clearly having lost a few baby teeth. The girl's arms were hugging what had to be the fluffiest cat Jean had ever seen close to her chest. Even the cat looked happy, nestled comfortably in the girl's arms with its long fluffy tail brushing gently against her knees.

The people in the picture looked relaxed and at ease, as if the painter had managed to capture them all in one swift movement, without the portrait's subjects ever needing to stand still. Whoever had painted this must have been quite skilled indeed, as Jean couldn't see any brush strokes or misapplied paint. It looked incredibly realistic, as if Jean was looking through a window and into a real image from the past. Looking at the picture now, he couldn't help feeling a little sad. This family, which looked so happy and carefree, was gone now. They had no idea of the horrors that were soon to occur, that this idyllic scene would soon be ruined by giant, ravenous monsters that would push humanity to the brink of extinction. Had they been the previous occupants of the now ruined cabin? Was that where this picture had been painted? Jean wondered when the Titans had come and eaten these people. He winced as a brief, unwanted image flashed in his mind of the little girl, screaming bloody murder and crying as she slid slowly down a Titan's gullet. Jean hoped desperately that she had somehow managed to escape that fate.

"Kirschtein?" Levi's sharp voice drew Jean out of his musings. He looked up from the portrait to see the Corporal glaring at him, his eyes turned molten silver in the firelight. "What are you looking at over there?"

"Um...uhhh..." Jean stuttered with nerves. He didn't want to think of how much trouble he'd be in for this. Levi had expressly ordered him and Eren not to touch anything in the cabin, and here Jean had gone and ignored that order. Disobeying a direct order from a superior officer was just about the worst thing a soldier could do in the army. "It's...um, it's nothing, sir." He tried to surreptitiously shove the portrait underneath his jacket, but Levi was too fast for him. In one swift movement, the Corporal had snatched the paper from Jean's fingers. Levi brought it up close to the flames, and Jean thought for a moment that he planned to burn it. But Levi merely examined the picture, gazing at it with furrowed brows.

For several long moments, everything was silent save for the crackling and popping noises made by the fire as it burned. Jean looked on with growing unease as the Corporal continued to merely look at the picture, ignoring Jean completely. Levi's face was inscrutable as always, and Jean had no idea just what the shorter man was thinking. He squirmed slightly, wishing that Levi would just hand out his punishment and spare Jean the agony of waiting for one.

Finally, Levi tore his eyes from the picture to look back up at Jean. "You took this from the cabin, didn't you," he said flatly. It wasn't a question.

Jean nodded. "Yes...yes, Captain, I did. And I'm really, really sorry! I know you told us not to touch anything, and I know that it was stupid and dangerous of me to do so! I just...I wasn't _thinking,_ and please don't have me court-martialed for insubordination, sir - "

Levi held up a hand. "Enough, Kirschtein," he said, stopping Jean's babbling in its tracks. "I can't very well court-martial you in the middle of fucking nowhere, can I? Not like I even have the authority to do so anyway, that's Erwin's thing. Or maybe Zackley's, I don't know." He sighed slightly. "Do you even know what this is?"

"Um...it's a portrait, sir?"

"Not quite," Levi said, sounding a bit amused. "This is something called a _photograph._ People took them with a little square device called a _camera._ It was kind of like...making an instant, very high-quality painting, I suppose. They were quite common before the Titans came, from what I understand."

"Huh?" Jean was confused. Why was Levi explaining this to him, instead of meting out punishment? And what was all this talk about photographs and cameras? Making a painting instantly sounded like crazy talk to Jean. Even the fastest painters took a few weeks to produce quality work, and some paintings took months or even a year to finish. No device could possibly ever mimic that kind of work. He wondered if spending the last two days on the brink of death had somehow addled Levi's mind. "How do you know all this, sir?" He asked.

"Hanji has some very old books about this kind of stuff. Highly illegal contraband, of course, but since when has that shitty four-eyes ever cared about a little thing like the law? Anyway, I've flipped through a few of them while she was busy ranting and raving on about Titans." Levi sounded almost fond of the Squad Leader to Jean, which only served to deepen the amber-eyed soldier's confusion.

"Sir..." Jean found himself asking again. "If I might ask a question...what do you think happened to those people in the, um, photograph?" Jean regretted the words as soon as they were out of his mouth. _Stupid, stupid, do you want him to get angry with you? You already disobeyed his orders, don't fuck it up even worse!_

Levi turned away from Jean to stare into the fire. For what felt like a very long time, the Corporal was silent. His hand had resumed stroking Eren's hair. Jean was just about to apologize for being so forward and beg for Levi's forgiveness, when the shorter man finally spoke. "What do you _think_ happened to them?"

Now it was Jean's turn to be quiet. What the hell had he expected Levi's answer to be? That the people in the photograph had somehow managed to survive? That they'd managed to find a place to live out their lives free of fear? Some kind of reassurance that it was possible to be free and happy in a world of monsters? _Stupid..._ "I know they were probably eaten by Titans, sir. I'm sorry I asked you such a dumb question..." He looked away from Levi's eyes, made somehow even more intense by the firelight, and stared at a bit of dirt on his boots.

Levi's response surprised him. "Kirschtein, I'm not going to punish you for curiosity. In any sane world, curiosity is a virtue that should be encouraged. Which is why I'm not going to punish you for disregarding my orders, this time. So you can relax, I'm not about to bite your head off."

The unexpected praise had Jean looking back up at the Corporal, wide amber eyes meeting steadfast gray. "Thank you, Captain," he said softly. He could have sworn in the next instant that Levi had smiled, just a little bit. It could have been a trick of the firelight, however, because any hint of a smile was gone in the next instant.

Levi was surprisingly relaxed, very much unlike the hardass Titan killer whose only thoughts seemed to center on keeping Jean, Eren, and himself alive. Jean had never guessed that the Corporal would have this softer, caring side hidden away. He wanted to find out more about Levi while the opportunity presented itself, so that the man wouldn't be such an enigma. So Jean kept talking. "When did you see your first Titan, sir? I didn't see a real one until Trost, myself. It was...terrible. A thousand times worse than anything I learned about Titans during basic training." Jean laughed, a dry, humorless sound. _Great. I wanted to have a conversation, and instead I'm telling Captain Levi about how much of a scaredy-cat I am. Good going, Jean._

"You're right, there's no way to prepare for seeing a Titan," Levi agreed. "Those crappy wooden targets they have you practice with in basic aren't even close. And no amount of lecturing in a classroom will help when you're facing one of those bastards down." There was another long moment of quiet before Levi spoke again, his voice a soft murmur over the flickering flames. "I saw my first Titan on my first expedition outside the Walls. I'd only been in the Survey Corps for a few months at the time. Seeing one of them for the first time scared the piss out of me." He snorted slightly. "Literally."

Jean's eyes went wide at the thought of Humanity's Strongest wetting his pants in front of a Titan. "I pissed myself too," he admitted, feeling less bad about it now that he knew Levi had had the same reaction to seeing a Titan for the first time as well.

"Most soldiers do, the first time they see one. You never get quite used to seeing a Titan, after all. You stop pissing your pants, but the fear and panic don't go away. You just learn to control them, to channel those emotions into anger, so that you can fight."

Jean nodded, his eyes falling once more to Levi's hand in Eren's hair. "Captain Levi, sir...could I ask you a personal question?"

Levi narrowed his eyes slightly. "You can, but I might not answer it."

Jean spoke quickly, wanting to ask the question before he lost his nerve. "What are your feelings towards Eren, sir?"

Now it was Levi's turn to look surprised. "Well, that's something I'm trying to figure out," he replied. "I'd like to discuss things with Eren when he wakes up, and we'll figure out where to go from there. No matter what happens though, I won't neglect you out here, Kirschtein. Your well-being is just as important to me as Eren's."

Jean nodded. "He likes you, you know," he said without thinking. Immediately afterwards, the amber-eyed soldier's face took on a panicked expression. "I- I mean," he stuttered, "that he respects you as a commanding officer, sir, and - "

Levi chuckled - actually _chuckled_ \- and the shock of hearing that sound from _Levi_ of all people caused Jean's words to die in his throat. "I figured that out already," Levi said. "The brat's incredibly obvious about his feelings. Eren and I will need to talk about it later." Levi yawned slightly, stretching his arms up above his head as he got to his feet. "Time to turn in for the night, Kirschtein. We'll have a long-ass day tomorrow, I'm sure." The Corporal picked Eren up and started walking to their crude shelter for the night.

"Captain Levi," Jean said, getting to his feet as well and throwing a few extra branches onto the fire. "If you'd like...you can call me Jean. It's a lot easier than saying 'Kirschtein,' I think."

This time, Jean knew he wasn't imagining it. Levi was smiling. It was just the tiniest quirk of the lips, but Jean knew it was genuine. "No one's actually had the balls to say that to me before," he said. "Alright, Jean. Get under the log and go to sleep."

Just as he was about to duck under the log with Eren in tow, Levi paused and turned back to Jean. "As long as we're out here...you can just call me Levi. There's no one to get on my ass about military protocol, after all. Now don't get me wrong, you need to address me by my proper rank when we return to the Walls." He gave the amber-eyed soldier a stern look to make sure the message had gotten through, but it lacked any anger or malice.

Jean grinned. "Sure thing...Levi."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, Levi and Jean are such dorks. :3 I love them to bits.
> 
> (Eren is a dork too, but he spent this entire chapter unconscious. YA MISSED OUT, EREN. XD)
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who left comments and kudos, as usual. You're all darlings. *kissu*
> 
> Let's hope I can get the next update out in less than a month. I'm sorry again, everyone. u.u Look forward to some sweet Ereri action next chapter, and maybe some smut as well~.


	11. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren and Levi decide that it's time to end the UST and finally start a relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully you've all come to expect an incredibly irregular update schedule from me by now. I must be the world's slowest writer, honestly. u.u Doesn't help that I had no motivation to write last week, either. But I finally got my butt in gear and finished this up. Please don't hate me? *hides*
> 
> This chapter is, I'm sure, the one you've all been waiting for. Mainly because there's smut in it. ;) Levi and Eren don't go all the way (yet), but they do fool around a little bit. 
> 
> Enjoy, darlings~

Eren had no idea where he was or how long he'd been lying in bed for, and he honestly couldn't care less at the moment. This had to be the most comfortable bed in the universe, a far cry from his uncomfortable and cold sleeping arrangements down in the dungeons. Eren felt as if he was floating on a warm, soft cloud wrapped in clean, fresh white linens. His head rested on fluffy pillows stuffed with down, and a warm, soft wool blanket was pulled up around his shoulders. 

Just lying still on that bed, surrounded by warmth and softness on all sides, felt like heaven after weeks on end of sleeping on cold, hard surfaces. Lately, Eren had been trying to deal with the misery of trying to sleep while pressed against Jean's sweaty, snoring body on one end, and desperately fighting down an erection from the closeness of Levi's body on the other end. There was no longer any need to lie awake for hours on end, watching the moon and stars wheel in the dark sky overhead while a thousand different worries gnawed at Eren's stomach: _Are Mikasa and Armin OK? Did the rest of Squad Levi make it back inside the walls safely? Is the rest of the Survey Corps out looking for us right now? How are we going to get enough food to survive out here? What if Jean or Captain Levi gets sick? What if the Titans come and eat us while we're asleep? And all of these stupid feelings I have for Levi..._

"Eren?" He drowsily turned his head to the side to see Levi, curled up in bed next to Eren and smiling at him, actually _smiling._ Eren felt his cheeks heat up at the warm, loving gaze Levi was giving him, as if Eren was a priceless treasure that he would never tire of looking at. Levi laughed slightly at Eren's blush, and Eren's bright eyes widened in surprise. Smiling was one thing, but _laughing?_ Eren felt a warm, light feeling invade his chest and stomach at the thought of his Corporal smiling and laughing at him. _For_ him. It felt as if he could simply float up off the bed, he was so happy. He grinned back at Levi, who pressed closer to him under the blanket.

Eren's blush deepened further upon the realization that he and Levi were both stark naked. Had they...had they _done it?_ Eren didn't feel any pain, but then again he only had the vaguest ideas about how sex worked. Growing up, staying alive had been more of a priority than sex ed had been. Mikasa was going to kill him. Or Levi. Most likely she'd kill Levi.

Levi's smile only deepened at Eren's blushing, nervous face. _Holy hell, he has dimples,_ Eren found himself thinking. The Corporal reached out a pale hand and gently caressed Eren's cheek. His skin was warm and callused from endless hours of wielding his blades in battle. Eren found himself leaning into the touch, smiling slightly. The pleasantly warm, light feeling returned as Eren reveled in the fact that finally, at long last, Levi was touching him. It was as if all of Eren's wet dreams and wild fantasies had come true, and it was wonderful.

"Eren?" Levi whispered, his breath ghosting across Eren's skin as he leaned forward to press a gentle kiss to his subordinate's forehead. "Eren, I need you to do something for me."

"Hmm...anything..." Eren murmured, wrapping an arm carefully around Levi's nicely muscled torso. Right now, he just wanted to cuddle with Levi like this forever.

"I need you to wake up," Levi whispered softly into the turquoise-eyed soldier's ear.

Eren pulled back slightly, brow furrowing in confusion. "What do you mean, _wake up?_ I am awake."

Levi didn't clarify, merely continued to smile at Eren. He caught the fingers of Eren's hand and began to caress them softly. "You need to wake up, Eren. Wake up. Come back to me."

"Huh...?" Eren didn't have any idea what the Corporal was talking about. Had Levi been hit on the head or something? Why was he talking nonsense, when Eren was clearly awake and with him right now?

"Wake up, Eren," Levi repeated, whispering it over and over like a mantra. His smile didn't fade, but Eren noticed that Levi's words had taken on a slight edge of desperation. "Please come back..."

_...wake up..._

_please wake up..._

Eren became acutely aware of a harsh pounding inside his head. It felt as if a Titan had decided to use his skull as a drum. _So it was just a dream..._ Groaning, he opened his eyes, blinking them several times until his vision sharpened into focus. He was met with the rough bark of a fallen tree over his head, and the crackling warmth of a fire nearby. His entire body felt stiff and sore all over from lying on the cold, hard ground. "Uuuggghh..." Eren groaned, lifting a hand and pressing it against his aching forehead. Even that simple effort took as much effort as dragging a sack of weights across the training grounds would.

"You're awake," Levi's voice came from somewhere nearby. It sounded rough from equal parts exhaustion and relief. Eren turned his head slightly to see the Corporal sitting next to him, wearing his crude deerskin robe and holding a 3D Maneuver Gear part full of water. Levi's skin looked paler than usual, and the circles under his eyes seemed darker. Had he stayed up to watch over Eren all this time?

"Mmm...Capatin Levi...?" Eren mumbled. He still felt pretty out of it. "How long...was I asleep for?"

"About a day and a half. Sit up slowly, alright?" Levi's firm, strong hands positioned themselves at Eren's head and back, helping to gently guide the turquoise-eyed soldier into a sitting position by the fire. Eren's head spun slightly from the movement, and he winced as the muscles in his back popped. "Now drink this." Levi handed Eren the container of water, which he eagerly began to gulp down. His throat felt like thick, gummy sandpaper after so long asleep. Levi snatched the container back almost immediately. " _Slowly,_ brat. Don't make yourself sick, now."

Eren nodded and reached for the water again. Sighing slightly, Levi brought the container back up to Eren's lips. The turquoise-eyed soldier wrapped his hands around the cool metal before Levi had a chance to let go. Eren's fingers wove over Levi's own, trapping his hand in place against the old 3D Maneuver Gear part. Eren's fingers were warm and slightly callused, and the touch was far from unpleasant. Levi found himself enjoying the way their hands and fingers fit together as Eren resumed drinking, more slowly this time. 

When the container was half-empty, Eren let go of it completely, allowing Levi to put it down next to the fire. For once, the brat wasn't blushing at how close they had been. Probably Eren had been too thirsty to dwell on it. The turquoise-eyed soldier wiped his mouth, tucked his knees up to his chin, and stared intently at the fire, as if the flickering flames held the answers to all of life's mysteries. Levi could tell by the pained look in Eren's eyes and his furrowed brow that the brat was beating himself up over his transformation. It hadn't exactly gone smoothly, after all. "How are you feeling?" He asked, wanting to bring Eren out of his brooding. Nothing was worse than a moody teenager, honestly.

Eren shrugged a shoulder. "OK, I guess. My head hurts, but it's starting to feel a little better now." Eren looked at Levi, and the worry in his eyes tugged at the Corporal's heart. Damn, the brat looked so much like a kicked puppy when he was upset. "Captain Levi...I lost control again, didn't I?" Eren pressed his forehead against his knees, but not before Levi noticed the telltale sheen of tears over Eren's bright eyes. "Dammit!" Eren pounded a fist into the ground at his side. "I was so sure I could handle it this time..."

"Eren..." Levi had no idea what he was supposed to say. He'd never been any good at cheering people up. Hell, the closest thing he'd ever come to words of encouragement was yelling "don't fucking die" over his shoulder at his squad before they rode into battle. But for Eren, right now, he would try to be gentler. "Listen, Eren." Levi gently rested his hand over his subordinate's fist, causing Eren's teary eyes to meet his once more. "You performed admirably. If you hadn't transformed, we would all be rotting in a Titan's fucking stomach right now. You didn't try to hurt Jean and I at all."

"But what did I _do,_ sir!?" Eren practically shouted frustration evident in his voice. "I remember transforming and beating in a Titan's skull, but after that...nothing. Why can't I _remember_ anything?" A lone tear slid down the brat's cheek, and Levi fought down the urge to reach up and wipe it away. _Damn this kid. I haven't felt soft like this for anyone in at least a decade._

"You didn't really do much of anything, brat," Levi said, a bit of his usual gruffness returning. "Just ran around for a bit in the woods, and I had to cut you out, is all. Don't be so damn hard on yourself over this. What matters is that we all survived."

"I need to learn how to control myself, though!" Eren replied, running an annoyed hand over his already messy hair. "I'm no use to anyone if I pass out for over a day after each transformation, and then you guys need to take care of me! I'll only slow you and Jean down, and we'll never make it back to the Walls...we'll just freeze to death out here!"

"Eren, look at me," Levi said harshly. Eren recognized an order when he heard one, and so he lifted his face up to meet Levi's. "Look, I'm no good at this kind of shit, so I'm only going to say it once. Do you know what people call us? Not soldiers, but the regular civilians living out their lives inside the Walls?"

"Uh, well..." Eren sounded confused, and Levi couldn't really blame him. He had no idea where he was going with this, either. "Well, they call you Humanity's Strongest, sir."

"Right. And do you know what people call _you_ on the streets, Eren? The people who are just trying to get by, scrounging together enough food to feed themselves and their families? The people who are living out their lives as best they can, inside those miserable, shitty Walls?"

Eren looked down at his knees once more and mumbled something. "What was that?" Levi said. "I couldn't hear you, brat. Look at me and repeat what you just said."

This time when Eren met Levi's gaze again, there was a spark of that usual, familiar fire in his eyes. "They call me Humanity's Last Hope, sir." The way his shoulders slumped told Levi all he needed to know about the weight that title heaped onto Eren. The responsibility of being the only known person who could truly make a difference in humanity's fight for survival was so huge that it might as well be a physical burden. Levi felt the same way whenever he was called "Humanity's Strongest."

"Exactly," Levi murmured. "'Humanity's Last Hope, and Humanity's Strongest. As much as we dislike those titles, they represent what the people think of us. The people inside those walls are putting their very futures into our hands. They are fucking counting on us to free them from Titans, from the shitty-smelling prison that they're currently trapped in."

Eren was staring at him in shock. Levi didn't blame him. He had no idea where the hell this little speech was coming from or where it was going. Levi could only keep saying the words as they popped into his head and hope for the best. "This is why we _have_ to return to the Walls, Eren. You won't lose control of your damn Titan form and die out here because I won't _let_ you. Just like I'm certain you won't let me die out here in the middle of fucking nowhere, either. And neither of us will let Jean die. We _will_ return to the Walls, because all of humanity is fucking _counting_ on us. They've put their fates in us, and it is our duty not to let them down."

Levi sighed heavily at the finish. _Damn, that was hard._ "I hope you were listening the first time around, because I'm not fucking doing that again," he said to Eren, who looked a bit shell-shocked at this point.

"You..." Eren started, hesitantly. He stopped for a moment, as if collecting his thoughts, then continued. "You...called me by my first name, sir. Not Jaeger, or brat. And you called horseface by his first name, too...Where _is_ Jean, anyway?" Eren looked around the campfire, just now realizing that his comrade wasn't present. Knowing Jean though, he was about to pop out from behind a bush with some snarky comment, the bastard.

Levi snorted. "Is that _really_ what you're going to focus on, out of everything I just said? And Jean's gone to check on some of the animal traps he set while you were asleep. He should be back in a little bit. You fucking _brat._ " He enunciated the last word on purpose, and Eren laughed. A genuine, happy laugh for the first time in what seemed like forever, and it made Levi's heart skip a beat to hear it.

The next thing he knew, Eren had thrown himself forward into Levi's arms. The Corporal's eyes went wide at the impact. He should have known - Eren never did anything gently. All of his movements were filled with that passionate intensity that had drawn Levi to him in the first place. Almost automatically, Levi's arms went up to wrap around Eren's shoulders, holding his warm body close. "Thank you, sir," Eren mumbled into his neck, his voice hitching slightly. Levi felt wetness there, which meant that Eren was crying again. Levi rubbed gentle circles into Eren's shoulders with one hand, trying to soothe the turquoise-eyed soldier. 

How long had Levi wanted to do this for? To just hold Eren close, feeling his heart beat wildly against his own, feeling his too-warm body pressed against his? Levi vaguely wondered if maybe he _had_ died, and this was his reward for having put up with so much shit while he was alive. But all of a sudden, it seemed that Eren realized just what the hell he was doing. The brat was pulling himself away, face flushed red as a tomato. "I - I'm sorry, Captain Levi, I have no idea what came over me, I won't - " Eren stammered.

"Oh, for _fuck's sake,_ " Levi muttered. Without really thinking about anything beyond the fact that he wanted Eren's body close to his own again, he moved forward and pressed his lips firmly against Eren's.

"Mmph!" Eren cried out, as whatever he'd been about to say next was so quickly stifled. The turquoise-eyed soldier flailed his arms slightly, as if trying to get away, but Levi grabbed his wrists in one hand and wrapped the other around the back of Eren's neck, drawing the boy closer to himself. Eren sighed slightly into his Corporal's mouth, and pushed himself against Levi once more, now returning the kiss with fervor.

Levi had no idea if Eren had kissed anyone before - and frankly, he didn't want to think too hard about that prospect - but the brat certainly wasn't experienced. Eren kissed as if he was trying to devour Levi's mouth. He couldn't deny that it felt wonderful, that the intensity of it all was stirring Levi's cock up to strain against the front of his stupid animal skin robe. Eren's lips were slightly chapped from the cold, and just the furious yet strangely gentle slide of his tongue against Levi's own was more fucking arousing than it had any right to be. The rich taste of him filled Levi's mouth, and he knew he had to stop now, before things went any further. Levi needed to make sure Eren was OK with all of this before he did anything else.

The Corporal gently but firmly brought his hands up and pushed Eren back slightly. Eren's lips were red and slightly swollen, his hair even more mussed up than usual. The brat looked at Levi, pupils blown wide and hazy with want, and it took all of Levi's self-control not to just take him then and there. "Eren," he murmured, looking straight into his subordinate's bright, beautiful eyes. "I've known for a while now that you've had feelings for me."

Eren's face went redder than Levi had thought was humanly possible. The brat's cheeks could have been mistaken for ripe tomatoes at a distance. "H-huh?" He stuttered. "But - but - you _knew?_ Sir, I didn't mean any disrespect - "

Levi placed a finger across Eren's lips, effectively silencing him. "Shut up," he said, though the words lacked any sort of venom. "You wear your heart on your sleeve, brat, it's impossible for anyone with eyes to _not_ know what you're thinking. Listen," he leaned forward slightly to rest his forehead on Eren's, his murmured words ghosting across Eren's mouth and sending a shiver down Eren's spine. "I'll admit that your feelings are...reciprocated. I've had my eye on you for quite some time, actually."

Eren leaned back, putting a few inches between himself and his commanding officer. A myriad of different emotions were flickering across his vibrant eyes. Shock and confusion most of all, but there was a giddy sort of happiness mixed in as well. "I - I don't understand, sir. Are you...saying that you actually want to - "

"Yes Eren, I want to, for lack of a better way to put it, _have a relationship with you._ And while we're stuck out here in the ass-end of nowhere, I want you to call me Levi. Just Levi, no 'Captain' or 'Sir.' Of course, you'll have to address me properly once we return to the Walls - as long as there are other people around, that is."

Eren's face went, if possible, even redder. Seriously, there was no way that was healthy. "I told Jean he could do the same while we're out here," Levi added, hoping to make Eren feel more at ease. It didn't work as well as he'd hoped.

"You - you told _horseface_ he can call you by your first name?! Who are you and what have you done with Captain Levi?" Eren sputtered. 

Levi resisted with some difficulty the urge to roll his eyes. "Look brat, will you or won't you?"

"Wh-what?"

"Eren, you can't possibly be this stupid. Do you or do you not wish to have a fucking relationship with me? I'll understand if you don't want to." Levi's heart sunk at saying those words, but he knew that this had to be Eren's choice. He certainly couldn't force Eren into a relationship. "I'm quite a bit older than you, and I'm your commanding officer as well. These types of relationships aren't _forbidden,_ exactly, but they're certainly...unconventional. I'm not planning on advertising it if you and I get together, but people talk and these things have a way of getting out. People might give us looks. Some people will certainly disapprove. People will definitely fucking talk about us. Will you be ready for all of that?"

Eren's mouth worked furiously for a moment, but no words came out. He gave up trying after a moment and just threw himself forward into Levi's arms once more. This time Levi wrapped his arms firmly around him and held Eren tight against his chest. He could feel the fierce beating of Eren's heart against his own once more, and it felt wonderful. After a moment, Eren looked up at him and smiled slightly. "I'd like nothing more, Levi." He said his commanding officer's name slowly, relishing the way those two syllables sounded without a title attached to them. 

Levi smiled back, a true and unmistakable smile, for the first time since Eren had met the man. It made Eren feel pleasantly warm all over to see it. Levi gently lifted Eren's chin up with two fingers and drew him once more into a deep kiss. This one was much less frantic than the first, a slow, sensual slide of tongues and lips. Levi used each swipe of his tongue against Eren's, each soft press of lips, to teach the boy how to kiss properly rather than trying to bite Levi's mouth off. His brat proved to be quite the eager student, and with each swipe of tongue, and gentle nip of teeth, Eren caused Levi to become more and more aware of his hard cock pressing insistently against his thigh. A quick glance downward at the conspicuous bulge in Eren's trousers showed that he was clearly dealing with a similar problem.

Once again, Levi broke their kiss. The both of them stared at each other with lust-blown eyes, panting heavily as if they'd just run a mile. Eren moaned slightly, leaning forward in the hope of more kisses, but Levi put up a hand to stop him. "Eren," he murmured, leaning in close. "I want to put my mouth on you."

Eren's eyes went wide, and he reeled backwards so fast that he fell over onto his back. The bulge of his confined cock seemed even more prominent from this angle. "Uh - what?! Sir - I mean, Levi - do you mean - ?"

" _Yes_ brat, it means that I want to suck your cock," Levi practically growled out, his persistent arousal making it difficult to keep his patience. "Is that alright?"

"Well, I mean - I've got the general idea of it, but - I've never - " Eren continued to sputter, and it was just so awkward and endearing that Levi had to lean forward to kiss him again. 

"Don't worry," Levi whispered against Eren's lips. "I'll make you feel good." He lowered himself over the turquoise-eyed soldier, caging Eren's body between two powerful arms. Levi slowly undid the button of Eren's pants, causing him to whimper and squirm a bit at Levi's proximity to his most sensitive place. Things only got worse when Levi caught Eren's fly between his teeth, carefully pulling it down to reveal the brat's boxers.

As much as he wanted to take his time and pleasure Eren slowly, Levi knew that Jean could come back at any moment. It would lead to no end of awkwardness, and mortified embarrassment on Eren's end, if Jean were to catch them mid-blow job. So Levi settled for pulling Eren's pants down to his knees, taking his boxers down with them. The ground was warm enough this close to the fire, so at least he didn't need to worry about either of them being too cold. Eren helped Levi along by lifting his hips up, letting out a sigh of relief as his cock was finally exposed to the air. It stood tall and proud, a bead of clear white precum leaking from the tip. Levi gently swiped the bit of liquid away with his thumb, causing Eren to let out a soft moan and buck his hips slightly. Levi couldn't help chuckling slightly. He'd barely even done anything, and he already had Eren this aroused. The boy was truly sensitive. 

Levi bent down, the tips of his short black hair brushing against Eren's thigh and making him let out a breathless giggle, that quickly became another moan when Levi blew gently across the tip of his dick. "Please...Levi, please," Eren gasped.

Levi let out a soft, dark chuckle. "Please what, Eren? What would you like me to do here, hm?" A callused thumb began to tease Eren's slit ever so gently, causing him to buck up once more in the hope of getting more contact. "Your cock is so hard right now, after all. It can't be very comfortable for you."

_"Levi!"_ Eren cried out. "Please stop teasing me. Just do something, anything. I don't care what. Just...touch me. _Please._ "

"As you wish," Levi murmured, and he leaned his head down to give a long, slow lick down the length of Eren's dick. Eren watched, transfixed, as Levi gently put the head of his cock into his mouth and started to suck.

"Ahhh! Ah! Levi! Levi, Levi, Levi!" Eren cried out. The wet suction and heat surrounding him now felt absolutely _wonderful,_ ten times better than any of his fantasies. He instinctively tried to buck his hips, tried to fuck Levi's warm mouth, but quickly found himself held down by Levi's hands. Warm, strong warrior's hands, touching Eren exactly as he'd wanted. His cock gave a twitch at the thought.

"Don't fucking do that, Eren," Levi said warningly. "I have a gag reflex just like anyone else, and I don't think you'll like it if I get puke all over your dick. Be a good boy and stay still, alright?"

"OK, OK," Eren moaned. He would have done anything at this point to get Levi's mouth back on his dick. That mouth which was swollen and red, and which was still connected to his dick by a thin strand of saliva. "I won't move, OK? Just...please..."

Levi's mouth went back down on him, and he bobbed his head until he'd taken in all of Eren's dick. He hollowed his cheeks and sucked firmly, swallowing down the salty taste of precum and Eren's skin. It tasted pretty clean, actually. Of course, any member of Levi's squad was bound to have some ridiculously good hygiene after awhile. _Not bad,_ he couldn't help thinking to himself. He thought of Eren washing his dick, of his subordinate keeping himself nice and clean just for Levi, and his cock twitched against his thigh. 

Eren was practically howling now, Levi's name mixed in with random, incoherent babble. He was wriggling and squirming underneath Levi's hands, and the Corporal knew that if he let up his firm hold on the brat he would absolutely start bucking up into Levi's mouth again. Still, with the way he could feel Eren's balls tightening, it couldn't be too much longer...

"Levi...Levi, I'm gonna, I'm gonna..." Eren was babbling now, his hands reaching out to grasp Levi's wrists. He just wanted to have something to _hold,_ as it felt like he was falling to pieces with pleasure.

_Come for me, brat,_ Levi thought, and gave one last hard, firm suck. He relaxed his throat just as Eren's cock spasmed and the boy released with one last cry of Levi's name. Levi swallowed down Eren's thick, salty cum, grimacing at the taste. _Gross._ Still, swallowing the stuff down was neater than just spitting it out on the ground. Less mess. And he couldn't deny that it made him feel good to have brought Eren, _his_ Eren, such pleasure.

But Levi had a more pressing problem. Literally. His cock felt like it was trying to pierce its way out of his boxers - the one item of clothing he'd felt was reasonably clean enough to wear after the events of a few days ago. Long past caring about what Eren would think, he yanked up the hem of his deerskin robe and pulled down his boxers, hissing out a relieved _"Fuck"_ when his cock was finally free. It stood up proudly, the tip red and leaking, much as Eren's had been earlier.

Not wanting to pressure Eren, Levi would have been content to just jack off in front of him. But then he felt a warm, long-fingered hand gripping his cock firmly, and Levi looked up to see Eren hovering above him. The brat's eyes were gleaming with the same kind of fierce determination Levi normally saw whenever the subject of killing Titans was brought up around Eren. His cock started to leak even more profusely at the sight.

But even though he never wanted Eren to let go, even though his firm grip around Levi's cock felt better than _anything,_ Levi still had to make sure Eren was comfortable. Things were all moving so quickly, much more quickly than Levi had intended. Of course, nothing ever went as intended when it came to Eren Jaeger. "Eren," Levi said, voice husky with arousal, "you don't have to."

"I know," Eren replied. "But I _want_ to, Levi. I want to make you feel good." He leaned in and captured Levi's lips in a brief kiss. Levi felt more than saw the brat smile slightly as Eren whispered, "I'm pretty sure I know how to jerk off, after all."

"There's a difference between masturbating and getting someone else off, brat," Levi muttered, but any further words were quickly scattered away when Eren's hand _moved._ Levi's head fell backwards as Eren's hand moved slowly up and down the length of his cock. _"Eren,"_ he hissed as Eren wet his thumb in the precum that was now dripping steadily out of his slit. He slowly stroked the vein on the underside with his wet thumb. Too slowly. " _Faster,_ Eren."

The turquoise-eyed soldier laughed, a husky sound that made Levi's dick throb. "Seems like I'm doing something right, huh?"

"Shut the fuck up, brat," Levi growled, and it must have come out sounding at least a little threatening, because Eren's hand started to move more quickly. Levi thrust up into it with abandon, letting Eren know with gasps and moans and the occasional breathless order exactly how he liked to be touched. Eren gripped Levi's manhood firmly, and it seemed like his fingers were everywhere - skimming around the head, dipping into the slit, playing along the base - and Levi just couldn't _take it_ anymore -

He came with a sharp cry of Eren's name, spurts of white splashing onto his belly. He went limp and boneless, breathing deep and enjoying the sensation of Eren gently stroking his inner thigh. "Brat, how the hell are you that good at giving handjobs? You're supposed to be a virgin, aren't you?"

Eren laughed slightly. "I'm glad I was able to make you feel good, Levi," he murmured, leaning forward to gently kiss Levi on the lips. Some of his semen had landed on Eren's face, and the sight of it could have made Levi hard again if he hadn't just had an orgasm.

Whatever smugness Eren might have felt at reducing his commanding officer to putty was short-lived, as soon as Levi shoved a handful of half-melted snow at him. "Wash up brat, you're dirty." Eren groaned, but he knew better than to challenge Levi on matters of cleanliness. He scrubbed his face and hands, wincing as the cold snow bit at his skin. At least Levi was cleaning himself in the same way.

There was a soft sound to their right, like someone was clearing their throat. Levi's hand was on the hilt of his sword by the time he realized it was only Jean, holding a dead rabbit and a dead crow from the traps in his hands. "Fuck, give a bit of warning next time," Levi sighed harshly, forcing himself to relax. 

"Good to see you're finally awake, Eren," Jean said, a bit too cheerfully. "Also, your dick's hanging out."

Levi couldn't help laughing as Eren yelped, and practically fell over in his haste to do up his fly. He stood up and took the dead animals from Jean in order to start preparing them. It was good that they'd all had today to relax, Levi thought. Eren and Jean had definitely deserved it, after all they'd been through over the past few days.

Tomorrow, the real work would begin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jean y u such a troll
> 
> Ugh. These boys are all SUCH dorks, I can't believe them. (Translation: I love them so much, and I'm terrified that Isayama is going to kill Levi. O.o)
> 
> You're probably wondering why Levi decided to finally start doing the frickle-frack with that hot piece of ass Eren after originally being quite adamant about it being inappropriate. You'll find out what made him change his mind next chapter, don't worry. :)
> 
> You guys are absolutely wonderful, omfg. All the comments and kudos just make my life. You're all lovely, amazing darlings. *smooches*


	12. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi helps Eren practice staying in control of his Titan form, with mixed but promising results.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So once again we go roughly a month before an update, because I am a lazy bum and also possibly the slowest writer in the universe. :( It didn't help that I took a break from working on this to write a thirteen-page Lovecraftian fic for the SnK kink meme. It's called "curiosity killed the cat," and you can check it out if you're into Lovecraft/SnK fusions, I guess.
> 
> This chapter has been brought to you by _Fallout: New Vegas,_ which I spent many evenings playing instead of writing this.
> 
> (I'm sorry in advance, Jean).
> 
> Anyways, enjoy!

The next morning saw Levi, Eren, and Jean all sitting around the fireplace, eating what was left of last night's dinner. Every now and again Jean would look at Eren and smirk slightly, causing Eren to blush a fierce shade of red and pay a bit more attention to his meal than was strictly necessary. Despite yesterday's events - or perhaps because of them - the turquoise-eyed soldier was wound up tighter than a watch spring. Levi thought about telling Jean to knock it off, but decided against it, since he found Eren's reaction at the slight teasing to be kind of amusing. He laid a subtle yet comforting hand on the boy's knee, which made Eren relax slightly. 

"Alright, you two," Levi spoke up, after they had finished off the remains of the wild game. "I'm not going to sugar-coat it - we're up a creek of shit without a paddle here. I have no fucking idea where we are, and neither of you do either. Not to mention, there's an assload of Titans between us and the Walls." Eren and Jean were silent, both of them staring into the fire with dull eyes. They had both known all of this already, but there was something about hearing Levi say it out loud that made Eren and Jean's hearts feel like they were sinking into their stomachs.

"The only way we're going to make it back home," Levi continued, "is if we utilize Eren's Titan powers. He's big enough that we'll be able to see where we're going, and he can fight off any Titans that stand in our way. Unfortunately, Eren isn't exactly adept at using his shifting abilities right now. As it is, we can't risk Eren transforming, since he's likely to go berserk before we're even halfway out of this shitty forest."

Eren drew his knees up close to his chest, looking for all the world like a dejected puppy. Levi gently squeezed his shoulder in a comforting gesture. Jean, meanwhile, was biting his lip and looking between the two of them nervously. "So what do you propose we do, Levi?" The amber-eyed soldier asked.

"From now on, I'm going to train Eren for a few hours a day in the afternoons." Levi explained. "He needs to learn how to stay in control while in his Titan form, and I believe that I can help him do that. Unfortunately, this means that you'll be on your own around the camp during the afternoons, Jean. I'm putting you in charge of getting water and setting traps. Eren and I will take care of hunting and gathering firewood while we're out training." 

Jean blushed slightly. The way Levi looked at him as he spoke made it clear that he was giving Jean a huge responsibility. _I'm counting on you,_ the Corporal's stern gaze seemed to say. _I'm trusting you to make sure that we have what we need here to survive._ "I - I won't let you down!" Jean said with a firm nod.

Levi smiled slightly. "Good. But don't go more than a mile from the brook, in any case. I don't want you to get lost or hurt, Jean." The Corporal stood up, dusting a bit of snow from his pants, and grabbed his pack. "Come on Eren. The sooner we get started, the better. We should be back by sunset, Jean, so just wait for us here."

Jean nodded again. "Good luck, you guys," he said, before getting up and ducking back underneath the tree to retrieve the animal traps. 

Eren grabbed his own pack and followed Levi away from the camp. For what felt to Eren like a long time, the two of them were silent save for the crunching of the snow beneath their feet, and the occasional _snap_ of a tree branch as Levi marked their path. It was as if nothing had changed between them, and yet, everything had. Eren blushed slightly at the memory of Levi's hands on him, his firm touch as he stroked and caressed Eren in all of the boy's most sensitive places. Levi's slightly chapped lips pressing against Eren's own, his tongue sliding alongside Eren's. The turquoise-eyed soldier desperately wanted to say something, but he was at a complete loss for what he should say. _Thanks for the blowjob, new boyfriend?_

Levi stopped suddenly once they reached a clearing, ringed by trees that soared high above their heads. Eren nearly ran into him, just barely managing to catch himself before he fell. "Eren," Levi said, turning to face him. "There's something I need to explain. I have a very specific reason for wanting to start a relationship with you right now, and I want you to know what it is."

Eren's heart felt as if it had stopped in his chest. He quickly tore his eyes away from Levi's to stare down at the snow. _I should have known,_ he thought miserably. _There's no way someone like the Corporal would actually want to be with me. I'm not even entirely human, after all._ Eren's throat constricted, and he bit his lip hard to keep tears from spilling out. He would _not_ cry in front of Captain Levi. "I - I understand if you don't actually want me like that," he muttered. "I'm only a private after all, and - "

Eren's words died in his throat as he felt firm fingers grasp his chin, guiding his mouth to Levi's own for a warm, gentle kiss. "Idiot," Levi muttered affectionately, as he ran his hand through Eren's hair. "Don't think for a minute that I don't have feelings for you. Since when have I ever done anything that I haven't wanted to do, Eren? Just because I had a reason for starting a relationship with you now instead of later doesn't make my intentions any less honest." He drew Eren into another brief kiss before pulling away.

Eren felt his throat relax at Levi's words. "So...then why _did_ you decide to tell me how you felt now?" He laughed slightly. "I guess now that I think about it, it's a little weird that we're starting a relationship while lost in the middle of the woods, Levi. Not that I mind, though."

Levi's hand moved to grasp Eren's. His warm, callused fingers wrapped tightly around Eren's palm, their fingers lacing together perfectly. The touch sent a delightful little shiver down Eren's back. "Eren, you and I have a connection. We're...kindred spirits, I guess, is one way to put it. Yesterday, I wanted to strengthen that connection by getting intimate with you." He smirked slightly at Eren's blush. The brat seemed to be doing that a lot today. "I've felt strongly about you, Eren, ever since I first saw you in that prison cell after Trost. I hope that I can use this connection that we have, in order to get through to you when you're in your Titan form. I want to ground you, in a sense, to try and temper that rage you feel, so that you can stay in control when you transform."

Eren nodded. "I feel strongly about you too, Levi. Not always romantically of course, but I've always felt a kind of...pull towards you, I guess. I've felt it ever since I was a little kid, watching you ride outside the Walls with the rest of the Survey Corps."

Levi smiled, the rare expression managing as always to get Eren's heart to speed up. "Alright brat, let's quit the sappy shit and get to work already. Go ahead and transform, then pick me up and place me on your shoulder when you're done. Right next to your big-ass pointy ear, so that you can hear me."

The Corporal could tell by Eren's tense stance and the furrow between his brows that the boy was nervous, but Eren's eyes still blazed with that wonderful, determined fire. Eren took a deep breath, then put his hand up to his mouth and bit down hard.

Nothing happened. For a long moment Levi and Eren were silent, simply staring at the blood dripping from Eren's hand. The wound was steaming slightly as it healed, albeit more slowly than usual. There had been plenty of times during Hanji's experiments back at HQ when Eren had failed to transform, due to lack of motivation or fear. Still Eren always had to fight to remain calm whenever he couldn't immediately transform. He didn't understand why he even had this power in the first place, and it was all too easy for him to believe that his shifting abilities had vanished as mysteriously as they had appeared whenever he wasn't able to become a Titan.

"Focus, Eren," Levi said calmly. Eren looked up to meet Levi's cool, steady gaze. "Find a reason to transform. It doesn't have to be anything complicated, if you can make a fucking Titan arm appear just by reaching for a spoon than you can find a simple reason to transform now."

Eren nodded, feeling a few nervous trickles of sweat run down his neck. The urge to make Levi proud, to live up to his commanding officer's expectations, was definitely strong enough to cause a transformation. Yet overriding that desire to please Levi was the fear of losing control, causing Eren's stomach to twist itself into knots. What would happen if he lost control of his Titan form and Levi wasn't able to cut him out in time? Would he remain a Titan for good, unable to ever return to human form?

Trying to ignore his nerves, Eren bit into his hand a second time, then a third. He hissed in pain as the blood ran steadily down his wrist, holding the injured appendage away from him in order to avoid staining his jacket. His healing abilities didn't seem to be working at all now, which was par for the course whenever Eren was unable to transform. He pressed his other hand to the wound, trying to stem the flow of blood.

"Stop, Eren. Look at me." Firm hands closed over Eren's own, causing his attention to turn to Levi. "You need to calm down. If this was a combat situation you'd already be festering inside of a Titan by now. You can't take this long to transform, brat."

"I know," Eren muttered, wondering vaguely if it was possible to feel any more embarrassed or ashamed at the moment. "I'm sorry, Levi. It's just...I don't want to hurt you. Whenever I turn into a Titan, I feel like I'm losing myself. It's...I'm scared." Eren bit his lip hating that he'd just admitted fear. He wished that Levi would stop looking at him. Eren tried to tug his hands out of Levi's grip, but the Corporal refused to let go of them.

"Do you have so little faith in me, Eren?" Levi said quietly. "Erwin put me in charge of you for a reason. He knows that I can handle it if anything should go wrong with your Titan form. I was able to cut you out the last time you transformed, and I can damn well do it again, as many times as I have to."

"But - "

"No buts," Levi said firmly. "I'll be riding beside you the whole time you're in your Titan form, brat. I can cut you out at the first sign of trouble. Listen to me, Eren - you _will_ shift into a Titan when I let go of your hands. We'll walk around for a bit and focus on just staying in control. _Trust me,_ Eren. I promised I would protect you."

For a long moment, the two of them merely looked at each other. Eren felt his heart stirring in ways he couldn't entirely explain. Despite having lost control only a few days ago, Levi still trusted Eren enough to stay by him, even while Eren was in Titan form. Levi was trying to keep Eren safe. Levi was actually _asking_ Eren to trust him.

_I won't let you down, Levi. I promise._ Eren thought fiercely. "Can you let go of my hands, please?" He asked quietly. "And you should probably step back, I don't want you to get hurt when I transform."

Levi nodded at him, then went to stand with his back against a tree at the edge of the clearing. He watched Eren bite into his hand once more, and then Levi was closing his eyes against the bright orange rush of energy as Eren successfully transformed. A moment later, Levi was blinking the stars out of his eyes and wincing as Eren roared loudly, stirring the branches in the trees overhead.

Levi stepped forward. "Alright, now let me up, brat." Eren obediently knelt down and laid a giant hand out in front of Levi, allowing the Corporal to step onto it. Levi braced himself against Eren's pinky finger as he was gently lifted up to rest on Eren's shoulder. Levi made sure to stand right next to Eren's ear, gripping a lock of long brown hair tightly in order to keep from falling. It was a long way to the ground, after all.

Levi spent a moment surveying the landscape around them, putting a hand up to shade his eyes from the glare of sun on snow. Through the sea of dark tree trunks around them, he could just barely make out the fallen tree trunk they were camping under. "Can you hear me, Eren?" Levi spoke loudly and clearly into Eren's ear. It twitched slightly in response, and Eren let out an affirmative grunt. "Good. Now, I want you to walk in that direction, towards our camp. Look where I'm pointing." He felt the shift of muscles rippling underneath skin as Eren turned his great head to see where Levi had extended his arm. The Corporal found himself staring for one long moment into the brilliantly green eyes of Eren's Titan form, before Eren turned to face forward again. He began to step forward after letting out another loud roar. Levi winced again. "Knock that roaring shit off!" He yelled into Eren's ear again. You want to attract the attention of every damn Titan around?!"

Eren let out a quieter rumble of what Levi presumed to be apology. It was hard to tell, when Eren couldn't actually speak in his Titan form. Then he started walking, giant feet lifting and crashing down again to the Earth as he wove carefully around the trees, many of which rose several feet above the head of Eren's large Titan form. He took small, steps, making sure to move slowly in order to avoid crushing too many of the smaller trees around them. Still, every stride knocked over at least two or three conifers. Levi supposed it couldn't be helped, with Eren being so large. At least the trail of splintered wood and pine needles would make it easy to tell where he and Eren had been.

As they walked, Levi made sure to take a mental note of their surroundings. From up high, it was easier to tell just where in the forest they were situated. He dearly wished for paper and a pen so that he might be able to draw a map, but in their absence Levi had to settle for making a mental catalogue of important landmarks. A large rock was to their right, a stream to their left, and just up ahead was an especially tall and thick cluster of trees. Trees that were rustling quite oddly, in fact. There wasn't much of a breeze, but the branches and leaves were moving violently all the same. It was as if some large creature was moving through them...

Levi spotted the Titan a moment before Eren did. The creature only came up a little higher than Eren's waist, but it was moving quickly. "Eren! Titan!" Levi shouted, and Eren's head whipped around to face the oncoming threat. He let out a roar loud enough to shake the trees around them, then lashed out at the Titan. One of Eren's great fists caught the thing across the jaw, causing the Titan to stumble backwards and crash against a tree trunk. Eren approached the dazed Titan slowly, growling like a feral animal.

"Easy now, Eren," Levi said. "Just kill it quickly and keep moving towards camp. Nice and easy, now."

Eren lunged forward with another fierce growl. His hand shot out and wrapped around the Titan's jaw, crushing it in his massive fist. The Titan made pitiful little howls of pain as Eren pressed its body back against the tree. Levi saw spurts of the monster's blood escape through the slight gaps of Eren's fingers, running down his hand and wrist in steaming red trails. 

In a fit of desperation, the Titan tried to bite its way free from Eren's grip, sharp teeth gnashing futilely against the thick muscle and skin of Eren's Titan hand. Eren let out a hiss of pain, and socked the monster in the side of its head with his other fist. He _hated_ Titans. Hated them so much, with a kind of red-hot burning fury that wasn't even found in his fellow Survey Corps soldiers. It flared up with a passion whenever he saw the monsters, and was fed by the primal anger and raw strength of Eren's Titan.

Wrapped deep inside several feet of pulsing muscle, blood, and skin at the nape of his Titan's neck, Eren envisioned his friends getting killed by the Titans, one by one. Thomas's pale, horrified face as he slid slowly down a Titan's gullet. Mina's shriek of pain and shock as she was slammed headfirst into the side of a building by a Titan's fist. Nack's desperate pleas for help as a Titan grabbed him in midair, cut short as the monster popped Nack in its mouth and bit him in two.

Eren closed his eyes against the memories of the day Shiganshina had fallen. The Colossal and Armored Titans breaking down Wall Maria as if it was putty. Eren's mother, pinned helplessly beneath a boulder as that Titan with the nightmarish grin advanced on her. Carla crying out desperately for help as that grinning Titan bit down, reducing the woman who had cared for and raised Eren and Mikasa into nothing more than a burst of blood and guts. Hannes carrying him and Mikasa away as Eren screamed and howled and kicked with rage and horror and sorrow and a million other emotions.

_Mommy...Mommy, I'm sorry. So, so sorry...please, forgive me..._

"Eren!" Levi shouted as Eren wrapped the Titan's skull in both of his hands, crushing it as easily as a child might squash a bug. The monster's lifeless corpse fell to the ground, quickly evaporating in a thick cloud of steam. "Eren, come to your senses, dammit! Are you just going to let this Titan control you? Just - ugh!" Eren had whipped his head around so fast that Levi nearly slipped off of his shoulder, only saved from a long fall to his death by his grip on Eren's hair. "Eren, for fuck's sake, I'm going to cut you out of there - !" Levi was cut short by another loud roar, as Eren began to run in the direction of camp.

Then Levi saw what Eren had. A Titan, slowly making its way through the trees towards the brook that ran by their camp. _Jean!_ Levi thought frantically. _Fucking hell Jean, please don't be at the fucking brook right now..._ "GO, EREN!" He roared into Eren's ear as loud as he possibly could. The answering shout he heard from Eren was perhaps the first time Levi wasn't upset at how loud the brat was when he was in Titan form.

**-x-**

After finally filling up the last container with water, Jean heaved a deep sigh of relief and stood up, wiping his hands against the hem of his deerskin robe in order to dry them. He looked up at the sky, frowning slightly when he saw that the sun had only just passed its zenith. Jean felt as if he'd been working all day, carrying those heavy containers of water from the brook back to camp. Still, at least now there would be enough water for a few days. Levi said that it was a good idea to have water immediately available, in case something happened that prevented them from getting to the brook.

A loud roar echoed through the forest, causing a nervous shiver to run down Jean's spine. He'd been hearing a lot of roaring for the past few minutes, and the sound was putting him on edge. He was positive that it was Eren making the sounds, since no other Titan Jean had ever come across in his time as a soldier had ever been as loud as Eren was. Jean kept telling himself that Eren was loud even when he _wasn't_ a Titan, and that the stupid asshole was probably just trying to show off or something. Still, Jean couldn't help worrying. Not about Jaeger, of course! Jean was worried about Levi. The poor man had to spend all day dealing with Eren in his Titan form. Which had to be ten times worse than dealing with a human Eren. 

_Of course, it doesn't seem like Levi really minds being with Eren though. I bet he especially likes being with Little Eren,_ Jean thought, snickering slightly at the thought of Eren's flaccid dick hanging out of his pants. He quickly put the thought out of his mind, however, because it led to thinking about Eren and Levi naked and doing... _it._ Jean wrinkled his nose, as the thought of Eren naked was a rather undesirable one for him. 

Jean heard the rhythmic pounding of giant footsteps, causing the earth to tremble beneath his feet and ripples to spread out across the brook. He turned around, expecting to see the intense green eyes, tangled hair, and weirdly grinning skull-mouth of Eren's Titan form. "For fuck's sake, Jaeger, don't knock anything...over..." Jean's voice faded away to a whisper, his eyes going wide with horror as he faced the Titan that was quickly approaching him through the trees.

It wasn't Eren, that was for damn sure. This Titan was a bit smaller than Eren, with a rounded pudgy belly and vacant, glassy brown eyes. And Jean was pretty damn sure that Eren's Titan didn't have short red hair and a handlebar mustache. He couldn't help the slight whimper of fear that escaped his mouth at the sight of the monster. 

The Titan paused slightly upon seeing Jean, and he could have sworn that its blank eyes lit up in glee upon seeing him. Jean's legs gave out under him, and he fell to his knees with a slight moan. _This is it,_ he thought dully. _I've already escaped death twice, the third time's the charm._ The sun was suddenly blacked out by the Titan's giant hand, as it bent down and reached for Jean. He closed his eyes tight and braced himself for the end. _I'll be seeing you soon, Marco..._

A deafening roar sounded somewhere overhead, so loud that Jean toppled over onto his back, lying inches away from the brook in an awkward spread-eagle position. He cautiously opened his eyes to be met with the sight of none other than Eren Jaeger in Titan form, with Levi standing on his shoulder. Eren had just punched the Titan square in the chest, sending the monster flying away from Jean. It let out a cry of pain as it landed, dazed, against a cluster of trees to the right.

Jean's mouth fell open in shock. _Holy fuck...is this really happening?_ He thought, feeling slightly dazed by the fact that Eren Jaeger had saved him only moments before he was about to be eaten by a Titan. _I...I don't even believe this._

Meanwhile, Levi used the lock of hair he was holding to swing himself a bit closer to Eren's ear. "Kill it, Eren!" He shouted. Eren reached forward and picked the Titan up by the scruff of its neck, before throwing it down on the ground in front of him. The monster was only able to let out one last howl of pain before Eren stomped down with all his might on the nape of its neck, his massive foot severing the Titan's head from its body.

Despite the fact that Eren seemed to only have the most tenuous control over his Titan at the moment, Levi couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief. They'd managed to get there in time to save Jean, at least. Levi watched as Jean sat up, staring at Eren. Even from this height, Levi could see that Jean's mouth was hanging open in shock. "Thank you, Eren," he said, gently patting the pointed shell of Eren's ear. He was still hunched over the Titan's dissolving corpse and growling like a guard dog about to pounce on an intruder, but at least the brat wasn't running off like the last time. "You listened to me, and you've protected us all again," Levi continued. The unspoken _I'm proud of you_ hung in the air between them like a promise. Eren's ear twitched slightly, and Levi hoped that meant he understood.

Deep inside of his Titan, Eren's heavy-lidded eyes slowly opened, their bright turquoise color even more intense when surrounded by nothing but red. Levi's words came to him softly and distorted, as if Eren was floating somewhere deep underwater and Levi was speaking to him from the surface. But the meaning was still clear. _Levi's...thanking me,_ Eren thought groggily. _Nobody's dead. I...saved them?_

_Levi sounds...really proud of me. Even if he doesn't actually say so..._

_Wait a minute..._ Eren's eyes opened wider, and he became intensely aware of the fact that he was inside his Titan body. He could feel hard bone beneath his back, and the tough strands of muscle that connected Eren's human body to his Titan one. Slowly, Eren lifted his arm and touched the thick layers of heavily pulsing muscle above him. Even that slight motion felt like moving a heavy bag of sand, but Eren was still able to do it. _I have to get out of here._

With that thought, Eren began to struggle, lifting his arms up and bracing them against the fleshy walls of his Titan's neck as he began to pull himself free from his cocoon of muscle and bone. He moved sluggishly at first, then faster as strength returned to his human body. Eren felt pieces of muscle snap as he pulled himself up, clawing away at the flesh above him. A surge of determination rushed through Eren, causing him to struggle harder. _I can do this!_

Eren's right arm burst out of his Titan in a shower of blood just as a bright streak of silver carved away a chunk of flesh to his right, just barely missing his other arm. He blinked furiously as the cold afternoon sunlight shone in on him. Levi's face came into view, the Corporal staring down at him with a mixture of shock and relief. He was gripping the hilt of his blade in his left hand, which explained the silvery streak. "Eren," he said. "You're...actually conscious?"

"Yeah," Eren breathed, smiling giddily up at Levi. The other man smiled back, before taking Eren's hand in a firm grip and yanking him the rest of the way out of his Titan. Despite the fact that he was covered in steaming blood and Titan guts, Levi held Eren's body close to him, burying his other hand firmly in Eren's Titan's hair. Eren felt his stomach churn as his Titan's now empty body fell to the earth, landing with a teeth-jarring crash.

"Can you walk?" Levi asked, getting to his feet and looping Eren's arm around his shoulders. Eren nodded shakily, and Levi helped him hobble down his Titan's back to the forest floor. The moment Eren's feet touched the snowy earth below, his breath was knocked out of him by the force of another warm human body slamming into his, and two strong arms wrapped tightly around his chest in a hug.

"Fucking _hell,_ Jeager," Jean's voice sounded in Eren's ear, thick with emotion. "You saved my fucking life back there. I'd have been Titan chow if you didn't come along when you did. Holy crap, _thank you,_ man."

"Alright Jean, let him breathe," Levi said, grabbing the amber-eyed soldier by the back of his shirt and pulling him away from Eren, who had a dopey grin plastered all over his face.

"Nooo problem, Jean," Eren drawled, before pitching forward into Levi's arms and promptly losing consciousness. 

**-x-**

When Eren opened his eyes next, he was once again lying underneath the huge fallen tree trunk. He breathed deeply, and the warm savory smell of roasting meat filled his nostrils. Out past the makeshift roof he was under, Eren could see the deep blue of the night sky, speckled with stars.

"You're up, brat," said a gruff voice to his right, and Eren turned to see Levi sitting there, in the midst of skinning a squirrel. _So Jean managed to catch something after all,_ Eren thought, and frowned slightly as he realized that the amber-eyed soldier was probably better at trapping animals than Eren was at this point.

"Oi, what are you frowning for? Come here," Levi said, and Eren reeled gratefully into Levi's arms. They sat together like that for a long moment, holding each other close and breathing in each other's warm, comforting scents.

"How long was I out for?" Eren mumbled into Levi's collarbone, but the other man heard him all the same.

"Not long this time, just a few hours," Levi said, his voice filled with relief. "You didn't do badly today, it being your first day of practice and all." The Corporal's hand came up to gently stroke Eren's messy brown locks, the soft touch warm and reassuring in all the right ways.

Eren smiled into Levi's shoulders. Even though the other man hadn't said the words out loud, Eren could feel the pride and gratitude radiating from Levi. The Corporal was a man who didn't voice praise, but if you were with him for as long as Eren had been, you knew when he was saying it anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's really hard to write Levi's interactions with Eren, in part because he's so stoic. Levi isn't a man who is very touchy-feely or emotional at all. I wish he would smile once or twice in the manga, tbh. I JUST WANT LEVI TO BE HAPPY BECAUSE HE'S MY FAVORITE OK. T^T
> 
> So since I'll be starting grad school in around a week and a half as of this writing (yay!) updates might be a bit slow going forward. However, I promise that this fic will be finished, and I'll do my best to update more regularly.
> 
> Oh my gosh, over 10,000 hits on this fic?! And over 400 kudos!? And so many nice comments?! You guys honor me, seriously. I love you all. <3


	13. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi decides to move camp, and Eren makes some progress.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh. Thank you so, so much for being patient with me, everyone. Grad school is hard work. Since all of my courses this summer are each only six weeks long, and I'm taking four of them, I've been pretty much swamped with work. It's hard for me to find time to write these days, BUT I SHALL PERSERVERE. ;)
> 
> There was going to be another part to this chapter, but I decided to put it in the next chapter because it's going to be a really important Ereri moment that deserves to be on its own. And there will be porn in it too, so you can all look forward to that. :D
> 
> Anyway, without any further ado, enjoy Levi, Eren, and Jean fighting some more Titans.

It seemed that winter's icy grip over the forest was slowly but surely receding. The nights had slowly been getting warmer, enough so that Levi, Eren, and Jean only needed one layer of animal skins to cover themselves with at night, instead of two. It was practically balmy now, compared to the bone-freezing temperatures of a few weeks ago. The snow was starting to melt as well, causing the boughs of the pine trees to become heavy, the needles dripping with cold, clear water. In a few places you could even see the ground, hard and brown and covered with soggy leaf litter. There were more sunny days now, and Eren and Jean both privately thought that after so much cold and cloudy weather, the clear robin's egg blue of the sky was the most beautiful sight in the world.

The improving weather, although it meant warmer days and nights, also meant that everything was wet and heavy with melting snow. It seemed like there wasn't a dry patch of earth to be found, and no one's clothes had been properly dry for at least a week. The warming weather raised uncomfortable questions in Eren's mind about how long they'd been out in the wilderness for. What sort of horrible fate did the rest of the Survey Corps imagine had befallen the three of them? Did Armin and Mikasa think that Eren was dead? Eren tried not to picture how distraught the two of them must be, especially Mikasa.

Eren practiced transforming into a Titan every day, under Levi's diligent supervision and coaching. It was more practice than he'd ever gotten back at the old Survey Corps HQ, mainly because the hundred little daily tasks required to keep an army functioning meant that Eren was only able to shift into a Titan around twice a week. Three times, if Hanji was able to wheedle Levi into abandoning his paperwork for a few more hours in order to supervise. Out in the wilderness, however, there was a lot less to do. Levi mused that having this much time to observe Eren's Titan form would probably have made Hanji piss herself out of excitement.

Progress was slow, however. Whenever a Titan showed up, Eren would have a great deal of trouble remaining in control after killing it. He occasionally managed to, but staying in his right mind was a rare and hard-won feat for Eren while in Titan form. If there was more than one Titan, Levi would end up having to cut Eren out of his Titan's nape before the boy went on a rampage. And it was rare that they didn't run across at least one Titan during Eren's practice sessions. They seemed drawn to the light and noise that accompanied Eren's transformations, like buzzards to a decaying corpse. 

Levi had noticed that, when in Titan form, Eren found it comforting to have his ear stroked. So by a combination of talking into that great pointy ear and stroking the edge of it, Levi gave Eren something to focus on besides the rage that built up inside whenever the turquoise-eyed soldier transformed. Despite the fact that most of what Levi said was filled with expletives, Eren told Levi that he still found the Corporal's words to be comforting. Just as Levi had hoped, it seemed that he was able to keep the brat focused, at least a little bit. 

It wasn't as if all of their practice was for nothing. Eren was able to remain conscious more and more often after exiting his Titan form. He was still incredibly tired and weak after a transformation, of course, but he didn't pass out. And even when Eren did succumb to his exhaustion, he was only out for an hour or so before waking back up. Gone were the days, it seemed, when Eren remained asleep for days after transforming. His transformations seemed more stable now, as well - Eren could now stay in his Titan form for a few hours without any ill effects. Although he still seemed frustratingly far away from total control over his abilities, the bits of progress Eren had made were encouraging nonetheless.

Eren's first real test came one bright morning when Levi announced after breakfast that he wanted to move camp back to the dilapidated old cabin they had taken refuge in, what seemed like forever ago now. There were lots of reasons for doing so, of course. Since it was on a hill, the cabin provided a better view of their surroundings. It was also close to a stream, so they wouldn't need to worry about getting water. Mostly, however, Levi just wanted to get someplace drier. With all the melting snow, the ground beneath their fallen tree was starting to get uncomfortably wet at night, and the smell of rotting bark was almost overwhelming. Not to mention that the nearby brook was swollen with snowmelt, to the point where the rapidly moving currents made refilling their own water supply increasingly more dangerous. 

"From high up, I don't think I'll have much of a problem finding out where the cabin is," Levi had said, after neatly finishing off the last bit of squirrel. "The real challenge here is whether or not Eren can stay in control long enough to get us there. Eren, you know that there may be Titans along the way, and it may take some time for us to reach the cabin. Do you think that you can do it?" Levi stared intently at the younger man. _Be honest with me, Eren,_ his sharp silver gaze seemed to say. _If you really think that you can't do this, I need to know._

Eren's brow wrinkled anxiously, but his eyes were filled with the determined fire and spirit that Levi had come to love. "I won't let you down. Either of you," he said quietly, nodding at Levi and Jean. A fierce rush of affection swelled inside of Levi at Eren's words. _My stubborn-as-fuck brat._

"I'll start packing up," Jean said, leaning over to give Eren a reassuring clap on the shoulder as he got to his feet. After Eren had saved Jean's life, the amount of bickering and insults between the two had dropped off significantly. There was still the occasional muttered "horse face" or "moron," of course, but the two of them had reached a level of quiet camaraderie that Levi hadn't thought was possible. Had he been a religious man, he would have called it a miracle. As it was, Levi didn't call either of the boys out on their behavior. He didn't want to ruin a good thing - Eren and Jean's endless arguing had grated on his nerves quite a bit, after all.

With Jean's back turned, Levi couldn't resist leaning over and brushing his lips against Eren's for the briefest of moments. _"Not bad,"_ he whispered, and smirked slightly as the tips of Eren's ears went red. The boy really was too cute at times.

An hour later, Eren's huge Titan form was striding away from their former camp, with Levi and Jean riding on his shoulder. Jean looked more than a little nervous - being so high up without 3D Maneuver Gear to catch him if he fell wasn't exactly a pleasant thought, after all. Jean took a deep breath and focused his gaze ahead, out past the giant tree trunks, and towards the horizon. It was a lot less nerve-wracking than looking down at the ground.

Levi, having ridden on Eren's Titan form many more times than Jean by now, looked much more comfortable. He was leaning alongside Eren's ear, gently rubbing the patch of skin behind it. Occasionally Levi would call out a direction, such as "Turn left here," or "Stand still, I need to figure out where we are," or "Watch out for that damn tree, brat!" The Corporal's sharp silver eyes were alert and focused, darting around as he took in the landscape around them. It looked familiar enough to make Levi optimistic about finding the old cabin sometime before nightfall. It would be nice to finally have some more substantial cover at night than an old tree trunk.

For the first hour or so, everything went well. Eren's Titan form walked confidently through the forest without even a hint of losing control. Jean had even managed to relax enough to sit down on Eren's shoulder and loosen his death grip on the Titan shifter's hair. Both he and Levi were hopeful that Eren had managed to gain enough control over his Titan to make finding their way back to the Walls soon a serious possibility. For once, it seemed like things were looking up for the three of them.

Until, of course, Eren rounded a tree and nearly crashed into a group of around six Titans, ranging from five- to ten-meter classes. They'd been wandering aimlessly about, as Titans did when there was no human prey to catch. But the moment Eren stepped into view, all six of them whipped their heads around and stared at the fifteen-meter Titan now in their midst, regarding Eren and the two humans on his shoulder with their horrible, blank eyes. For a few short, heart-stopping moments, nothing happened. Eren stared at the Titans. The Titans stared at Eren. Levi tightened his grip on the sword at his side. Jean felt as if his heart had leapt into his throat and died there. 

Then one of the larger Titans let out a feral shriek and charged at Eren, its hands mindlessly groping in front of it as it made a wild grab at Levi and Jean. Eren answered with an angry roar of his own, grabbing the Titan's head in his two giant hands and pulling it right off the monster's shoulders at the nape. As the Titan's steaming corpse fell to the ground, the remaining five Titans charged.

Levi swore violently. Of fucking _course_ this had to happen, and at the absolute worst possible time. Facing down a group of Titans, with literally all of their supplies riding on the back of an unstable Titan shifter. He watched as Eren punched another Titan against a tree, and heard the sharp _crack_ of wood splintering underneath the monster's weight. Another swipe of his massive fist and the thing's head was gone as well.

"Stay calm, Eren!" Levi shouted into his ear. "We're all fucked if you can't keep it together long enough to get to that cabin!" Eren's answering roar was deafening, but for once Levi didn't mind. It meant that he was still sane enough to pay attention, after all.

Eren took care of the next three Titans with ease. He brought the head off of the smallest one with a quick swipe of his hand, then kicked its steaming body into the Titan behind it. That Titan was stunned enough by the impact for Eren to decapitate it with little trouble. "Behind you!" Levi shouted, and Eren whirled around and planted his fist into the mouth of a Titan that had been making to bite Levi and Jean off of his shoulder. The monster crashed to the ground, and the snap of its neck breaking underneath Eren's foot followed shortly afterwards. 

"I think I'm gonna be sick..." Jean muttered, clinging to Eren's hair for dear life as his body moved and rocked beneath Jean's feet. It felt a bit like riding a boat during a heavy thunderstorm, only ten times worse. He swallowed hard against the bile rising in his throat. 

"Shit!" Levi swore as the last Titan leapt at them, making a grab for Levi and Jean. He unsheathed his sword and stabbed it straight though the monster's palm, showering the two of them in a spray of hot Titan blood. The monster let out a high-pitched yelp of pain, and in one swift move Eren grabbed the Titan's arm, pulled the monster in close, and bit out the nape of its neck.

"Eren, you can stop now!" Levi shouted, once Eren's fist had broken the Titan's neck. The brat had thrown the Titan's body into the ground and was pummeling it through a haze of steam, growling like a wild animal. "Goddammit, Eren!" Levi swore, grabbing Eren's hair and making to swing around to his neck. "I'm going to cut you out of there!"

Wrapped up inside layers of muscle and sinew and bone, Eren shouted and strained against his Titan's flesh. Images of everyone who had died from the Titans flashed across his eyelids, each image of blood and death and gore worse than the last. _Mina, Thomas, Nack, Samuel, Franz, Hannah, Marco. Mommy. Mommymommymommy kill all the Titans kill them kill them KILL THEM!!!_

Through the haze of anger and bloodlust, Eren could just barely make out the sound of someone shouting at him. The sound was muffled, as if the person was very far away. He could just barely hear it if he strained his ears. _"Eren! Dammit, I'm cutting you out now, Eren! Hold still!"_ Although it was muffled, the voice was so familiar that Eren's eyes burst open, scattering the horrible images of his dead friends and family.

_Levi..._ Eren shut his eyes tightly and focused on the sound of his Corporal's voice swearing at him. He focused on the image of Levi's sharp, narrow eyes flashing like blades in the sun, and the way it felt when he held Eren close. How wonderful it had been to have Levi suck him off. Levi's reassuring presence nearby, every time Eren had transformed. Touching his ear, talking to him constantly. Keeping Eren safe, keeping him from losing control, from losing what remained of his humanity... 

_I have to keep going!_ Eren thought fiercely. _I can't let Levi and Jean down! We have to make it to the cabin! We have to make it back to the Walls..._

The effort of pushing past all of the anger and rage in order to regain control of his Titan felt like smashing through a brick wall. It made Eren feel as if his head was splitting in two. He writhed and twisted in his pulsing nest of flesh, forcing his Titan forward blindly. He heard Levi cursing and fumbling around by his Titan's neck. A moment later, there was a flash of silver and Eren was blinking up at Levi's dark silhouette against the sun, hot steam rising around him. His Titan stumbled, but Eren refused to let it fall. "Levi!" He yelled, desperate to make the other man understand. "Levi, I'm in control! It's fine, just let me keep going! I can make it!"

For a few seconds, Levi could only blink in confusion. This was the first time he'd cut Eren open and found him still lucid. "Bullshit!" He finally shouted. "Eren, I'm not risking this! If you lose control again, there's no telling what'll happen!" Levi's sword twitched, ready to cut the muscle that tethered Eren to his Titan.

"If you cut me out now, my Titan form will crush our supplies as it falls!" Eren replied. He stared at Levi, momentarily freezing the shorter man with the strength of his gaze. "Please Levi. Trust me. I can get us to the cabin, I know I can." Eren's eyes slipped closed once more with the effort of keeping his Titan upright. "Don't give up on me."

Levi's body stilled for a moment, and then Eren felt the Corporal's sword grow lax against his side. " _Fuck,_ Eren," Levi muttered. "You're a goddamn idiot. Don't move for a second while I get back up to your ear. Someone needs to navigate, and I think Jean's too busy trying not to puke to do it."

Eren grinned. "Yes sir!" He replied. Levi huffed, and Eren felt a brush of air across his Titan's cheek as the Corporal returned to his perch on Eren's shoulder. A few minutes later the flesh of the Titan's nape had healed over completely, and Eren was once more in control of his hulking, fifteen-meter tall Titan form.

Each step forward for Eren was comparable to heaving a bag of sand and rocks across an open field on a hot summer's day. Deep inside his Titan, he clenched his eyes shut and focused all of his energy on moving through the forest. The pulse of Eren's Titan body reverberated through his human one like a great drum, and he felt as if he would fly apart were it not for the cords of muscle pinning him to his Titan's neck. Eren knew that he was moving more sluggishly than normal, could practically feel Levi's concern through the strong hand resting on the tip of his ear. _Just keep on going..._ Eren thought to himself, clenching his human jaw so hard that he felt his teeth grind against each other. _Just keep on going..._

The trees were starting to blur into an endless mess of black against the gray of the melting snow, and despite his best efforts, Eren didn't think he could keep going for much longer. Then he heard Levi and Jean shouting, and with a great effort he raised his Titan's head and looked forward. Sure enough, there was a hill up ahead, and Eren could just barely make out the tiny speck of the cabin in front of them. He grinned fiercely, and let out a low, triumphant growl. A moment later came the sound of Levi's blades cutting through his Titan's nape once more. Then Eren was blinking up at the setting sun, as Levi's arm gripped his own tightly.

"I...I did it," Eren said breathlessly.

"Yes," Levi told him solemnly, but Eren could see the pride his Corporal had in him, dancing behind his eyes as clear as day. "You did it, Eren."

"That's great," Eren grinned happily, and then promptly passed out, darkness falling over his eyes like a heavy curtain.

"Oh thank the Walls, we've made it," Jean murmured, once Eren's Titan had hit the ground. He stumbled off of the quickly disintegrating body, and threw up into the nearest bush.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it's so short, you guys. Still, at least you all know I'm not dead.
> 
> We're getting near the end of this fic now - I estimate another three chapters, plus another Jean Interlude and an Epilogue. About damn time, since I've been writing this since October. I'm slow OTL.
> 
> (seriously Jean WTF you dork)


	14. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi finally gets to the root of Eren's anger issues. Also, sex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Explicit sex scene ahoy! Not that I think any of you mind that at this point, but it's always good to let people know what they're getting into beforehand.

When Eren next awoke, blinking the sleep blearily from his eyes, he was indoors. Truly _indoors,_ for the first time in weeks. He could feel hardwood boards beneath his back, and Eren never thought he'd be so happy to actually be sleeping on the floor in his life. He moved to rub his eyes, only to find himself wrapped up tight in both his own Survey Corps cloak and, from the smell of it, Levi's as well. After months of sleeping pressed up close to the man, Eren would recognize Levi's sharp, masculine scent anywhere. He smiled slightly at the thought of Levi covering him up as he slept.

It was pitch dark inside the cabin, save for the low, flickering flames of the fire and a few thin, silvery beams of moonlight slanting in from the dirty, broken window to Eren's left. A faint snore coming from a lump of animal skins next to the fire told Eren that Jean was fast asleep. Sitting across from the fire was Levi, bent over his Survey Corps jacket and, from the looks of it, trying to mend a tear in the sleeve. His jet black hair had fallen forward around his eyes, so that Eren could only see Levi's mouth, set in a thin line as he concentrated on his task. He slowly sat up, squirming a bit in order to disentangle his arms from the cloaks.

Levi's head whipped around at the sound of movement, but he relaxed as soon as he saw that it was Eren. "Finally awake?" He asked, going to Eren's side and gently removing his cloak. Eren immediately leaned into Levi's side, and the Corporal brought a hand up to stroke his hair. "How are you feeling, brat?"

"OK," Eren murmured. "My head hurts a little, but it's not too bad." He wrinkled his forehead, trying to remember exactly what had happened earlier in the day. They had decided to relocate their camp to the old cabin. Eren remembered biting his hand in order to transform, his stomach jittery with nerves about whether or not he could stay in control long enough to get Levi and Jean to the cabin safely. But after that...his memories were just a blur of light and sound and color. Eren hated that he could never remember anything while he was in Titan form clearly, if at all.

"Levi..." Eren murmured, turning to look at the shorter man with worried eyes and a furrowed brow. "Did I...did I lose control again? I don't remember..."

The corner of Levi's mouth lifted up slightly. "Actually, you didn't lose control," he said softly. "You fought off a whole group of Titans, and you still managed to get us all to the cabin in one piece. Looked like it took a hell of a lot out of you, but you still did it, Eren." Levi moved his arms up to hold Eren close, and the turquoise-eyed soldier basked in the warm feeling of pride that seemed to emanate from his Corporal. He buried his suddenly warm cheeks against Levi's broad chest.

"I guess all that training paid off, huh?" Eren said. He was grinning like an idiot, he was so happy. He reached out and hugged Levi around the waist. "Thank you, Levi. I never could have done any of this without you. Thank you for having faith in me."

"Don't thank me brat, it was all you." Levi said. "But there's something else I need to discuss with you." He pulled away slightly, fixing Eren with a suddenly serious gaze. The younger man's smile faltered slightly. "We've been out here for around three or four months now, what with Jean getting hurt and trying to get your Titan form under control. Erwin and the rest probably think we've all become Titan shit by now. You've done well today, Eren, but we need to get back to the Walls soon. They're all counting on us to come back."

"I know," Eren said, casting his eyes to aside in order to examine a scratch on the floor next to him. "I know all that, but...I get so _angry_ after I transform, and I don't even know why! It just overwhelms me and I can't think, I can barely _breathe,_ and I just - I want to kill _everything._ " Eren's hand curled up into a tight fist by his side. All of his happiness from just a few moments before seemed to have dissipated. He leaned his forehead against Levi's shoulder. "I don't know what more I can do, Levi."

Levi rubbed gentle, mindless circles against Eren's shoulders, frowning slightly as he thought. "When you transform, is there anything in particular that causes you to feel angry? Or is it just mindless rage?"

"I'm not sure..." Eren replied, biting his lip slightly. Levi could see his younger lover's forehead creasing as he thought. "I mean, I don't really remember my transformations that well. Everything's mostly just a blur afterwards..."

" _Think,_ Eren. I need you to remember so that I can help you control your transformations. Your Titan form is the only way we have of making it back alive."

Eren closed his eyes, his hands curling against Levi's jacket as his nose filled with the older man's comforting scent. He thought back to his recent practice transformations with Levi, trying to conjure up every single detail as vividly as possible. The sharp burst of pain as he bit into the flesh of his hand, followed by the metallic tang of blood on his tongue. The feel of flesh and muscle and bone, growing around him and filling his ears with a dull roar. The feeling of that flesh wrapping around his body, tight as his mother's embrace after Eren had trudged home as a child, covered in scrapes and bruises from his latest fight...the thick ropes of muscle growing out to connect Eren to the hulking form rising up high off the ground...

...And then the _anger,_ an emotion which always seemed to simmer just beneath Eren's skin, ready to erupt at the slightest provocation. Only in Titan form, it was ten times worse. Eren _felt_ everything so much more intensely than usual as a Titan, his emotions coursing through his body like wildfire. And with the anger came the memories. Memories of dead and dying soldiers, of mindless Titans marching through rivers of blood. Of his mother's thin cloth shoe slipping off her foot as a Titan devoured her, Eren screaming with pain and rage as Hannes carried him and Mikasa away.

Eren closed his eyes more tightly, pressing himself against Levi as if he hoped to meld his own body with his lover's. He could feel Levi's arms around him, holding him, not saying a word. Just letting Eren think, letting Eren sift through what few memories he had of transforming into a Titan. Levi was like a rock that the turquoise-eyed soldier could anchor himself against, and he was so grateful for that.

Then the answer came to Eren in a sudden burst of understanding, like a sunbeam shining down through the clouds. It wasn't the memories of his dead comrades and mother that were bothering him. Everyone mourned the dead, and felt their loss keenly - Armin and Mikasa, the 104th, the Survey Corps. There wasn't a soldier Eren knew of who wasn't aware of how many men and women had met a horrible end between the jaws of a Titan. No, what hurt Eren the most, what caused rage to swallow his being while in Titan form, was the _guilt._

 _He hadn't been able to save them._ Despite his Titan power, Eren hadn't been able to prevent a single death. And so many soldiers had died for him, in order to pave the way for Eren to seal up Wall Rose during the battle of Trost. That knowledge weighed as heavily on him as if it was a physical burden. Who knew how many more would die, while Eren was unable to stop the hordes of Titans that threatened mankind's very survival? How many more would die for him, _because_ of him?

Eren hadn't even been able to save his own mother from dying. He'd just been a stupid little ten year-old boy with a big mouth and not much to back it up with. How many times had Mikasa had to save his ass when they were kids? All he could do as he watched his mother die was scream and rage at the injustice of it all. Despite his newfound abilities, Eren still felt that was all he could do. "Mommy," he whispered, and felt a sudden wetness on his cheeks. He cursed silently for crying in front of Levi, like the dumb kid he was.

"Hey brat, enough with the crying, I'm not good with that shit," Levi said gruffly. He gently lifted Eren's chin so that the younger man was looking at him, those big bright eyes shimmering with tears. "Hey, come on now," Levi muttered. He never knew what to say in these kinds of situations, so he gently wiped Eren's tears away with his thumb instead. "What brought this on? Why are you talking about your mother all of a sudden?"

"S-sorry," Eren hiccuped. "I didn't mean to start crying." He pulled out of Levi's embrace and started to angrily scrub at his face with the back of his hand. "I just - I figured out why I'm so angry when I transform into a Titan." He lowered his hand and turned his tear-streaked face to meet Levi's concerned gaze. "I told you that when I transform, I feel everything way more intensely than I would usually. It's like...all of my emotions are fire, and they're trying to consume me alive." He let out a hoarse, dry chuckle. "I guess that's a weird analogy, huh?"

"Keep going, Eren," Levi said, eyes fixed intently on the younger man and nothing else.

"I couldn't save them," Eren choked out as a fresh wave of tears fell down his cheeks. He brought his knees up to his chest and rested his forehead on them in a futile attempt to hide his grief. "So many people are dead. Half of my graduating class in basic training died during Trost. And more people died so that I could close up Wall Rose. Those soldiers died _for me._ But I can't save anyone! I can't even control my own fucking Titan transformations!" Eren gritted his teeth in order to keep from outright sobbing. He couldn't stop the tears from flowing, and he hated himself for it. His crying was upsetting Levi, but he just couldn't stop. All of these emotions, these feelings of guilt and anger that Eren had kept locked up tight inside of him for so long, were now pouring out of him like a flood. 

"All I did back at HQ was practice transforming with Hanji, but I wasn't even able to stop Titans from getting you, me, and Jean stranded out here in the woods! And I can't manage to control my Titan form for long enough to get us back home, so who _knows_ how long we'll be stuck here! I should have gone out to fight as soon as I knew I had this power; I shouldn't be wasting time like this. Who knows how many people have died because I've been hesitating all this time?"

Eren curled more tightly into himself, and continued talking before Levi could so much as open his mouth. He felt that if he didn't get everything he wanted to say out in the open now, he would die. The words were rushing out of him, and Eren was helpless to stop them. "I'm _scared,_ Levi. I don't know why I can shift into a Titan, or how it works, or even how I first learned to do it. My memory's a fucking train wreck from the time my mom died up until I joined the military. I don't know if, at some point, I won't be able to turn back into a human. I don't even know if I _am_ human anymore! Maybe at some point, I'll just become a mindless beast like the rest of the Titans. And because I'm scared and can't control myself or my situation, more people die." Eren shuddered. "Their blood is on my hands."

For what felt like an eternity afterwards, no one spoke. Eren remained curled up into a ball, crying quietly into his knees. Levi watched him, silently, his heart aching for the young man who had the world on his shoulders. Finally, however, the Corporal reached out and touched Eren's shoulder. "Eren, look at me." The younger man tried to flinch away, causing Levi to tighten his grip. " _Look at me, Eren._ That's an order."

Slowly, Eren lifted his head to stare up at Levi with reddened eyes. His face was a mess, covered in tears and snot, but Levi pulled Eren close anyway. For a moment he simply held the boy, letting Eren press himself against Levi's chest and get his tears under control a bit. Then Levi spoke. "None of this is your fault."

Eren snorted. "You don't have to make me feel better - "

"Shut the fuck up and listen," Levi interrupted him. " _None of this is your fault,_ brat. You aren't the one who killed those soldiers, the fucking Titans were. The people who died in Trost knew damn well what they were signing up for. No one joins the Survey Corps or the Garrison expecting a long and cushy life getting their asses wiped like the rich fucks in Sina. We are all ready to lay down our lives for humanity, Eren. For freedom. The men and women at Trost _willingly_ sacrificed themselves so that you could save Wall Rose, because you represented that for them."

Eren stared at Levi in disbelief. "I don't think I can save all of humanity," he muttered. "I couldn't even save my mom! What happened to her...no one deserves to die like that! And I couldn't do anything."

"So your mom became Titan food, just like most of the people in Wall Maria did. That's why you want to kill all the Titans, right?"

Eren shook his head. "It was worse than that. The day Wall Maria fell, I'd gotten into a fight with her over joining the Survey Corps. I wanted to enlist and she didn't want me to, basically. So I got mad and ran out of the house to go and sit by the river. When the Colossal Titan destroyed the Wall, a piece of the rubble crushed my house." Eren closed his eyes tight against the painful memory. "I ran home as fast as I could, but her legs had been crushed underneath the roof. I couldn't manage to free her...Mikasa and I were barely able to escape before a Titan ate my mom...And I watched it happen. I watched that Titan devour her whole." 

Eren tightened his fist against Levi's abdomen. "I swore that was the day when I would destroy every last Titan. I never wanted to see anyone else die like that, ever again. Yet that's all I see, every time I close my eyes, is my comrades dying left and right. I just want it to _end!_ "

"Then make it end, Eren!" Levi practically shouted, followed by a worried glance in Jean's direction. The amber-eyed boy snorted and turned over, but luckily he didn't wake up. Levi continued in a quieter voice. "No matter what you think of yourself, you represent hope and freedom to the Survey Corps. To all of humanity. But even more than that...you represent those things to _me._ "

Eren's eyes widened, and he stared at Levi in shock. His mouth opened, but Levi laid a finger across it. "Let me finish, Eren." The Corporal knew he had to say this now, because otherwise in the morning he'd be too embarrassed and would never let Eren bring this up again. "For years now, I've been going outside the Walls and fighting Titans with the Corps. Each and every time we'd come back defeated, with nothing to show for our work except a load of more dead fucking soldiers. I hated life inside those Walls, but I didn't think we'd ever actually defeat the Titans. There were too damn many of them, and not enough of us. I figured eventually I'd go down fighting the damn things, just like countless men and women before me. And I knew that when I died, I wanted it to be outside those shitty Walls, where the air is clean and the world is beautiful for once. So I kept on going out and fighting.

"And then you came along, brat. I was skeptical at first, but I saw that fire in your eyes, that fucking insane and wonderful determination to succeed at taking down those shitty fucking monsters once and for all. For the first time, I had hope that we'd succeed. So I decided that I would watch over you, so that you could save us, Eren." Levi cupped Eren's cheeks and stared down into his eyes with an intensity Eren had never seen before. "I will not let the first hope I've had in fuck knows how long die. I will rip you from your Titan's nape with my bare fucking hands if I have to, but I _won't_ let you lose yourself.

" _Trust me,_ Eren," Levi whispered, bringing his forehead down to rest against Eren's. "I know you've got the world on your shoulders, brat. I know it's fucking unfair, and that you never asked for this, and all of that shit. _I know._ But I will be there with you every step of the way, Eren. I will not abandon you." Levi pressed his lips gently against the younger man's in the lightest of kisses. "I promise," he whispered into Eren's mouth.

A pair of strong arms wrapped around Levi's neck and pulled him down, and Eren was kissing Levi strongly, his tongue thrusting into Levi's mouth. Levi felt Eren's taste and smell invade his senses, and it felt like heaven. He moaned softly and kissed Eren back just as fervently. "Thank you, Levi," Eren whispered as they pulled apart for air. "Thank you so much." Then they were kissing again, and Eren was sucking on Levi's tongue, and Levi never wanted to stop. He would be just fine with sitting in this dingy, dilapidated cabin and kissing Eren for the rest of eternity.

With Eren so close against him, kissing him so intensely, it wasn't long before heat began to pool in Levi's groin and his pants started to feel uncomfortably tight. He groaned and started to unconsciously rut against Eren's thigh in an attempt to relieve some of the pressure. Eren's eyes opened wide upon feeling Levi's erection, and then he buried his head against the older man's neck and ground his hips down, letting Levi know that he wasn't the only one with a hard-on right now.

" _Eren,_ " Levi hissed, "are you sure you want to do this right now?" Only a few moments earlier the damn brat had been a crying mess, and now he and Levi were rutting up against each other. He had no idea how Eren managed to switch from emotional extremes like this so quickly. The turquoise-eyed soldier hadn't said anything yet, and despite that Levi was plucking at the sleeves of Eren's jacket, because he was _so fucking hard_ and he really didn't want Eren wearing clothes right now. Hell, _he_ didn't want to be wearing clothes right now either.

Eren gave a sharp cry as his hips pressed insistently against Levi's groin, and fuck he looked so wrecked. Levi hadn't even done anything yet, but Eren's skin was still flushed a pretty red in the dim firelight, his eyes bright with arousal now instead of tears. " _Yes,_ Levi, _fuck_ yes, I need you to touch me, _please,_ " he hissed against Levi's ear and the Corporal felt his dick twitch.

Then Jean gave another sleepy grunt, and Levi and Eren froze in place. Eren's eyes flicked from Jean to Levi and back again with increasing nervousness, and Levi swore quietly. For a few heart-stopping moments it seemed as if Jean would wake up, and the last thing Levi wanted was for Jean to find him and Eren about to fuck. Luckily, after a few more grunts and some slight shifting, Jean once again stayed asleep. Levi watched the pile of skins he was under rising and falling rhythmically for a few moments before he let out a relieved sigh. "Alright brat, if we're doing this then we need to go in the other room," Levi said quietly. "I'm not doing stuff where Jean might wake up and see us."

Eren nodded, and the two men awkwardly got up. Eren gave an exasperated little whine at having to move around with a hard-on, but he dutifully followed Levi into one of the smaller rooms next to the main one. This room was empty save for a rusting metal bed frame, which left Levi and Eren plenty of room to screw around. Levi, however, took one look at the floor, which was covered in so much dirt and dust that it was nearly impossible to make out the floorboards underneath, and wrinkled his nose before turning on his heel and marching back out.

" _Levi!_ " Eren hissed, gesturing down at his erection. "You aren't going to just _leave_ me like this, are you?!"

"Calm your shit, brat, I'm coming back," Levi said, and he re-entered the room carrying his and Eren's cloaks and the one animal skin that Jean wasn't wrapped up in. Eren watched incredulously as Levi spread these items out on the floor, covering up a space for him and Eren to lay down without worrying about getting dirty. 

" _Holy fuck,_ " Eren groaned. He knew very well by now that the Corporal was a notorious clean freak, but having to put up with it when he had a raging hard-on was just ridiculous.

"I'm not getting filthy just because you're a horny little brat who wants to screw," Levi replied. He laid carefully down atop the coverings and held out his arms. "Now come here, Eren."

The turquoise-eyed soldier fell gratefully into his lover's arms, kissing him fiercely while insistently tugging off Levi's jacket. It had been nearly a month since the last time the two of them had screwed around, what with Jean around and Eren usually exhausted from his Titan-shifting practice. Levi had Eren's clothes off in record time, reveling in how easy it was without having to deal with the many buckles of their straps and harnesses. Levi, Eren, and Jean hadn't bothered with those since they'd first gotten lost out here, as they didn't have their 3D Maneuver Gear anymore.

After a few awkward minutes of fumbling with the button, Eren managed to get Levi's pants off, leaving both men completely naked. Eren trailed his fingers wonderingly down Levi's chest and abdomen, dropping feather-light kisses here and there as he went. "You're so beautiful, Levi," he whispered.

Levi felt his cheeks warm slightly. "Quit with the sappy shit, brat," he said softly, pulling Eren's head down for another kiss. "You want me to suck you off again?"

Eren didn't respond right away, instead moving his hands down to cup Levi's cock. Even that light touch felt like fire against Levi's skin, and he couldn't help the soft moan that escaped his lips. Eren's tongue came out to dart at his lips as he admired the older man's cock, and the Corporal knew instantly what the turquoise-eyed soldier wanted to do. "Eren...are you sure you want to do this? Have you ever even given a blow job before?"

"Well...no," Eren admitted. "I told you I was a virgin before we...you know." In the dim moonlight coming in through the window, Levi could just barely make out the flushed curve of Eren's cheek, and he smirked slightly. "But I'm sure I can do it!" Eren said, gazing at Levi with that determined fire that the Corporal so loved. The fact that Eren was so determined to give him a good blow job was incredibly arousing.

"Fine," Levi said. "I'll allow it. But go slowly. And _no teeth._ "

"Yes sir," Eren grinned, and bent his head to Levi's groin. In the next moment his cock was enveloped in warm, wet, glorious heat. Levi cried out as Eren lapped at the bead of precome on the slit, gentle fingers caressing his balls. He pressed his hand to his mouth in order to muffle any further noise. _If Jean wakes up right now, I'm going to be so pissed off,_ Levi thought.

" _Eren,_ " he hissed, as the boy took in the head of Levi's cock. What the boy lacked in finesse, he more than made up for with enthusiasm. Eren was lapping at Levi's cock like it was a delicious treat, laving the head and pressing moist kisses along the length. "Eren, fucking take me in deeper already!" Levi demanded.

Eren nodded, and Levi was treated to the glorious sight of his cock disappearing inch by slow inch into Eren's mouth. He was about three-quarters of the way down when Levi stopped him with a gentle touch to the younger man's forehead. "Easy now, I don't want you to hurt yourself."

And then Eren _sucked,_ and Levi was in heaven. How long had he wanted this, his cock in Eren's mouth as the boy eagerly pleasured him? He threw his head back, one hand still pressed firmly against his mouth, the other tangled in Eren's soft brown hair. Words spilled from his lips unheeded, as Levi was so lost in just how damn _good_ it all felt. "Fucking hell, Eren, your mouth feels so good on my cock. It's like you were made for this, born just to wrap your fucking pretty little lips around me and suck me off."

Eren hummed around Levi's cock, the vibrations nearly sending him undone right then and there. " _Agh_ \- are you getting off on this? Do you like it, having your commanding officer's cock down your throat? I bet you - _ngh_ \- dreamt about this every night, jerked yourself off to the thought of having my cock in you - "

He couldn't hold it back any longer. The pleasure was building at the base of his dick, swelling inside of him. "Eren, I'm coming!" Levi hissed through clenched teeth, "so if you don't want to swallow - ah!"

Eren just barely managed to get his mouth off of Levi in time. Cum shot from Levi's cock in thick white spurts, splattering against the dirty floor. "Eren, Eren," Levi moaned, stroking himself through his orgasm. And then it was over. Levi lay there panting slightly, covered in a light sheen of sweat, and felt his dick soften. "Come the fuck here, brat," he whispered. "That was the best fucking blow job I've ever gotten in my fucking _life._ "

The turquoise-eyed soldier chuckled happily, snuggling up close to Levi's body. "I'm glad I could make you feel good," Eren said quietly, smiling as Levi held him close and dropped little kisses along his neck and collarbones. "But...I mean, could you please...?"

Levi looked up to see Eren gesturing down at his own cock, hot and heavy between his legs. Levi's heart skipped a beat at the thought of Eren forgoing his own pleasure for Levi's. _This brat,_ he thought fondly. The corner of Levi's mouth quirked up. "I think I can help you out with that," he murmured. "Spread your legs for me?" 

Eren obeyed. Levi could see his lover's pretty pink hole, and the sight would have made him hard again, were he able. "I want to try and finger you a bit," Levi said softly. "Just fingers, not my dick. Obviously," he chuckled. "Is that alright?"

The turquoise-eyed soldier nodded. A soft pink flush spread over the bridge of Eren's nose, from arousal or embarrassment or both. "Y-yeah," he said. "I trust you, Levi."

"Good." Levi bent down to give his younger lover a quick kiss, then pressed two of his fingers to Eren's mouth. "We don't have any lube, unfortunately, so suck on these, get them nice and wet."

Eren took Levi's fingers into his mouth, and the way he sucked on the two digits could rival the finest Sina whore. The brat ran his tongue sensually up and down Levi's two fingers, then took them into his mouth and sucked loudly. Levi moaned softly. How he wished it was his cock that Eren was sucking again instead! "Shitty brat," he hissed, "you'll be the death of me."

Eren only grinned around Levi's fingers. The older man removed them from his mouth with a wet _pop,_ then gently ran one of them down the soft skin of Eren's perineum. Eren whined at the touch against such a sensitive place, and gave a pleasure-filled sigh when Levi paused a moment to give Eren's cock a quick stroke from base to tip before briefly fondling his balls. "This might feel a little weird at first," he warned Eren. "Just relax, and you'll be OK. I'll make you feel good, I promise."

Eren looked a bit nervous, but he gave a firm nod nonetheless. "Go ahead, Lev - _iiii!_ " The turquoise-eyed soldier's voice trailed off into a high-pitched squeak as Levi gently circled his hole twice with the tip of his index finger before pushing it in slowly. Eren gasped, his eyes closed as Levi slowly pushed his finger in to the hilt. 

"Relax," Levi whispered, leaning over to pepper Eren's face with little kisses. "It'll feel better if you relax. Breathe already."

Eren did so, closing his eyes and taking a few deep breaths. Slowly, Levi felt Eren unclench around his finger. Taking that as a good sign, the older man slowly began to move the single digit in and out of Eren's hole. The last vestiges of the younger man's discomfort vanished, and before long he was whimpering and writhing with pleasure once more. Then Levi hit a certain angle that made Eren gasp, his eyes flying open in confusion to meet Levi's. "Wh-what was that?" He gasped. "It...it felt really good."

Levi smirked. "Your prostate," he replied simply. "It's a nice feeling when I press it, isn't it Eren?"

"Yeah...do it again. Please Levi, I want more." Eren began to push down on Levi's finger, eager to feel more of that wonderful pleasure. The Corporal took it as a cue to add the second finger, carefully scissoring the two digits in order to stretch Eren and minimize any discomfort. Although Eren's brows wrinkled slightly at first, he cried out again when Levi pushed against his prostate with two fingers.

"Levi, Levi, _please..._ "

"Please what, Eren?"

"Please let me _come!_ " Eren cried out, reaching out and grabbing hold of Levi's shoulders. The younger man's cock was swollen and leaking, standing proudly away from the bed of soft brown curls around Eren's groin. Levi knew that he wouldn't last long, and moved his fingers more quickly.

"I'm the only one who can give this to you, Eren," Levi whispered, again getting lost in the heat of the moment. Eren's big turquoise eyes staring up at him with lust and desire, his flushed face and pretty, quiet little cries - it was the most beautiful sight Levi could ever ask for. "You belong to me. I'm the only one who will ever touch you like this, understood?"

"Yes...yes, Levi, I'm yours, just...let me...!"

Levi leaned forward and whispered against Eren's ear. "Then come, brat."

Eren grabbed his cock and stroked once, twice, three times, before his mouth opened in a silent scream as he came, thick spurts of white splashing against his belly and Levi's chest. Levi quickly pressed his free hand against Eren's mouth to keep the brat from crying out and waking Jean up. He felt Eren's ass clench and unclench around his fingers, and Levi carefully removed them, wishing that it was his cock inside of Eren instead. _Soon,_ Levi told himself. _He's not ready for that yet._

He frowned down at the quickly-drying semen on his and Eren's body. _Ugh._ Levi quickly got up and went into the main room, returning a moment later with a container of water and a scrap of cloth. He the carefully wiped down both his and Eren's bodies. Eren smiled lazily and hummed as Levi cleaned him off. "I like you a lot," he murmured.

Levi couldn't help but smile back. "I like you a lot too, brat," he replied, then set the cloth and water aside and laid down next to Eren, pulling their cloaks up to cover them both. Eren immediately wrapped himself around Levi like a child, burying his face into the Corporal's neck. If anyone else had tried to cuddle with him like that, Levi would have ripped them a new asshole. But this was Eren, so Levi merely reached over to pull the boy close and gently stroke his hair.

"Mmm...'night," Eren whispered, as his eyes closed and he drifted off to sleep.

"Goodnight, Eren," Levi said, as he fell asleep next to the person he cared for most in this world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much again to everyone for your patience. Grad school is hard work, and I know my updates are erratic to say the least. I appreciate everyone's kind words and kudos and support very much, as always. :)
> 
> Thank you to everyone who reminded me that Eren's Titan form is fifteen meters, not seventeen. I have gone back and fixed that little error.
> 
> To the person who asked me what I'm studying: I'm getting my Master's degree in Counseling Psychology. :)
> 
> (Eren and Levi are such gay-ass dorks. I love them ;v;)


	15. Interlude 3: Jean and Eren

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean and Eren take a bath, and some bonding happens. But not in the way that you're probably thinking, you perverts. ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for being so patient with me, you guys. The summer semester's winding down now, so I have a little time to write before the Fall semester starts and I go back to working my ass off again. O.o
> 
> Anyway, enjoy Eren and Jean being dorks.

"Hey, I'm going to take a bath. Do you want to come?"

Jean looked up from where he had been lazing by the campfire, waiting for a container of water to boil so that he could wash his clothes. Eren was standing across from him, wrapped up in one of their crappy animal skin robes, his Survey Corps uniform tucked haphazardly underneath one arm. Clutched in his hand was a piece of the very crumbly and very greasy soap that Levi had tried to make with some leftover animal fat a few days ago. The results had been a small pile of brown crumbles that could maybe pass for soap, if you were desperate. Which, to be honest, they kind of were.

Jean might have actually used the soap, too, if Levi hadn't stunk up the entire cabin something awful in the process of making it. For three whole days it had smelled as if something was rotting and burning at the same time in there. The odor was so bad that they'd had to sleep outside while leaving all the doors and windows wide open, with the hope of airing the place out. Thankfully, the smell seemed to have gone away by now. Jean shuddered just thinking about it. "You're actually gonna wash yourself with that stuff?" He asked, wrinkling his nose at the soap in Eren's hand.

"Huh?" Eren looked down at the soap. "Yeah, why not? I mean, Levi spent all that time making it, after all. It doesn't feel right to just let it all go to waste."

"Y'know, Jaeger, you've been spending a lot more time washing yourself since you and Levi got together. You sure he isn't the one making you dirty, Jaeger?" Jean asked with a smirk. It was true that he and Eren were on pretty good terms these days, but he couldn't resist riling Eren up at least a little bit. The turquoise-eyed soldier got angry so easily, after all.

Eren glared at Jean, a light pink tinge suffusing his face. "Shut up, horseface. All Levi and I have been doing lately is practicing with my Titan form. So unless you're getting your rocks off thinking about the two of us having sex - "

"I never said I didn't believe you," Jean cut in. "Levi isn't the kind of guy to slack off with you when we're so close to getting back home." The amber-eyed boy smirked slightly. "But what about the morning after we got here, when you came running out of the side room half-naked to get your clothes like a little virgin maiden - "

"Shut up, Kirschtein!" Eren snapped, his cheeks growing redder. "At least I'm not the one with a dumb crush on Bertholdt." He adopted a high falsetto: _"Oh Bertl, please touch me! It feels soooo good!"_

Now it was Jean's turn to blush. "I told you not to bring that up anymore!" He snapped. _Damn it, I can't believe I said all of that stupid, embarrassing shit in front of Jaeger when I was sick. I'll never be able to live that down now..._

"Whatever." Eren rolled his eyes. "Look, you coming or not?"

"What makes you think I wanna take a bath with _you,_ anyway? You that eager to stare at my dick, Jaeger?"

"Look, you were washing your clothes anyway!" Eren said, gesturing at Jean's dirty cloak on the floor. "Which means you were going to go down to the river and bathe at some point today. You might as well just come with me now, save yourself the trip. Besides, we can watch each others' backs this way. The last thing you want is a Titan to catch you naked, right?"

Jean sighed. "Fine, I guess you're right. Better get clean now, or Levi'll chew me out for it later." The amber-eyed soldier got to his feet, adjusting the hem of his deerskin robe before unceremoniously dumping his Survey Corps uniform into the now-boiling water. "Let's go."

**-x-**

The short walk down to the brook was quiet. More and more signs of spring were appearing with each passing day now. Each day seemed a bit warmer than the last, and just about all of the snow that had once carpeted the forest around them had melted away. Jean could see the pale green shoots of grasses and plants poking their tiny heads out of the earth, drinking in the sunlight that was becoming much more plentiful. On some of the smaller trees, he could see the tightly furled buds of new leaves, which would soon unfold and cover the forest in a fresh new blanket of green.

Despite the warmer temperatures, however, it was still too cold for a bath in the river to really be enjoyable. The water still felt freezing against the skin, and being in it for too long was practically impossible. Levi, who enjoyed bathing for longer than two minutes at a time, had figured out that by setting a fire right by the edge of the brook and staying close to it, then washing up became considerably more tolerable. It wasn't ideal, not by any means. The water was still cold, and any shift in the wind could blow stinging smoke into your eyes and nose. But it allowed for longer, (marginally) more pleasant baths, so Jean and Eren made sure they had a campfire going before taking off their robes and gingerly sliding into the water, the both of them hissing and cursing at the cold until they were fully submerged.

Once Jean had gotten about as used to the water as he was going to get, he leaned up against the bank near the campfire and glanced over at Eren, who was huddled nearby. "Hey, can I ask you a question?" Jean said.

"What's the question?" Eren eyed Jean suspiciously out of the corner of his eye, wondering if the taller boy was going to start poking fun at him.

However, Jean asked Eren something that had been nagging at his mind for a while now, ever since they had started living at the old cabin. "What's the deal with Levi and cleaning?" 

Eren's eyes started to narrow, and Jean lifted his hands in a gesture of peace. "I'm not trying to insult him, OK? I'm just curious. I've never meant anyone as...anal about cleaning before as Levi is. I mean, we all spent the first three days at the cabin scrubbing the hell out of the place."

"It was filthy," Eren said, his tone taking on an edge of defensiveness. "What, you wanted to sleep on top of dirt and animal shit and Walls know what else?"

"I'm not saying it didn't need to be cleaned! But Levi made us wash the _ceiling,_ for fuck's sake! He made me scrub the same part of the floor, like, five times until he was OK with it. Hell, he made us wash the freaking _doorjambs._ You've gotta admit that's not really normal."

"It's fine!" Eren snapped. "What's wrong with being clean, huh? If you're clean, then you're less likely to be sick or get something infected - "

"Eren, I'm not saying Levi's crazy or anything," Jean interrupted. "If it wasn't for him, we'd both be dead right now. I'm really grateful for everything he's done, and I think he's a great man." Jean paused a minute, watching Eren's face soften, and decided that pursuing the topic wasn't worth starting a fight. "Just...forget I said anything, OK? I was just curious." He turned away to look up at the sky again, watching the small puffy clouds float idly across the blue sky. For a few minutes, everything was quiet.

Then Eren spoke up, softly. "Levi's always been kind of a clean freak. Back at HQ, me and the rest of Squad Levi used to clean the main rooms together once a week. It was kind of nice, though. Everyone joked and talked with each other, and Levi helped too, of course. I really started looking forward to those weekly cleaning sessions."

"Oh. I guess that does sound pretty nice," Jean replied.

"I guess maybe cleaning relaxes him," Eren continued. "I mean, none of us lead easy lives, but Levi's got a lot of responsibilities. He's Humanity's Strongest, after all, and he's Lance Corporal of the Survey Corps. And Levi takes both of those things really seriously. So if cleaning and having things around him be clean makes Levi feel happy, then I'll gladly clean for him."

Jean felt his face flush slightly. He certainly hadn't been expecting that kind of an answer from Eren. _He's such a dork in love,_ Jean found himself thinking, though not unkindly. "Thanks for answering my question," he said quietly. "I guess you really feel strongly about Levi, huh?"

Eren nodded, his lips curling up into a slight smile. "Yeah," he said. "I do."

Everything was quiet again for another long moment. Although the water was cold and Jean's legs were freezing, he didn't quite want to leave the brook yet. It was...nice, out here, with the sun out and no sounds save for the running water and the chirping of songbirds, which were slowly starting to return to the forest now that it was getting warmer.

Surprisingly enough, Eren was the one who spoke next. "So do you have any family back home?"

"Huh?" Jean turned to face Eren, confusion written all over his face. He wasn't sure why Eren was asking him this question right now. Jean was used to the turquoise-eyed boy talking about all kinds of random things at odd times by now, of course. But he couldn't remember Eren ever asking him anything, besides the occasional terse request for Jean to pass the water pitcher at dinner back in the mess hall. Then again, Jean had never really asked Eren a question that wasn't some kind of insult in disguise before today, either.

"You don't have to answer," Eren muttered, looking away before Jean could see the pink tinge of his cheeks. "I guess I was just curious, too. You don't have to talk about it if they're all dead or something."

Jean found himself smiling. "It's OK," he said. "You answered my dumb question, so I'll answer your dumb question too. It's just me and my mom, actually. She lives in a little house in Trost, which is where I grew up."

Eren's eyes widened. " _Trost?_ Is she...?"

"She's OK, yeah. Our house is near the main part of Wall Rose, so she was pretty far from where the Titans broke through. But yeah, it was scary as fuck for me. With all that chaos going on, there was no way I could make sure she could get out safely." Jean closed his eyes tightly against the memory of that day. "I was so scared that she was going to die...I kept having these visions of her getting swallowed by a Titan, and me not ever getting to say goodbye. I remember thinking that I wished I'd told her I loved her more often."

He chuckled, a dry, humorless sound. "Walls, I was so _stupid._ I don't know why I ever thought that the Colossal Titan wouldn't come back. I just wanted to join the Military Police with Marco, be safe and comfortable, and bring some money back to mom at the end of the week. You know damn well I never wanted to fight Titans back in basic."

Eren grinned slightly. One of the most common reasons for the two of them to start fighting back then had been Jean's derision of Eren's goal to destroy Titans with the Survey Corps. Jean had made it no secret that he thought Eren was a suicidal idiot who was going to get eaten the second he stepped foot outside the Walls, and Eren likewise was quite vocal about his thoughts on Jean being an ugly, stupid bastard. "So how did she feel about your decision to join the Survey Corps and not the Military Police?" Eren found himself asking.

"She was surprisingly supportive, actually. I think after seeing everything that happened in Trost, and hearing about what happened to Marco, she realized why I had to do it. Mom wasn't exactly happy about it, though. She was crying, and begging me not to die. I make sure to visit her every week, or at least to write if I can't visit." Jean groaned and leaned his head forward. "She must think I'm dead now, though...I wonder if anyone's come to tell her that I never came back from the expedition over the winter."

"When we get back, you'll have to visit her first thing," Eren said determinedly. "She'll be really happy and relieved to see that you're alright."

Jean grinned. "Yeah, definitely."

"My mom never wanted me to join the Survey Corps," Eren said, more quietly. "She found out that I wanted to on the day Wall Maria fell, and we had a big fight about it." He swallowed thickly. "I wish more than anything that we hadn't fought that day, that I hadn't been so angry at her. I wish I'd told my mom I loved her, before she died."

"I'm sure she knew that you did," Jean said quietly, his heart clenching at the forlorn look on Eren's face. After nearly losing his own, he had a new perspective on how terrible it must have felt for Eren to lose his mother. "Moms know that kind of stuff. And you know, I never actually thanked you for saving Wall Rose. Thanks to you, my mom's home wasn't destroyed, and she's safe. So...yeah. Thanks, Eren. For everything."

The sad expression on Eren's face lightened. "I'm glad that I was able to save her," he said.

"Do you think we should actually, you know, start washing ourselves?" Jean asked with a grin. "I feel like my dick's gonna freeze off if we stay in here much longer. Hand me some of that soap Levi stunk up the cabin with, let's see if it's any good."

Although the soap was very crumbly and difficult to scrub with, it was surprisingly effective at removing dirt. And thankfully, it didn't make Jean's skin smell bad after he'd gotten out of the river and dried off. He felt cleaner than he had since they'd first gotten stranded out here, and it was a good feeling. But Jean still hoped that Levi didn't attempt to make another batch. The stench from making the soap had really been terrible.

"Hey, Jaeger," Jean said, as the two of them were in the process of getting dressed and putting out the fire. "You know....you're not so bad. For a suicidal moron, I mean." 

Eren looked up at him in surprise, before his own face relaxed into a smile. "Yeah," he said. "You're not so bad either, Jean. For a horseface, anyway."

They walked back to the cabin in a warm, companionable silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's the last Jean Interlude of this fic, everyone. I'm estimating two more chapters plus an epilogue, so we're nearing the end here! Plus the next chapter will have porn in it, and you can look forward to that. I know I am~
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who takes the time to leave kudos and comments. I really appreciate all your support. *kisses*


	16. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi, Eren, and Jean once again are reminded of humanity's position in the world. Some really emotional Ereri sex happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I'd like to thank everyone for their patience. Most of my time these days is occupied with school, and I know that updates to this fic aren't regular. But we're almost done! :D (Then I can start a new fic, hoo boy...)
> 
> WARNINGS: Gore, minor/canonical character death.
> 
> If anyone's interested, I listened to the song "Stay Alive" by Jose Gonzalez while writing this chapter, and I feel like it's a really appropriate song for the chapter. Here's the link if you want to listen too: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KZnu7fVRPIc
> 
> (sorry in advance you guys)

It had been a week since the emotional first night Eren and Levi had spent in the cabin, and in that time, Eren's control over his Titan form had grown stronger. For the past seven days, Eren had been able to hold his Titan form for longer and longer periods of time without losing control. The turquoise-eyed soldier started to actually look forward to Titan-shifting practice now, as taking on his Titan body become less of a struggle against his own volatile emotions. Now, Eren spent long, lazy afternoons sitting on the forest floor as a Titan, with Levi a comforting presence on his shoulder. Lately, his greatest struggle as a Titan had been keeping tree boughs from tangling in his hair.

Whenever Eren felt rage and anger building up inside of him at the thought of Titans killing his friends and loved ones, he remembered Levi's words to him. _Trust me, Eren. You're my hope. I promise to protect you._ Eren would think of Levi's strong arms around him, keeping him safe. He would go from thinking about killing and retribution, to thinking about the way Levi's lips felt against his, the way Levi pressed Eren close against him and made him feel warm. _I'm not alone,_ Eren would think firmly to himself. _Levi is with me. If anything goes wrong, I can depend on him to take care of me. He's counting on me to get us back to the Walls._ He would focus on the way Levi's human body felt against Eren's Titan one, warm and steady, keeping Eren's human side tied to reality just by being there. And all the anger Eren felt would seep out of him, to be replaced by a blazing determination to stay in control. He would use his Titan form to protect and take care of Levi, just like Levi protected and took care of Eren.

Around what Levi estimated to be midway through the week, Eren killed four small Titans that they'd come across. Afterwards, Eren was able to remain in control of his Titan until the end of the afternoon, when it was time to return to camp. Although he was still exhausted after shifting, Eren hadn't passed out after leaving his Titan since they'd arrived at the cabin. Even though Eren's memories while in Titan form remained hazy and difficult to recall, he was ridiculously proud of what he'd accomplished so far. For the first time in months, ever since he'd first discovered his strange powers, Eren felt in control. He felt confident and capable of taking down anything that crossed his past, Titan or no. As long as Levi was beside him, Eren felt like he could do anything.

Eren could feel Levi's pride in him as well. If anything, Levi was more proud of Eren than Eren was of himself. The Corporal didn't show it outright, but Eren could tell how Levi felt by the way he squeezed Eren's hand at night before they went to bed. By the way he kissed and held Eren when Jean wasn't around. By the way he clapped Eren on the back after each successful practice session and said, "good job, brat." Even though they were still trapped in the wilderness with Titans, even though he was away from Armin and Mikasa and the rest of the Survey Corps, Eren couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so happy and at peace.

At the end of the week, Levi brought up the topic of leaving the forest for good, and finally beginning their journey back to the Walls. "Eren, you've shown immense improvement in controlling your Titan, and I personally think that you're ready for this." The Corporal turned to face Eren, his expression serious. "But the question is, do _you_ think you're ready?"

Eren flushed slightly at the praise, and nodded firmly. He met Levi's gaze head-on, his eyes filled with resolve. "Yes," he said. "Absolutely yes. I think I have enough control over my Titan to bring us home safely."

"You _think,_ or you _know?_ " Levi replied sharply. "Don't push yourself on this, Eren. If you don't think that you're ready for this, you need to tell me now. It's all of our lives on the line if something goes wrong, brat."

Jean's gaze flicked between the two men, holding a now-forgotten piece of food halfway to his mouth. "Are - are you _serious_ right now?" He asked, in a voice filled with fragile hope. "After all this time...we're finally going home?"

Eren's chin lifted, his posture straightening with stubborn determination. "I still think...no, I _know,_ that I can do this." He said. "And let's face it, my Titan form is our only option for getting home. Like Levi said, trying to get back to the Walls with all of us as humans will just result in all of us getting eaten. So put all your hopes on me!"

The corner of Levi's mouth quirked upwards slightly, remembering the similar words Eren had used at his military tribunal. It felt so long ago, now, as if the trial had taken place in another world entirely. "Then let's all get some sleep. We're leaving at the crack of dawn tomorrow."

**-x-**

The next morning, Eren and Jean were the most awake Levi had seen them in the mornings since they'd gotten stuck out here. The idea of actually leaving this Walls-forsaken forest behind for good would probably have been enough to get even the sleepiest teenager moving, and Eren and Jean were no exception. The two boys moved quickly as dawn slowly filled the sky around them with pale morning light. Their minds were filled with warm thoughts of seeing their comrades again, of their smiling faces and bright eyes, of happy tears and hugs as Eren and Jean were reunited with them all. By the time the sun had risen completely over the horizon, Eren and Jean had packed up all of their supplies, put out the fire, and helped Levi fill all of their metal containers and canteens up with water from the brook.

"It might take us a little while to actually find the Walls," Levi warned Eren and Jean right before they left. He didn't want them to get too discouraged if getting home took longer than expected - although even Levi couldn't deny the way his heart sped up with excitement at the thought of returning to the Survey Corps. "Odds are we won't be back at HQ in time for dinner tonight. Remember, we don't know where exactly we are in relation to the Walls, or how far away from them we are. So don't go getting too excited, alright? We've still got work ahead of us."

Eren and Jean nodded and chorused their understanding. Their eyes were still bright with anticipation and eagerness at leaving. If the two soldiers were dogs, Levi just knew that their tails would be wagging in anticipation. "Eren, go ahead and transform," Levi said, closing his eyes and bracing himself against the bright flash of light and gush of wind that accompanied Eren's shift into a Titan. A few minutes later, Eren's Titan was striding confidently through the woods, with Levi and Jean riding on his shoulders.

Being a fifteen-meter class Titan whose every step covered a quarter of a mile, Eren moved them along faster than even the swiftest Survey Corps horse would be able to. It wasn't long before Levi, Eren, and Jean had left the forest that had been their "home" for the past few months behind for good. Levi's heart rose with every mile Eren put between them and that damned forest, which quickly receded behind them into a thin, dark line against the blue-purple mountains in the distance.

They traveled through meadows of long brown grasses that waved and rippled like the surface of a lake before Eren's heavy footfalls. The earth Eren churned up as he walked was rich and dark, wet with the last of the melting snow. Thick stands of oak, birch, and maple trees, their branches dusted with the bright green of new leaves, broke up the flat landscape. Jean watched as the tiny brown spots of deer far below them leapt and scurried nimbly out of the way, not wishing to get crushed as Eren moved along. Overhead, birds lazily glided and circled along on warm updrafts. Levi's eyes were faced firmly on the horizon, searching for any familiar bit of landscape that he might have seen on previous expeditions outside the Walls. Anything that could give them a frame of reference as to how far away they were from home.

It was when the sun was burning bright and high in the sky above them, that Levi finally spotted something familiar. But upon seeing it, his chest constricted with dread, as if it had been gripped by a giant, icy hand. Levi blinked hard a few times in order to make sure that what he saw was real, and not just a trick of the sunlight. But the thing remained in existence, painfully so.

Hanging off of the bough of a tree near the edge of a small wood, flapping lazily in the wind, was a piece of green fabric. A cloak. The edges were tattered and worn, the black and white emblem of the Wings of Freedom faded by exposure to the sun and wind. Even from this height, Levi could tell that this cloak hadn't been worn in a long time. Could it be...? _No,_ Levi found himself thinking. _No. There's no way. No no no please no..._

"Stop," Levi shouted into Eren's ear, and felt his chest tighten further at the way his voice sounded - choked and ragged with an emotion Levi never displayed. Fear. He could tell that Eren was worried by how abruptly he stopped. One bright green eye came into view as Eren's massive head turned slightly towards Levi. All the Corporal could do was point downwards. Levi felt Eren's arm stiffen underneath the Corporal's feet as he saw what Levi had only a minute earlier. A worried growl escaped his mouth.

"Levi...?" Jean asked quietly, leaning around Eren's neck to peer worriedly at the Corporal. "That's not...a Survey Corps cloak down there...is it?"

"Let me down," Levi said into Eren's ear, and felt the Titan shifter's hand come around to his shoulder for Levi to step onto. He was gently deposited onto the damp earth beneath the trees, and the Corporal practically stumbled off of Eren's giant fingers in his haste to get to that cloak. The torn green fabric still waved lazily in the air, as if taunting Levi, daring him to get close enough to see if the body of whatever soldier had last worn it still remained.

Hopelessly tangled among the tree limbs just below the cloak were the unmistakable metal hooks and wires of the 3D Maneuver Gear. Suspended at least ten feet off the ground, held in place by the Maneuver Gear wires like some sort of macabre puppet, was the body of a soldier. The soldier's cloak must have been torn from his body as he'd crashed through the canopy of tree limbs. Now, the corpse swayed slightly in the air. Its dark, glassy eyes stared at Levi's horrified face, unseeing. The former soldier's head was bent at an unnatural angle, as his neck had snapped cleanly. And Levi...Levi couldn't move. He felt as if he'd just been rammed into by a herd of stampeding cattle, all of the breath suddenly leaving his body. Because Levi recognized this particular dead body. The familiar brown hair, combed into a distinctive point. The squared jaw, the deep-set eyes and slightly too-large ears.

_Gunter._

_No,_ Levi found himself thinking again. He stared unblinkingly at the body of the man formerly under his command, who had been one of the best soldiers that the Survey Corps had ever seen. His chest was heaving as if he'd just run a mile, and yet Levi couldn't help feeling as if he wasn't able to get enough air into his body. As if there wasn't enough air in the whole world right now. _No, it's impossible..._

And Gunter wasn't the only dead soldier around. Below him and slightly to the left, another soldier's body was splayed out across a large rock. Levi could just barely make out the jagged edges of a broken skull beneath the corpse's longish blond hair. If he looked closely, the Corporal could still see a faint, rust-red stain on the gray stone, from where the man's brain had splattered out as he'd fallen hard onto the rock. _Erd..._

A few yards away, another body lay splayed out against the trunk of a tree. This one was missing most of its head, which had clearly been knocked off of its body by a very forceful blow. All that was left now was a ragged bit of jaw connected to a twisted neck. The earth around the corpse was colored an ugly brown with old blood, as well as dried bits of the corpse's insides, which had spilled out on the wood of the tree. Levi was only able to recognize this man by the presence of a bloodstained cravat hanging loosely around his neck, something which had caused Levi a slight twinge of annoyance whenever he'd seen the man wearing it. _Auruo...oh Auruo..._

The worst, however, was the dead body lying to Auruo's right. Levi couldn't help taking a few steps forward in order to see it more clearly. He moved as if in a dream, a horrible nightmare that he couldn't wake up from. By the body's position, Levi could tell that its spine had broken after hitting the ground. A halo of short, reddish-brown hair was splayed out around the corpse's head, the tips of the bright locks stained with blood. And those eyes - those bright, honey-colored eyes that had once stared out at the world with a fierce energy, hope, and determination to succeed - were now empty and dull. It felt unnatural. _Petra...please, not you, too..._

It was then that the smell hit him. The stench of rotting flesh, of death, dying, and decay. It was a scent that Levi had experienced countless times after a battle, and it never got any easier to bear. It was the worst, most horrible stench in the world, reserved only for the deepest kinds of Hell that any man or woman could experience.

Levi's legs abruptly gave out from underneath him and he fell to his knees, staring at the carnage around him. The Special Operations Squad. _Levi's Squad._ The people that he had spent years training, who had fought bravely and loyally by his side. They had all been so skilled - fast, strong, smart, and powerful. They had to be, as Levi only chose the best to fight under his command. Erd, Gunter, Petra, and Auruo...the people that Levi had come to think of as his family.

Dead. Gone. All of them.

The Corporal found his mind wandering back to that cold winter's day months ago, when they had been attacked by the Titans that would leave Levi, Eren, and Jean stranded out in the wilderness. There had been so many of them. Had Levi's Squad gotten too careless in their haste to pursue their captain? Perhaps more Titans had shown up? Maybe it had proven too much to fight a group of the monsters in a flat area, where it was extremely difficult and risky to use Maneuver Gear?

It didn't matter. Squad Levi - _every single member_ of Squad Levi - was dead. Fallen in battle against the worst and most deadly enemy that mankind had ever faced, just like most of the other soldiers Levi had fought beside. It seemed as if in the end, it didn't matter to the Titans how skilled a soldier one was. So many good, promising lives had been cut short by the monsters and their insatiable appetite for human flesh.

Next to Levi, Jean, whom Eren had apparently also put down, was also staring at the dead bodies of the former Special Operations Squad. The young soldier's face was pale with horror, mouth pressed into a thin line and amber eyes wide. Out of the corner of his eye, Levi could see Jean's body trembling slightly with fear and sadness. A part of Levi's mind was telling him, as if from a great distance, that he should get up and try to comfort Jean. The amber-eyed soldier was still alive, after all, and it was Levi's duty as a commanding officer to take care of him. And yet, he still couldn't bring his body to move. He could only kneel limply on the forest floor, staring at the corpses of the people he'd cared for.

Levi was stunned out of his stupor by a roar so loud that he very nearly toppled over, and a flock of birds was startled out of a nearby tree. He got to his feet and turned around to see Eren with his head thrown backward and big, toothy mouth wide open, howling at the sky like an angry, injured animal. Jean took a nervous step backwards, but watched alongside Levi as Eren vocalized his pain. Levi hoped that Eren didn't attract any Titans, but he didn't have the heart to order the brat to shut up. The Titan shifter probably wouldn't have heard him, anyway. Although they had only known each other a short time, Eren had come to care for the other squad members. And Levi knew that they had all cared for Eren as well.

After a few minutes, Eren's cries slowly subsided. He once again turned to look back down at the four corpses among the trees below him - corpses that had to look impossibly tiny from a height of fifteen meters. Eren was panting heavily, and making tiny, distressing little grunts and moans. Levi couldn't help thinking that if Titans could cry, Eren would be sobbing right now. His heart hurt a bit at the thought of his younger lover crying for any reason.

Eren turned to gaze down at Levi with those intense green eyes of his Titan form, and waited for a moment until he was sure that Levi was paying attention to him. Inwardly cursing for a few moments at his inability to speak while a Titan, Eren slowly lifted a few fingers of one hand and dragged a long, deep furrow into the earth. The dark soil stuck out against the lighter grass around it like a great wound. Eren then gently reached out and, with the utmost care, plucked Gunter's body out from among the trees. Levi looked at him now with alarm and confusion on his face, but there would have been no way for the Corporal or Jean to be able to reach the body with how high up it was, not without 3D Maneuver Gear. A few wires snapped and a few branches were tugged loose from the tree Gunter was tangled up in, but the body was ultimately removed unharmed. Eren carefully laid Gunter down in the dirt, surrounded by a nest of broken wires, and looked at Levi once again. 

Levi understood.

"Come on, Jean," Levi said, getting to his feet. Thankfully, his voice was steady and firm as always, although perhaps a shade too monotone to be completely above suspicion. "Help me get the rest of the bodies over to that ditch."

Jean stared at Eren, his brow furrowed in confusion. "Does he...want us to bury them?" He asked incredulously. Levi didn't blame him. Burials of fellow soldiers were very rarely performed, and never out in the field, where it was simply too dangerous to do so. Any remains after an expedition were given to the soldier's surviving family members. But that didn't mean that Levi was going to pass up the chance for a burial now, to be able to lay his comrades to rest for a final time. 

Working together, Levi and Jean picked up the bodies of Petra, Auruo, and Erd, and brought them over to the grave Eren created, where the Titan shifter gently picked the bodies up and laid them neatly beside each other, in a row. Levi felt as if he was working on autopilot, like someone besides him was moving his body around in order to get things accomplished. He felt numb, completely empty inside.

Gunter's 3D Maneuver Gear was obviously destroyed, and a closer inspection of Auruo's revealed that the gas canister was cracked and all of the fuel inside had spilled out. Petra and Erd's Maneuver Gears, however, were still in working order. There was precious little gas left inside both, but it would be enough to get through an emergency. Levi and Jean dug through the supplies until they found their leather uniform straps, and silently went about putting on their fallen comrades' Maneuver Gear, slipping their blades into the metal slots in the front. It felt slightly reassuring to have Maneuver Gear on again after all this time, but Levi couldn't bring himself to care about it too much.

When the bodies of Squad Levi were laid to rest, Eren sat back on his heels before covering up the grave. He looked at Levi meaningfully, and Levi could tell that Eren wanted him to say or do something. He felt a slight pang of anger - he'd never been good at this, never been good at inspiring speeches or articulating his feelings. Right now, Levi had no words, nothing he could say that could possibly describe just how much those four people had meant to him. For a moment, he stood there and did nothing while Jean sniffled and wiped at his eyes and nose with the back of his hand.

Finally, Levi did the only thing he could think of. He stood at attention, faced the bodies of his subordinates, and thumped his fist against his heart in a salute. Jean copied Levi's motions, and even Eren made a giant fist and held it up against his own chest. For a long moment they stayed like this, saluting the courage and sacrifices made by Squad Levi. Erd, Petra, Auruo, and Gunter.

Finally, Eren smoothed a thick layer of dirt over the grave with his other hand, covering the bodies up forever. Before long, Levi knew that new plant life will grow over the earth, and no one will ever be able to tell that people were buried here. Somehow, though, it seems strangely fitting. The anonymity is a kind of peace that none of them were able to find in their waking lives, filled as they were with battles and bloodshed.

Eren laid his hands down in front of Levi and Jean for the two of them to climb up on. Once they have been deposited onto Eren's shoulders once more, Jean leaned back in order to look at Levi around the Titan shifter's neck. "I'm so sorry for your loss...I don't know what else I can say..." he muttered, casting his eyes downward. 

Levi faced straight ahead once more, at the horizon. "Let's move out," he ordered, and Eren nodded once before continuing onwards past the small forest. Before long, they had left the grave far behind them.

Levi does not look back.

**-x-**

For the rest of the day, Eren focused only on moving forward, putting one foot in front of the other. He refused to think about the dead squadmates he'd just buried. _Just keep moving,_ Eren told himself firmly. _Don't think. Just keep moving._ Jean sat miserably on Eren's shoulder, head resting on his knees as he stared morosely off into the distance. Levi was as alert and attentive as ever, but the harsh set of his jaw and the unusually blank look in his eyes would have told an attentive observer how the Corporal really felt. 

As the sun started to sink towards the horizon, Levi directed Eren to stop by a thinly wooded area with a tiny brook weaving its way among the tree trunks nearby. "We should rest here for the night," he said. "It'll do no good for us to travel nonstop." Without waiting for Jean or Eren to reply, Levi grabbed a lock of Eren's hair and swung around to cut the younger man out of the nape of his Titan. 

They set up a temporary camp by the edge of the brook, not too far away from the steaming corpse of Eren's Titan form. The thing would disintegrate in a few hours anyway, so it didn't matter how close or far away from it Levi, Eren, and Jean were. Right now, Levi didn't really feel like much of anything mattered. "You two stay here and get a fire going," he instructed, in the firm, impersonal tone he used for ordering new recruits around. "I'm going to gather more firewood for us, maybe see if I can catch a squirrel or something for dinner. I'll be back before nightfall." With that, Levi turned and walked away. Eren and Jean stared after the Corporal's retreating form, quickly vanishing among the trees and thick underbrush.

"What are you waiting for?" Jean said, nudging Eren in the ribs. "Go after him!"

Eren turned to look at Jean with worried eyes. "Are you going to be alright by yourself?"

"Trust me, I'll get the food cooking quicker without your loud mouth around." Jean fixed Eren with a sharp, serious look, the kind Eren hadn't seen on his comrade's face since right after Trost. "Levi _needs_ you. Go, already."

The turquoise-eyed soldier nodded gratefully. "Thanks," he said, before running off into the woods after Levi.

Meanwhile, Levi tramped through the woods in a straight line, moving blindly through the underbrush, uncaring of how much noise he was making. He didn't know where he was going and right now, he didn't care either. Since the sun was going down, he wouldn't have to worry about Titans for much longer. And if anything else tried to give him problems, well, Levi was just itching to sink his blade into something.

He probably should have expected it, but Levi was still surprised to hear something crashing through the woods behind him, making just as much noise as Levi had been, if not more. He gripped the hilt of his sword and whirled around - only to be met with the flushed face and bright eyes of one Eren Jaeger. Levi's hand fell to his side. "Levi!" Eren gasped, as he ran up to the older man. "Thank goodness I was able to catch up with you."

"Eren, what the hell are you doing here?" Levi snapped, though his tone didn't have nearly the amount of bite it usually did. He sounded heavy and tired, above all. "You left Jean alone?"

"Levi, please - "

"No." Levi turned back around and started to walk forward once more. "Go back to camp and wait with Jean. I'll join you shortly." He didn't want to be with anyone right now. Levi had always grieved alone. He had no idea how to manage sharing his grief with someone else, not even Eren.

"Levi, it's _my fault!_ " Eren yelled after him, and those words made the Corporal stop and turn around once more.

"What - " Levi started, but Eren interrupted him.

"It's my fault, Levi," Eren repeated softly. His big eyes were shimmering with tears, making them gleam like jewels in the orange light of the setting sun. "Do you remember, back when we first got stuck out here? We were being chased by Titans, and I was going to transform." Eren closed his eyes, and felt hot tears spill over and run down his cheeks. He didn't bother wiping them away. Behind the dark of his eyelids, Eren relived that horrible winter's day. The pounding of his horse's hooves through the snow, drowned out by the earth-shaking footsteps and roars of the Titans only a few yards away. The feeling of his hand against his mouth. Erd and Petra telling him not to transform, and Levi saying that he needed to make a choice. 

"Do you remember, Levi?" Eren balled his hands into fists, determined not to start sobbing now. "You told me then that it was my choice, whether or not to transform. And I - I made the wrong choice." Eren's stomach muscles clenched as, despite his best efforts, a sob escaped him anyway. "If I'd transformed back then and fought off those Titans, we would've made it back to the Walls. Everyone would still be alive..."

Then Eren felt a warm body pressed against his own, and two hands gently cupping his cheeks. He opened his eyes and looked down to see Levi, gazing at him with an intensity Eren had never seen before. The smaller man's thumbs moved to wipe Eren's tears away. And Eren didn't know who had initiated it, but all of a sudden the two of them were kissing. Everything was hot and salty from Eren's tears, and all Eren could think about was the feeling of Levi's lips against his, Levi's tongue in his mouth.

Eren's arms came up to wrap around Levi's shoulders, and the two of them kissed each other desperately, each needing the contact to affirm that the other was alive in the midst of their grief. They were hurting, but they were both still _alive._

Levi and Eren finally pulled apart out of need for air, both of them breathing heavily. Levi's hands were still cupping Eren's cheeks, and he tilted the Titan shifter's head down to better face him. "Don't fucking say that, Eren," Levi murmured. "You made a choice based on what you thought was right at the time. I will never blame you for that," Levi leaned up to kiss Eren once more. "In the end, all we can do is not regret the choices we've made," he said quietly.

A storm of emotions swirled in and around the Levi and Eren, raging inside of them and shared through every kiss and touch. Intense grief, anger, pain, arousal, and attraction clouded their minds, making it difficult to focus. Levi found himself pushing Eren down to lie in the thick underbrush, yanking the Titan shifter's shirt off in the process so that his hands could rove over warm, bare skin. Eren's fingers fumbled at the buckles of Levi's straps, cursing quietly at the difficulty of getting them off. "Why the hell did you have to put the Maneuver Gear on?" He muttered.

Levi moved Eren's hands out of the way. "Just let me do it," he said, and removed the leather straps with the practiced ease of someone who had worn them for many years in the field. His 3D Maneuver Gear fell to the ground with a dull _thunk,_ and then Eren was pulling Levi's shirt off as well.

Looking down, Levi could see Eren's erection straining against his pants, much like Levi's own was. He leaned over and rubbed their clothed erections together, causing Eren to moan. "Levi...I...I want..."

"Eren," Levi whispered against Eren's ear. "I want to fuck you. Properly. Will you let me?"

" _Yes,_ Levi," Eren sighed, undoing the catch of Levi's pants and releasing the older man's dick. Levi leaned back and sighed with relief at the feel of cool air against the hard, heated flesh. He groaned at the feeling of Eren's hand against it. "I trust you. Just...make me forget everything. Please."

Levi leaned down to capture Eren's lips in a bruising kiss, before yanking Eren's pants and underwear down in a single, harsh motion that nearly ripped the fabric. Eren kicked out of the restricting clothes, leaving them bunched in a messy pile at his feet that Levi couldn't bring himself to care about right now. He leaned down to give Eren's dick a few harsh strokes, causing the younger man to cry out, arms wrapping tight around Levi's shoulders. 

Levi gently lifted up Eren's legs, felt his cock throb at the sight of Eren's twitching, pretty pink hole...and then cursed at the realization that he didn't have any damn _lube._ He would hurt Eren if he penetrated him dry, and using spit really wasn't much better, at least not for penetration. Not to mention that the thought of spitting all over Eren's ass made Levi wince with disgust. It looked like he might just have to settle with fingering Eren again...unless...

Levi pulled himself away from Eren, causing the boy to cry out in confusion, and searched through the slats and compartments of the Maneuver Gear lying nearby. The dim moonlight didn't make it easy, but Levi's fingers finally found the small glass bottle and pulled it out. No soldier ever went without a bit of oil for greasing their Maneuver Gear wires and preventing the whole thing from jamming. He returned to Eren's side, gently kissing the younger man to apologize for his abrupt departure. Levi popped open the bottle of oil and dipped his fingers in, coating them with a layer of slick. Seeing Eren's confused glance, he explained: "It's Maneuver Gear oil. I'm using it as lube, since we don't have anything better right now."

Eren nodded, and Levi gently pressed his fingers against the rim of Eren's entrance. "I'm going to stretch you now, or else it'll hurt when I put my cock in. I've fingered you before, so you know how it works. Just relax, Eren."

Eren nodded, and hissed slightly as Levi's index finger pressed in. Levi peppered kisses around Eren's face, and gave his dick a few good strokes in order to take his lover's mind away from the sting of a foreign object inside of him. He moved his finger gently, and after Eren's face had relaxed, Levi gently inserted a second. He moved his two fingers in a scissoring motion, reaching up in order to brush against Eren's prostate.

"Ah! Ah...ah...Levi...more..." Eren cried out as Levi touched his most sensitive place. "Please...I need..."

"Not yet," Levi said, and carefully inserted a third finger, stretching Eren's walls gently. _"Fuck,"_ he hissed as Eren's squeezed against his fingers. His cock throbbed painfully at the sensation, and at Eren's sweet moans and cries.

"Levi...I'm...so full...please, let me come..."

"Eren, I'm going to fuck you now," Levi said. "I'll let you come just like the dirty, eager boy you are once I'm in."

Eren looked up at him, and Levi's breath caught in his throat at the sight of those big, beautiful turquoise eyes shining in the moonlight, looking up at him with such trust and tenderness. Eren gently lifted a hand to caress Levi's cheek. "I trust you, Levi," he whispered. "You can go ahead."

Levi removed his finger's from Eren's hole, causing his lover to let out a disappointed groan at the loss of sensation. The Corporal dipped his fingers into the oil once more and slathered up his dick, sighing at the feeling of sensation against the hard, throbbing flesh. Precum was pearling at the tip, and Levi didn't think he'd be able to last much longer if he didn't get inside of Eren _right fucking now._

The older man bent down, positioning his cock at Eren's entrance, and gently started to press inside. "Ah!" Eren cried out, throwing his head back. "You're...really fucking big, Levi..." 

Levi kissed Eren once more, making hushed, soothing little sounds against Eren's soft mouth. He reached around with his other hand to stroke Eren's dick once more, in order to distract him from any pain, as he slowly pushed in, inch by inch. 

Before long, Levi had sheathed himself in Eren up to the hilt. The feeling of Eren's tight, hot asshole clenching around Levi's cock was nothing short of amazing. Levi's eyes fluttered closed. He felt as if he could come from the sensation of being inside Eren alone. The Corporal would have confessed his feelings to the brat ages ago, if he'd known that sex would feel like _this._

There was another soft touch on his cheek, and Levi opened his eyes to see Eren smiling at him, leaning in for a kiss. "You can move," he whispered, and Levi nodded, gently pushing Eren back down as he started to gently thrust in and out.

Eren moved his hips to meet every thrust of Levi's cock, crying out as the older man repeatedly hit his prostate. It felt so _good_ to have Levi so close to him, _inside_ of him. Eren never wanted him to leave. "Levi, more, I can take it," he hissed.

Levi sped up the pace, losing himself in the hot, tight pleasure of fucking Eren and at the younger man's cries of "more, more, I need to come!" As Eren's hands came up to pull Levi close against his chest, pressing kisses into his dark hair, all of Levi's walls seemed to fall away. He started talking, barely even conscious of what he was saying, only that he knew all of his words were true.

"I love you, Eren. I love you so, so damned much. Don't die on me. Fucking _promise me_ that you won't die, Eren. Please, I need you. I don't know what I'll do if you die..."

Eren pushed back slightly, putting a bit of space between them so that he could look at Levi's face. Coming to the realization of what he had just said, Levi abruptly stopped moving inside of Eren, his eyes widening with panic. "Oh shit...Eren..."

And then Eren's hands were touching Levi's face for the third time, only for the tips of the younger man's fingers to come back glistening in the moonlight. "Levi...you're crying..." he whispered in amazement, staring at the wet tracks of tears rolling down Levi's face. To say that Eren was shocked would have been an understatement. Seeing Levi, stoic, unsmiling Levi, actually _crying_ was something as amazing as if the Titans suddenly all disappeared tomorrow. Levi didn't cry, not about anything. Eren hadn't even been sure that it was possible. And yet, here Levi was, with tears running down his cheeks, making his eyes gleam bright silver.

"Huh?" Levi said rather unintelligently, then lifted his own hand to his cheek, surprised at the wetness he felt there. He honestly couldn't remember the last time he cried. "I guess...I am." Levi looked at Eren, and something inside of him clenched at the sight of Eren crying as well, those big eyes of his shining even brighter with tears.

"Eren..." Levi murmured, holding his lover close, both of them sighing in pleasure at the feeling of Levi's still-hard cock inside of Eren. "I'm sorry Please don't cry. I shouldn't have said all of that stupid shit - "

He was silenced by Eren pressing a finger gently against his lips. "It's OK," Eren said, giving Levi a watery smile through his tears before leaning in to kiss him. "I just - I love you, too, Levi. I promise I won't die. I promise." Eren pressed his fist up against his heart in a salute, giving Levi the same fiery look he'd had the first time the older man had seen him in that jail cell.

Levi lost it. He leaned in to kiss Eren fiercely, the both of them tasting salt in their mouths. The Corporal started to move once more, palming Eren's flagging erection in order to bring it back to full hardness once again. He continued kissing Eren throughout, swallowing all of the boy's pleasured cries and whimpers, wanting to keep all of those lovely sounds inside of himself forever.

Then Levi started to feel the pressure coiling inside of him, building at the base of his spine, signaling his impending orgasm. He pulled away from Eren's mouth. "Eren, I'm gonna...ahh...come..."

"Go ahead," Eren replied. "I'm close, too...it feels so good, Levi..."

Levi thrust faster, and Eren lifted his hips to meet him every time. Eren's cock rubbed against Levi's stomach as they moved together, and it felt so _good,_ he didn't think he could take it anymore - "Ah, Levi, Levi - !" Eren cried out as he came, so hard that he saw white. Spurts of come splashed against Levi's chest and belly, and after one more thrust Levi was coming as well. The Corporal's mouth opened in a silent cry, his brows furrowing as he filled Eren up with his come, an action that made the younger man's limp and softening cock give a last half-hearted twitch.

The two men slumped against each other, panting and sweating and smiling at each other. They shared one last kiss before Levi pulled his softening cock out, feeling smug at the sight of his come dripping out of Eren's hole. He rolled off of Eren and immediately pulled his lover close in a tight embrace. The two of them stayed like that for a few moments, each listening to the sound of the other's heartbeat and breathing in a warm silence.

Levi was the one who spoke first. "So I assume that Jean was alright with you running after me?"

"Yeah," Eren replied. "He yelled at me to come after you, actually."

"Hmph. Idiot," Levi said, but he was smiling, and his words held a fond tone. "We need to get back to him soon."

"In a minute. Just...let's just lay here like this for a few minutes." Eren nuzzled against Levi's collarbone, and the Corporal gently reached up to card his fingers through Eren's hair.

"Alright, brat," he whispered, and the two of them laid curled up together, pressed against each other, their bodies firm and solid in the blackness of the forest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter would have been done a week ago, but I was slammed with a 15-page paper the first week of school. :/ GRAD SCHOOL, EVERYONE. 
> 
> Besides wanting to keep things as close to canon as possible in this fic, I had two reasons for writing this chapter. The first is that I wanted to give Squad Levi a proper burial. To me their deaths were especially tragic because there was no closure (I legit cried when they had to throw Petra's body off the wagon you guys). I also wanted Levi to have a real, genuine emotional reaction for once. In my opinion, he bottles his feelings up tight and just channels it all into killing Titans. I wanted to experiment with him having an actual emotional release for once (and a sexual one too cause I'm a perv hue hue hue).
> 
> As always, thanks for the support, everyone. It means a lot. :)


	17. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our trio has one final showdown with a familiar enemy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I had this edited two days ago and realized just today that I'd forgotten to post it. ^.^;;;
> 
> Also, anime/manga spoilers for those of you who haven't watched the Ilse Langner OVA or read the chapter about her in the manga. It's only a sentence or two, but I just thought I'd put it out there in case anyone is really adamant about spoilers or something.
> 
> Enjoy!

Despite their best efforts, Levi and Eren ended up falling asleep out in the woods. Feeling safe and cozy with Levi by his side, Eren couldn't help falling prey to the sleepiness invading his body, making his limbs heavy and his head pleasantly drowsy. And Levi, who was both emotionally and physically exhausted from the day's events, couldn't help curling closer to his lover's warm body and slowly drifting off with his cheek buried against Eren's soft hair.

Levi woke up as the first rays of dawn were touching the horizon, turning the sky from velvety black to a soft pearl grey. He yawned and stretched, turning to look at Eren sleeping by his side. Eren looked absolutely beautiful while he was asleep, and Levi couldn't help the soft smile that played at his lips as he looked at his lover. Damn, but the brat was turning him into a sentimental old fool. Eren's hair was even more adorably messy than usual, his mouth slightly open as cute little squeaky snores came out of it. Eren had pretty long eyelashes for a guy, and they fluttered nicely against the curve of Eren's cheek. Levi couldn't help reaching out to gently stroke Eren's hair, enjoying the way his lover made a slight noise and moved closer to Levi in his sleep. Thank goodness Jean wasn't around right now, as Levi wanted to be the only one who got to enjoy his sleeping lover - 

The Corporal went rigid, his hand freezing against Eren's hair. _Oh shit. Shit fuck fuck shit! I forgot about Jean!_ Levi thought. He felt slightly sick as he realized that he and Eren had left Jean back at camp for the whole night. What if he'd had an accident, or wild animals had been attracted to the fire? Not to mention the fact that he and Eren had fucking fallen asleep out in the middle of the woods, with absolutely no protection from anything that might come along. And the sun was coming up too, which meant that it wouldn't be long before Titans would be stirring.

 _Goddamn, I am a stupid fucking idiot._ "Eren," Levi hissed, shaking Eren roughly awake. "Get up, we have to go."

"Huh?" Eren mumbled, slowly sitting up and rubbing the sleep from his eyes. It would have been adorable if Levi wasn't still berating himself for making what were possibly some of the worst decisions a commanding officer in the field could ever make. The fact that he'd been grieving was absolutely no excuse. "Wha - what's going on?"

"We fell asleep," Levi said shortly, finding the crumpled pile of Eren's clothes in the brush and tossing them at the turquoise-eyed soldier. Eren blinked blearily as the clothes fell into his lap. Levi grimaced at the state of his own uniform - the fabric was crumpled and probably had grass stains; what the fuck had he even been _thinking_ last night. "Get dressed, we need to get back to Jean now."

Eren's eyes went wide, all the sleepiness draining from his body as he came to the same realization Levi had. _"Oh shit,"_ Eren hissed, and scrambled to get dressed alongside Levi. Five minutes later the two of them had their clothes on the right way and were hurrying along the trail of broken greenery they had left last night, back towards the camp.

**-x-**

Levi couldn't help but breathe a huge sigh of relief as he saw that everything in camp was, amazingly, just how they'd left it last night. Jean was sitting by the fire, boiling up some water in his canteen. His body practically slumped with relief upon seeing Levi and Eren once more. _"Finally,"_ he sighed. "I was worried that you guys had been eaten." A smirk danced around Jean's lips as he looked at Eren and Levi's messy hair and disheveled uniforms, but he didn't dare to say anything in front of Levi. The Corporal was pretty scary when he got mad, after all. 

"Are you alright, Jean? I apologize for spending so much time away from the camp," Levi said. "It was unacceptable, and I promise that it won't happen again."

"It's fine," Jean said as he poked at his canteen with a long stick. "Just - are you feeling any better, Levi?" His brow wrinkled with concern as he turned to look at the Corporal. He and Eren looked on worriedly as Levi's back stiffened, the loss of his squad once again hitting him full force. Eren went immediately to Levi's side, laying a comforting hand against the Corporal's shoulders.

"I'm alright," Levi said, as he went to sit by the fire. "I'm fine. What do we have for breakfast?" And just like that Levi was all business again, rifling through their packs in search of some dried meat or one of the few edible roots they'd managed to pry from the ground over the last few weeks.

"Actually," Jean said, "I found something really good just a little while ago, when I was looking for more firewood." Unable to suppress a huge grin, Jean opened up the pouch at his waist and drew out two handfuls of ripe, red berries, clearly the first of the season. Eren was at Jean's side in an instant, gazing down at the fruits as if they were precious jewels. Of course, to people who'd had nothing but wild game and the occasional root over the past few months, they might as well have been.

"Give those here, I'll divide them up," Levi said, as calm as ever, but Eren didn't miss the eager gleam in the shorter man's eyes at seeing the fresh treats.

"Jean, I could almost hug you right now," Eren said.

"Ew, don't," Jean replied, flinching away slightly.

"Hey, I said almost."

Once the berries were divided into three equal portions, Levi, Eren, and Jean sat around the fire and enjoyed their breakfast in a companionable silence. Eren and Jean ate their berries slowly, one at a time, each of the boys closing their eyes as they savored every bite. A few times, Levi heard one or the other actually moan as they were eating. Levi himself boiled some water in his own canteen and then added the berries, making a warm drink that, while it certainly wasn't tea, was still a bit reminiscent of it. It was certainly a hell of a lot better than that willow bark shit Eren had made for Jean when he was sick.

As they ate quietly, enjoying the sunrise and the peaceful breeze wafting through the trees around them, Levi couldn't help but feel at least a little bit better. He was still mourning his squad's death, of course, but Levi had to admit that he was feeling a bit more hopeful this morning. Of course, having a certain bright-eyed, Titan-shifting, loud-mouthed brat by your side made being hopeful a hell of a lot easier.

**-x-**

After packing up and putting out the fire, the three of them once again set out into the wilderness, Levi and Jean riding on the shoulders of Eren's Titan form as usual. Jean dozed in the crook of Eren's neck as they traveled, his arm wrapped loosely around a long lock of Titan hair. Normally Levi would have woken him up, but he still felt a little guilty about having left Jean alone in the camp the night before. So the Corporal didn't say anything and scanned the horizon, hoping that he wouldn't find more remains of fallen comrades today.

As the sun was just past its peak in the sky, they came upon a dry river bed that wound its way through a small cave in the side of a hill. Levi put a hand up to shade his eyes from the sun and looked hard at the cave, which seemed familiar. He thought that the Survey Corps had spent a night in there during an expedition, in fact. "Eren," he said into the Titan shifter's ear, and received a low grunt in response. "Lower me down by that cave, it looks familiar."

Eren put a massive hand up next to his shoulder, letting Levi step on and gently reaching down so that Levi could peer into the entrance of the cave. The sun was shining at just the right angle so that a few flat rocks embedded in the dirt at the entrance were illuminated. A few words had been carved into the hard surface of the rock. _Humanity's Strongest Squad: Levi, Erd, Gunter, Petra, Auruo. Hanji was here! Moblit B., Nifa, Ilse L. Erwin's eyebrows were here._ The words had been scratched in by different hands - some lines shallow, others deep, some letters messy, and some more organized.

Gazing upon the words of both the living and the dead, Levi swallowed against the sudden tightness in his throat. He remembered, now, his fellow soldiers gathering around the rocks as they'd packed up to leave the next morning. Everyone, it seemed, had wanted to place their mark in a world that humans had not ruled over for a long, long time. Lying half buried in the dirt near the rocks, Levi made out the dull glint of someone's canteen that must have been accidentally left behind. He reached out from around Eren's fingers and grabbed the object, brushing some of the dirt off and smiling at the Wings of Freedom insignia carved into the front.

"Bring me back up!" Levi shouted, and felt himself rise through the air, the cave growing smaller and smaller beneath him, as Eren lifted his hand and deposited the Corporal neatly back onto his Titanic shoulder. "We're close," Levi said. "The Survey Corps spent a night in here, I can tell." He tapped Eren's cheek, and the Titan shifter turned slightly to look at the canteen Levi held up. "There are a bunch of soldiers' names carved into the cave entrance as well," Levi explained.

Eren let out a loud roar in response, causing Levi to hiss angrily and wince as the noise assaulted his ears. Jean jolted awake with a startled grunt. "Wha - wha' happened?" He cried, voice still thick with sleep.

"Brat, don't fucking _do_ that!" Levi yelled into Eren's ear. "Are you trying to make me go deaf!?" Eren made a quiet, almost sheepish rumbling noise, and Levi huffed. "Just don't do it again, dammit. And Jean," he stepped carefully to the back of Eren's shoulder, so that he could look around the Titan shifter's neck and make sure that Jean had heard him. "We're close to home, I recognize that cave down there."

 _"Really?"_ Jean practically squealed, his face lighting up like a child receiving a birthday present. "That - that's amazing! After all this time, we're finally gonna get home!" He whooped, throwing a triumphant fist up in the air.

Just then, an angry roar echoed across the plains. Eren whipped around, jostling Levi and Jean slightly in the process. Sure enough, striding across the plains towards them was a group of Titans. Six of them, in fact, with three smaller ones looking to be around four- or five-meter classes, and two larger ones that were probably ten-meter classes, by Levi's guess. And in the center of the group was a massive Titan that towered even over Eren's fifteen-meter form, its eyes fixed on the Shifter and the two humans before it. And this large Titan had a rather familiar head of tangled, dirty white hair.

"No _way_..." Jean gasped. "How - how the hell did that thing find us!? It's been at least a month since we last saw it!"

The white-haired Titan let out another ear-splitting roar and started running forward past its companions, its massive feet leaving huge craters in the earth beneath it. "The fucking thing's definitely an Aberrant," Levi swore. "Normal Titans don't run like that." 

Eren let out an answering shout, having apparently forgotten what Levi had just told him two minutes ago, and ran to meet the monster head on. He threw out a fist, aiming for the thing's pale stomach, and there was a loud _thud_ as flesh met flesh. The massive Titan reeled back a few feet, then growled and reached out a hand to slap Eren. The Titan shifter ducked, but was still caught by the edge of the monster's blow. He stumbled, forcing Levi and Jean to hang on to Eren's hair in order to keep from falling off of him. Eren managed to get his footing, but by this point the other five Titans were upon them. Eren howled in pain as one of the smaller ones sunk its sharp teeth into the meat of his leg.

 _"Fuck,"_ Levi cursed. Eren's fighting skills as a Titan were pretty good after all of the practicing they'd done, but there was no way he'd be able to fight off five Titans while also having to deal with the Aberrant. He quickly checked the tanks of his 3D Maneuver Gear and swore again. Levi would basically be running on fumes, and he was pretty sure that Jean's fuel situation wasn't much better. 

One of the ten-meter classes reached out and shoved Eren, who let out another pained growl as he caught the heavy blow against his chest. He reached down with his arm and literally wrenched the five-meter class that had its teeth sunk into his leg, and the ten-meter class that had just bit Eren took the opportunity to grab Eren's arm and pull him towards the ground.

"Jean!" Levi shouted, grabbing hold of Eren's hair in order to keep from flying off of the Titan shifter as he fell. The wind generating from Eren's falling body whipped at his hair and face, and the world spun around him in a blur of brown and green. "Activate your 3D Maneuver Gear! We need to help Eren!" Levi pulled his blades out of their holsters and yanked hard on the triggers, sending wires out to land on the back of the nearest Titan and propel the Corporal forward through the air. Behind him, Levi heard the hiss of Jean's 3D Maneuver Gear as the amber-eyed soldier went rocketing off towards the Titan that had pulled Eren down. Out of the corner of his eye, Levi saw Eren land hard on his hands and knees before slowly pulling himself back up, breathing heavily. Those bright green eyes looked positively murderous.

Levi couldn't help the feral grin that spread across his face at the feeling of whizzing through the air again with Maneuver Gear. It felt like freedom, with the wind against his cheeks and the hard steel glint of the blades in his hand making Levi think that this must be what it was like to truly be free. He felt competent and powerful as he launched into a spin, letting out a harsh laugh as he felt his blades slice through the nape of the Titan's neck as easily as cutting through fresh-baked bread. The Titan let out a loud groan of pain as it fell to the ground, with Levi already rocketing off towards the next Titan.

Jean gave a triumphant shout as a spray of blood erupted from the Titan he'd just killed, and pirouetted through the air towards one that Eren had knocked off balance with a well-time punch to the jaw. The Titan shifter turned and barreled headfirst towards the Aberrant, letting out a loud shriek as he landed a punch right against its lower abdomen. The monster growled and clamped its two giant hands against Eren's arms with the intent of shoving him down, but Eren dug his feet in and pushed back against it. The two of them grappled together, Eren and the Aberrant both filling the air with fierce grunts and roars as they fought.

Levi noticed one of the smaller Titans heading in Eren's direction, and changed course to finish it off with another elegant swipe of his blades across its nape before rappelling off to land against the a nearby tree and assess the situation. There was only one Titan left now, and Levi watched Jean fly towards it. The monster made a clumsy swipe at Jean, but he simply shot out a few more wires, and whizzed around the giant hand. Jean's blades dug into the Titan's neck, and Levi watched as the thing fell lifelessly to the ground, steaming chunks of blood and flesh flying through the air around it. Jean had shown quite good form for a novice, and Levi was impressed. The boy would make a fine soldier one day, Levi was sure of that.

His feelings of exhilaration and triumph quickly faded to alarm as Levi turned to see how Eren was doing. It was quickly becoming apparent to Levi that Eren, despite putting up one hell of a fight, was losing against the huge white-haired Titan. _"Eren!"_ He shouted, zooming towards the Aberrant as fast as he could. Levi felt white-hot rage boil up inside as Eren was shoved hard onto his back, letting out a howl of pain as his head bounced off of a boulder.

The Aberrant leaned down and grabbed a handful of Eren's hair, using it to smash his head down against the boulder once more. Eren roared, steaming red blood dripping from a wound in the back of his head, dangerously close to his nape. _"Come on,"_ Levi growled, willing his Maneuver Gear to go faster. If that Titan somehow managed to get Eren's human body out of the Titan one, they were all doomed.

Another set of Maneuver Gear wires shot out to Levi's left, and the sting of hooks digging into its flesh caused the monster to turn around. Levi watched as Jean flew at the thing, his eyes fixed on its body and his swords held high as he screamed bloody murder. "FUCK YOU, BASTARD!"

Levi saw the Aberrant's hand reach out towards Jean before Jean did. "JEAN, WATCH OUT!" Levi shouted, and Jean's eyes widened just as the Titan's hand snatched him out of the air in the same way that a child would catch a ladybug. Levi flew forward, shooting his Maneuver Gear wires from tree to tree as he raced towards the Titan. _Please, let me get there before it eats Jean..._

But the Aberrant didn't eat Jean. It clenched its fist around him - not tight enough to kill Jean, but enough so that he didn't have the room to use his Maneuver Gear to escape. Levi caught one last look at Jean's terrified face before the Titan turned and started running. Levi's eyes widened in shock. It was very rare for a Titan, even an Aberrant, not to immediately eat any human it had in its grip. But it wasn't unheard of - Levi remembered reading about a similar instance in Ilse Langner's diary. Right now, he was thankful. It gave him more time to get to Jean.

Levi soared and spun through the air, launching out wires to send him swinging from tree to tree in pursuit of the Aberrant. Although there weren't many trees around, there were just enough to make it so that Levi could continue his pursuit. Yet it seemed that no matter how far and how fast he went, the Titan was always just a bit too far away for Levi to latch onto it. And the Maneuver Gear's engine was starting to make a disconcerting rattling sound, which meant that it was dangerously low on gas. If Levi didn't make it to Jean soon, he would simply fall out of the air to his death. As it was, he didn't even know if he had enough fuel left to make it back to where Eren was.

"AHH! HELP! HELP!" Jean was shouting, and Levi could see him frantically thrashing around in the Aberrant's grip to no avail.

"Hold _still,_ Jean, before the damn thing decides to eat you!" Levi shouted, but he wasn't sure if Jean could hear him now. His Maneuver Gear was coughing and sputtering something fierce, and Levi wasn't sure how much longer he'd be able to stay airborne. Fear started to gnaw at his stomach, its icy grip reaching out to curl up tight in Levi's chest.

There was an ear-splitting roar behind him, and Levi turned around for the briefest of moments, dreading the sight of yet another Titan pursuing him. Sure enough, there was a large form racing across the earth with heavy footsteps, quickly drawing abreast of Levi. The Titan's head was wreathed in a thin layer of steam, outlining a great, toothy maw that looked positively demonic. But there was no mistaking that tangle of brown hair and those ferocious green eyes, fixed on the Aberrant with all the intensity of a predator going in for the kill. _"Eren!"_ Levi shouted in relief, and saw one great green eye fix briefly on him in acknowledgement. He moved through the air as quick as he could, determined now to take down the Aberrant with his lover's assistance.

With another loud roar, Eren literally leapt up onto the Aberrant, throwing all of his weight forward and wrapping his arms and legs around the monster. The Aberrant howled in pain, and Levi heard the telltale _crack_ of breaking bones as the thing stumbled and started flailing around, trying desperately to shake Eren off. In its panic, the Aberrant's grip loosened just enough for Jean to activate his Maneuver Gear and launch himself out of the Titan's grip. Levi sighed in relief at seeing a set of wires latch onto Eren's back, with Jean landing safely atop Eren a moment later.

The Aberrant fell to its knees, reaching its arms back in a desperate attempt to pry Eren off of it. As it clawed at Eren's hair, Eren opened his mouth and bit down hard on the Titan's shoulder, sending a spray of blood up in the air. The monster fell to its knees, and Levi saw his chance. He launched a pair of wires out to latch on to the Aberrant's shoulder blade and pulled himself forward, launching into a spin and slicing neatly through the Aberrant's neck. _Fuck off and die,_ he thought fiercely as a spray of steaming blood burst into the air around him. As the Titan fell, it turned its head just enough for Levi to see one of its great dark eyes. And it almost seemed to Levi as if there was a gleam of intelligence there, or perhaps of sadness, before rising clouds of steam obscured the Aberrant's face entirely. It had probably been a trick of the light, however. Titans weren't smart, after all. (Well, Eren was, but that was different).

Levi pulled on the triggers of his 3D Maneuver Gear, ready to launch himself back onto Eren, who had let go of the dying Titan and was standing back up, steaming blood dripping from his mouth. But the Maneuver Gear only sputtered for a moment before dying completely. Levi pulled on it again, twice, a third time - but the Maneuver Gear still wouldn't start. _Shit, I'm out of gas!_ Levi thought in a panic as the dead Titan's body fell through the air. Without wires to brace himself, it wouldn't be long until Levi was thrown completely off the thing. "Eren!" He shouted, closing his eyes tightly against the wind rushing past his face.

A heavy weight hit Levi across the midriff, knocking all of the air out of him and sending him flying up and around through the air. The world spun dizzily beneath him as Levi was deposited neatly onto a soft, firm surface. It took a moment for Levi to catch his breath and blink the stars out of his eyes before he realized that he had been deposited safely back onto Eren's shoulder. Levi's own shoulders slumped in relief. "Thanks, brat," he murmured, leaning against the Titan shifter's ear. "Are you alright?" He asked and received what sounded like a happy purr in return. Levi smiled slightly. "Good to hear."

"Levi! Look!" Levi raised his head at Jean's yell, and looked around Eren's neck at the amber-eyed soldier. Jean's eyes, wide and filled with awe, were fixed on something far off in the distance. His finger, trembling slightly, was pointing at a thin gray structure on the horizon. Something that was much too straight and smooth to be only a mountain.

"It's the Walls!" Jean cried again, and he raised his fist up in the air with a shout of laughter. "We've found the Walls! We're gonna make it back home!" He reached out and hugged Eren's neck out of pure happiness. "Haha! That was amazing!"

Levi sat down on Eren's shoulder, his eyes fixed on the horizon and, for the second time in as many days, filling up with tears. Only now, these were tears of happiness. Levi scrubbed a hand across his face before the tears could fall and grinned. "Well, I'll be damned," he said into Eren's ear, as Jean whooped and hollered with glee on Eren's other shoulder. "I never thought in my life that I'd ever be happy to see those fucking Walls." He leaned over and gently kissed the shell of Eren's Titan ear, enjoying the way it twitched afterwards. "You did good, Eren. You did real good."

Deep inside the fleshy cocoon of his Titan, Eren smiled. _We made it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Midterms are a bitch, you guys. They take up time I could otherwise be using to write fanfiction... :(
> 
> The white-haired Titan isn't a Shifter, for anyone who's curious. I have a headcanon that Aberrant Titans retain some small amount of human intelligence (which is why they act weird). So I was trying to kind of show that aspect of them in this chapter.
> 
> I can't believe I'm almost done with this fic, I've been working on it for over a year already! Jeez...People have started and finished fics in the time it's taken me to write this. Thank you as always to all of you who have commented, left kudos, and followed me on this wild ride. Epilogue is up next! :D


	18. Epilogue: Homecoming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi, Eren, and Jean make it back home.

Within Wall Rose, it was a particularly fine early spring day. The sun shone high and bright in an eggshell blue sky. The last few slushy piles of snow had finally melted away to reveal the tender green buds of new flowers and leaves. Swallows and robins could be seen fluttering and chirping about, staying low to the ground in hopes of finding a good morsel to eat. The soft breeze was cool without being too cold, gently rustling the short, black hair of a lone girl sitting atop the massive Wall, looking out at the ruins of what had once been human territory inside of Wall Maria.

Mikasa Ackerman had been coming up to the top of Wall Rose for a month and a half now, ever since she had realized that Eren wasn't coming back. Technically, no one was allowed up on the Walls save for members of the Garrison, and the occasional specially-arranged trip for schoolchildren. However, a few cold, dark stares from Mikasa's end were usually enough to scare any soldier away from trying to convince her to leave. She wanted to be alone. It helped that Hannes was now in a prominent position within the Garrison, and he was the closest thing Eren, Mikasa, and Armin had to a parental figure since Armin's grandfather had gotten sent away on that suicide mission to retake Wall Maria years ago. Hannes had basically told everyone to respect Mikasa's space or else risk losing a limb, and she was grateful for his help.

Mikasa found that she liked being up on the Wall. Aside from the occasional Garrison soldier, there was no one else around but her, and she was too high up to really hear much of anything from the streets below. It was the closest thing Mikasa could be to the outside world, which Eren had always dreamed and fantasized about seeing. It was where he had died, and where Mikasa now felt closest to him. If she closed her eyes and breathed deep, then Mikasa could almost imagine that Eren was sitting beside her, talking eagerly about all of the wonderful things that the outside world had to offer. _"Entire lands covered in ice, Mikasa, and mountains that spit fire! And a body of water that stretches out as far as the eye can see and is filled with salt...Armin called it an "ocean!" We'll see it all someday!_

On especially clear days, Mikasa could just barely make out the crooked spire of the old town chapel back in Shiganshina. It always filled her heart with bittersweet childhood memories, back when her greatest concerns had been keeping Eren and Armin safe from bullies and getting enough firewood home by dinnertime. Oh, how she missed those simpler, sweeter times.

A week after the small expedition that Eren had gone on with the Special Operations Squad, when not even one soldier had made it back to HQ, the entire Survey Corps had erupted into a nervous frenzy. The Corps' best soldier, his elite squad, and their best hope for finally eradicating the Titans had all seemingly vanished without a trace, and during a routine mission that had only been intended for Eren to get a taste of what an actual expedition was like. Speculations and rumors about what had happened to them were rampant. Soldiers scurried about HQ like ants, doing everything they could to keep busy, while the Commander spent entire days conversing with the other ranking Survey Corps officers in his office. The nervous energy put Mikasa on edge, and she found excuses to get away from HQ and hang around the main gate of Wall Rose, waiting for Eren to ride in. For Eren to come _home,_ back to where he belonged, with Mikasa and Armin. She would scold him for making her worry so much, as she always did, and then make sure that he got a decent meal, a bath, and a good nights' sleep. Everyone would be happy and relieved that Eren was finally back, and life in the Survey Corps would fall back into a normal routine - or as normal of a routine as a group of elite Titan hunters could have, anyway.

After three weeks had passed with no word of the expedition, the Survey Corps seemed to slowly but unanimously come to the conclusion that Eren, Lance Corporal Levi and the entire party that had been sent out were dead. A heavy gloom settled over the camp, like a thick weight that caused people to drag their feet as if they were trekking through mud. Daily chores and training were performed with a kind of dull, unenthusiastic slowness. It was quite a jarring change from everyone's previous frenetic activity. It seemed as if everyone's hope and optimism had evaporated, leaving only a kind of cold, miserable resignation behind. Commander Erwin spent his days holed up in his office, presumably holding conferences with his officers. Major Hanji wandered around the training grounds muttering to herself in agitation, trailed by a very worried-looking Moblit.

Those who had formerly been a part of the 104th Training Regiment were taking the loss especially hard. They had lost two comrades, Eren and Jean. After all, they had all known Eren from before he was "Humanity's Last Hope." They knew him as a friend, a comrade-in-arms, a loud and enthusiastic young man who was unmatched in his determination and conviction. The fact that Jean was gone as well created a huge sense of loss that Mikasa personally didn't see their little group coming back from. If anyone so much as mentioned Eren or Jean around the 104th, a kind of stony silence came over everyone. Teeth were gritted and fists were clenched as people tried to rein in their anger and sadness. Someone - usually Sasha or Connie - would start crying quietly. It was horrible.

The Commander came down to the mess hall and said a few words one morning, about Eren and Levi's "brave sacrifice for the good of humanity," and about how "we need to keep moving forward, even despite these tragedies." Mikasa didn't remember the specifics of what he said. She refused to believe that Eren was gone. These Survey Corps men and women didn't know her brother. They didn't know how Eren had killed two men at the age of nine, how he'd survived being swallowed by a Titan. There was no way, _no fucking way,_ that Eren could die on some bullshit routine expedition. He would come back, of that Mikasa was absolutely sure. It was only a matter of _when._

Mikasa kept herself as busy as possible, determined not to worry herself into sickness. She ran laps, did crunches and push-ups, practiced with her 3D Maneuver Gear. She weeded the vegetable gardens, scrubbed the flagstones in the front courtyard, even mucked out the stables. At any moment she expected to hear Eren shouting for her and Armin as he came running down the road up to the front entrance of HQ. Mikasa would run up to him, wrap him in her arms, and never let Eren go.

Although he was trying hard to keep up a strong front, Mikasa could tell that Armin wasn't taking Eren's absence well. He'd been fairly close with Jean as well, which only caused his grief to deepen. The tiny blond was practically forcing himself to eat, and he went about his daily chores with a kind of stiffness that Mikasa hadn't seen in Armin since just after the fall of Wall Maria. Armin had started sneaking into Mikasa's bed at night as well, curling up against her as if she was a rock, the only firm and steady thing he had left in this world. It reminded Mikasa of sleeping pressed close to Eren and Armin in the refugee camp when they were younger, the three of them close enough to hear each other's beating hearts. They all fell asleep listening to each other breathe, taking comfort in the fact that three of them were alive for one more day. It felt wrong to only feel Armin's heartbeat and her own, without Eren's.

Some nights Armin excused himself in the middle of dinner after half-heartedly picking at his meal, saying that he "needed to use the bathroom." After around half an hour had passed and Armin inevitably didn't come back, Mikasa would take Armin's dinner and a torch, and go out looking for him. Armin hadn't been eating well since Eren had been presumed dead. He was already small and scrawny for his age, and Mikasa didn't want Armin to start skipping meals on top of that.

She would usually find Armin sobbing in some darkened corner of the training grounds, and Mikasa would sit down beside him and rub his back while coaxing food into him. It reminded Mikasa of shoving bread down Eren's throat when they were children, forcing him to eat when his stubborn pride would otherwise have refused the food. "He's d-dead, Mikasa!" Armin cried over and over, sniffling into his raggedy dinner napkin. "Eren's dead!"

"Eren isn't dead, Armin," Mikasa said firmly. "He would never abandon us. He'll come back. We're his family, and Eren will always come back to us."

Yet only two weeks after saying so, Mikasa herself, the last believer in Eren's survival, realized that there was no way that her brother was still alive.

She was lying in bed at night, unable to sleep with the cold winter wind howling outside, rattling the windows in their frames and slipping through the cracks in the walls to nip at her toes. Mikasa was worried about how Eren was faring in this cold weather. He had always been unusually warm because of his Titan powers, but would it be enough to keep Eren from getting sick? Was his cloak still in good shape? Did he have any food to eat? How was he keeping safe from the Titans?

An image flashed in Mikasa's mind then, something she hadn't thought of in a long time. Of Eren's Titan form in Trost, shrieking and howling in fury as it was overwhelmed by Titans. Of how Eren's Titan body had finally fallen in a crumpled steaming heap, and then abandoned by the Titans for dead. He had taken so many of them down, but eventually Eren had been overwhelmed. Not knowing that it was Eren yet, Mikasa had felt a brief pang of sorrow for the Titan that had turned against its fellows and saved her life in the process. It had looked so pathetic, lying there...until Eren rose up from the steaming corpse like a phoenix, and Mikasa's heart had risen along with him.

Mikasa's eyes widened, her face turning pale from shock. _There are so many Titans outside the Walls,_ she thought blankly. _And Eren can't control his Titan form well. He'll eventually be overwhelmed. And he can move so quickly as a Titan...it wouldn't take Eren this long to get back to the Walls. He doesn't have a chance trying to get back as a human. He'd just get eaten. And what if he wasn't able to transform at all?_

 _Eren's dead,_ Mikasa thought numbly. The realization sunk deep into her body, freezing her from the inside out, as if she'd just swallowed a huge chunk of ice. _He's not coming back. He's - he really is dead._

Mikasa didn't scream, didn't cry or get angry or lose her temper at all. She'd never been the kind of person whose emotions got out of control after all. Her expression as stoic as ever, Mikasa got up and flipped her bed over, blankets and pillow and all. The loud _crash_ of the bed frame hitting the floor startled Sasha, Christa, and Ymir from sleep. Ymir didn't even get the chance to properly curse Mikasa out before she was running outside into the winter cold.

Armin found Mikasa the next morning sitting atop Wall Rose, dressed only in her sleeping pants and shirt and her Maneuver Gear. He had no idea how she'd managed to get ahold of the Maneuver Gear either, since it was kept in a tightly locked shed when not in use. By the blank look in her dark eyes, Armin could tell that Mikasa had come to the same realization he had weeks earlier - that Eren was dead. He didn't say anything, didn't try to pull Mikasa into a hug or touch her arm comfortingly. Armin just sat down next to Mikasa, and the two remained sitting atop Wall Rose in silence until someone from the Survey Corps came up to admonish them for abandoning their chores.

Now, it was Mikasa who went about her duties with a stiff, miserable determination. She forced herself to eat at meals and to practice alongside her fellow soldiers with the 3D Maneuver Gear. The only reason Mikasa still had for living was that Eren would have wanted her to survive. She knew that her brother would be ashamed and angry if Mikasa killed herself now, and the last thing she had ever wanted was to let Eren down. So she continued on, plodding through her days in the same way tired way of a person trudging through a swamp. The only time Mikasa felt much of anything was here, atop Wall Rose, looking out at the world that Eren never really got to see.

The whir of 3D Maneuver Gear wires sounded beside her, and Mikasa sharply turned her head to see a familiar slim body with chin-length blond hair land neatly beside her. Armin had really improved with Maneuver Gear since their training days, she realized idly. "Hey," Mikasa said quietly.

"Hey," Armin replied. "Squad Leader Nanaba wants to see you, said you and I are going to be transferred to her squad. I've heard that her soldiers are supposed to be good people, and easy to work with. We shouldn't have any trouble."

"Mm," Mikasa grunted noncommittally. "I'll be down in a moment." Just then, a flash of movement caught her eye, and Mikasa turned back to look out beyond the Wall. Running in a straight line right at them was the unmistakable flesh-colored, humanoid form of a Titan. The creature's arms pumped at its sides as it ran, taking long and confident strides. It seemed dead-set on reaching the Wall.

Mikasa's eyes narrowed in suspicion. Titans usually wandered about aimlessly below, their giant feet crunching over the rubble of what had formerly been people's houses. Occasionally one of them would turn and paw half-heartedly at the Wall like some kind of particularly stupid animal. She had never really seen a Titan actually running before, and with what seemed to be a singular purpose in mind as well. She frowned sharply, resting a hand on the blade at her side. Was it an Aberrant? Or something like the Armored and Colossal Titans that had broken down Wall Maria so many years ago? Mikasa wondered if she might be allowed down to kill the damn thing before it was able to cause any harm. 

"Armin. Look," she said, lifting a hand out to point at the Titan running towards them.

Armin followed Mikasa's gaze, his own brows furrowing in confusion. "What is that thing...?" He murmured. 

"I don't know...it's pretty big. Why is it acting like that, though? Do you think it's an Aberrant?"

"Could be," Armin said, rifling through the pouch at his waist and pulling out a small pair of binoculars. "Hang on, I'll get a closer look." Armin put the binoculars up to his face and looked out at the Titan, fiddling with a few of the knobs in order to get a better focus. After a few moments, his mouth dropped open in shock. "Holy Maria..." he whispered, awestruck. "I - I don't believe it!" Armin lowered the binoculars, his hands shaking and eyes wide with shock. "I...that's...how...?"

Mikasa looked at the boy who was practically her brother in concern. "Armin, what's wrong?" When Armin didn't answer, merely stood staring out at the Titan with his eyes wide and mouth open, as if the thing had been carrying the gates of Hell on its back. Mikasa reached out and grabbed the binoculars from his loose, trembling grip. She stood up and looked through them herself, wondering what kind of incredible sight had turned the usually verbose Armin into a stuttering mess. 

The Titan running towards them came into sharp focus through the binocular lenses. It was one that Mikasa had seen many times before, one that had always filled her with hope. A lithe, tanned body, long and messy brown hair, a big toothy mouth. And bright green eyes glowing with an unmistakable energy. Seated on the Titan's shoulders were two very familiar, green-cloaked figures. A stern-faced and short Lance Corporal Levi, and a madly grinning and waving Jean Kirschtein. 

Mikasa fell to her knees, dropping the binoculars at her side. Her vision went blurry as tears streamed down her face. It felt like her heart had leapt into her throat. For the first time in months, she was actually _feeling_ again. Relief, awe, and overwhelming happiness filled her up, threatening to burst out of Mikasa's chest as she wept. "A-Armin, quick! Go get Commander Erwin and Major Hanji, they need to see this!"

Armin still looked a little dazed, but a quick shake to his shoulder from Mikasa seemed to snap him out of it. The blond's own eyes were shimmering with tears, his lips spread into a wide smile as he nodded fiercely. "Yeah...yeah. I'll go and get them now!" Armin yanked on the triggers of his Maneuver Gear and leapt off the Wall, flying as fast as he could through the streets and over the rooftops to Survey Corps HQ.

Mikasa lifted her arm and waved as hard as she could at Eren's Titan, receiving an answering roar of affirmation. "Eren...oh, Eren! You came back to us!" She cried, wiping at her eyes as laughter bubbled up in her chest.

_Welcome back, everyone. You're home now._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's actually done! Wow. This fic that I've been working on for a freaking year now is finally finished. I feel a little like I'm sending a kid off to college here. You're all grown up now, fic! Go on out into the world!
> 
> I've never written Mikasa in any great length before, I hope she turned out alright. I love that girl. <3
> 
> *sniffles, wipes away a tear*
> 
> Thank you so, so much to everyone who read this and left comments and kudos! Your support means the world to me, and I'm so happy that this fic received a lot of positive attention! And thanks for your patience with my slow updates as well, I know I'm not the fastest writer out there. ^.^;;; You guys are the best. *kisses*
> 
> OP, wherever you are, I hope you enjoyed this fic. I had a lot of fun writing it. Now I'm off to write more stories that hopefully won't take me a year to finish! *whizzes off on 3DMG*


End file.
